10 Best Jobs for Jeremy Clarkson If ‘Top Gear’ Gets Canceled
After the “fracas” that reportedly occurred over at the BBC, Jeremy Clarkson, the controversial host of Top Gear U.K., found himself suspended indefinitely. Now the rest of the season has been cancelled, and the future of the most famous car show in the world is uncertain at best. Will Clarkson be able to apologize his way out of this mess?
Or will he be sacked and forced to carry his possessions out of the office in a cardboard box? Fans of the show would obviously love to see Clarkson return, but the longer this suspension drags on, the more likely it’s looking that he is finished on Top Gear U.K.
Like many workers who lose their jobs, though, Clarkson is going to have to find something else to do with his life. While there are many possible paths that he could take, Jezza brings a certain set of skills to the table that make him particularly well-suited to certain positions more than others. In the spirit of being helpful, here are 10 jobs that Jeremy Clarkson would be especially well suited to do.
1. Top Gear USA host
This is obviously not a radical departure from Clarkson’s current job, but he’s already very good at his current job, so why should he make a radical departure if a job offer from Top Gear USA lands on his desk? In the U.S., he would have fewer intrusions and probably more freedom — because this is America, and we love our freedom. Plus, the American version of the show airs on the History Channel, and old British men are part of American history. It would be a perfect fit!
2. Spokesman for the New Ford GT
Ford has just unveiled a new version of its supercar, the GT. With a low weight, powerful engine, advanced construction, and racing pedigree, you can expect the Ford GT to be incredibly fast and capable. That said, convincing people to spend $400,000 on a Ford might prove to be a bit of a challenge. Who would be better at convincing people to do just that than Clarkson, owner of a first-generation Ford GT and vocal proponent of giving cars more power?
3. Head of development at Mercedes-AMG
No, he’s not an engineer, and his attempts at building his own vehicles have proved disastrous in the past, but who better embodies the ethos of AMG than Clarkson? His approach to life — “Everything needs more power” — would fit in perfectly at AMG, as would his love of powerslides. Clarkson is also known for his creative solutions to difficult challenges, and as emissions regulations get more strict, figuring out how to make AMG cars even faster will soon prove to be an incredibly difficult challenge. Clarkson may be Mercedes’s only hope.
4. British prime minister
It’s been tossed around as an idea for years, but Clarkson would really make quite an excellent politician. Voters would never have to question where he stood on an issue, and listening to him argue with the opposition would be incredibly entertaining. From the top, he could also make life miserable for the people at the BBC who fired him from Top Gear. Yes, it would be petty and childish for a head of state to do something like that, but it would also be quite fitting.
5. Governor of California
Unlike becoming president of the United States, you do not have to be born in America to be California’s governor. He would have to become an American citizen, and no, he wouldn’t be eligible to run until at least 2020, but why let that stop anything? If the U.K. won’t have him as prime minister, surely Clarkson could govern California; its residents elected Arnold Schwarzenegger. For a state that was once governed by an Austrian body builder who turned into a movie star, surely a former British car show host isn’t that ridiculous of a candidate.
6. British ambassador to Argentina
Perhaps becoming governor of California is a bit too far out there. After all, becoming a citizen and spending five years planning a campaign could all be for naught if Clarkson were to lose the election. He still has a lot of potential in politics, though, so why not become a foreign ambassador? Having recently traveled to Argentina to shoot the last Top Gear Christmas special, Clarkson spent a lot of time getting to know the local people and learning first hand about British-Argentine relations. I don’t see how this could go poorly.
7. Test driver for Tesla
On his show, Clarkson has driven a lot of cars. In fact, there are probably only a few people out there who have driven as many different cars as Clarkson, and two of them are his co-hosts. With his years of experience and vast knowledge, Clarkson would bring an invaluable body of knowledge and experience to any manufacturer that hired him.
Many more established companies already have their development processes set in stone. Tesla, on the other hand, is a young upstart that could use Clarkson’s playful spirit, as well as his fame. Who could be better at testing the acceleration, braking, range, and recharging ability of a new Tesla model than Clarkson?
8. Head of the Lorry Drivers Union
Considering his love of driving, you would perhaps think that he would want to make driving his new career. As a lorry driver, the British term for truck driver, he would be able to travel the country every day while engaging in one of his favorite activities.
At 54, though, Clarkson is getting a bit old, and his bad back would likely cause him all kinds of problems if he became a lorry driver. But what he could do is represent lorry drivers. Trucking is an incredibly important occupation that all nations depend on to run, and considering his status as a bit of a British transportation expert, who else would the lorry drivers rather have representing them than Clarkson?
9. Volkswagen advertising executive
Volkswagen AG has a plan to become the largest auto manufacturer in the world, and it’s doing a great job of building interesting, attractive vehicles. There’s more to selling the most cars than simply building great products, though. A company needs to effectively communicate the qualities of its cars to potential customers. While Volkswagen has made major improvements over the last several years, perhaps a change of advertising strategy might be in store. Seasoned automotive experts who overflow with creative ideas don’t become available that often, so Volkswagen should see Clarkson’s firing as the opportunity that it is.
10. Corporate sensitivity trainer
If there’s one thing that corporations don’t need, it’s more lawsuits. While accidents happen and are difficult to eliminate entirely, a lot of lawsuits are avoidable. Part of that is making sure that employees understand the best ways to speak to each other and how to avoid upsetting their fellow employees.
To educate their employees about these sorts of things, employers often hire an outside consultant to spend a day or two teaching a class on sensitivity. The problem with these classes is that they’re dreadfully boring and easy to fall asleep in. Clarkson, on the other hand, is the opposite of boring. As a professional entertainer, he knows how to play to an audience and should be at top of any corporation’s list of people to teach sensitivity training.
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