7 New Cars We’d Like to See, Rendered With Microsoft Paint
Having just wrapped up the New York Auto Show, we’ve seen all kinds of concepts. Some were complete surprises, like the next generation Honda Civic and the Lincoln Continental concept. Others had already been seen, like the Ford Focus RS. Still others had essentially already been leaked prior to the show, like the Cadillac CT6. Overall, it was a very cool show with some very cool cars.
Automakers have been doing some pretty exciting things over the last few years, but inevitably, we here at Autos Cheat Sheet got to talking about some concepts that we would have liked to have seen. Convinced I could render my own concepts and perhaps give automakers a bit of inspiration for the future, I took to the only photo editor that anyone would ever need and the only one I am able to use: Microsoft Paint.
1. Ford Taurus Ranchero
While everybody else is out there rushing to produce mid-size trucks that are all still quite large, Ford is mysteriously keeping its Ranger out of America. Could it be because Ford understands that mid-size trucks aren’t small enough, and in order to build a true small truck, it needs to be more car-sized? While the Mustang would certainly be a fun way to revive the Ranchero, what if Ford used the Taurus instead? I think it’s got potential.
The Taurus has a trunk that’s big enough for at least two dead bodies. Who wants to put bodies in the trunk though? You can’t hose that out. That’s how you get mildew. You can, however, hose out a truck bed. Get rid of the back seat and the trunk in the Taurus, replace it with a truck bed, and you’d have the perfect vehicle for comfortably and efficiently transporting any smelly, dirty cargo that you want. Hopefully the cargo you’d be hauling wouldn’t be dead bodies because murder is wrong, but you get the point. A Ford Taurus Ranchero would be super practical.
2. Tesla Model S Coupe
Everybody loves the Tesla Model S. They love the all-wheel-drive P85D even more. While we all wait on the Model X and the Model 3, why not just lop two doors off of the Model S and make it a coupe? Just make the front door longer, like I did, and it ends up looking surprisingly good. The sedan may still be more popular, but the Model S was born to be a coupe.
Plus, think about how much money Tesla would make by selling the exact same product for more money just because it has fewer doors. It would be less practical, but it would be more exclusive, and even though it would literally look no different, I guarantee Elon Musk could sell it for at least $15,000, if not $20,000 more than the sedan version. Who’s concerned about cash flow now?
3. Kia Optima inspired by Sportspace
The Kia Sportspace concept was awesome. It may have been a station wagon, but it was the kind of station wagon that was so good looking, even people who don’t like station wagons wanted to own one. We all assumed that the 2016 Kia Optima would look like a sedan version of the Sportspace, but sadly, reality was a lot less groundbreaking. It’s too bad though, because the Sportspace would have made for an extremely attractive Optima sedan.
Even if Derek Zoolander was right, and there really is more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking, would it really be so wrong in this case? Yeah, Porsche has been doing the whole “barely evolving exterior design” thing since like 1883, but the Kia Optima isn’t a Porsche 911. Give me a sexy Sportspace sedan, Kia, and maybe even give it to me with an Audi A7-esque liftgate for a trunk. Do it. Just do it.
4. Ford Broncotor
Like the Ranchero, it would be awesome to see Ford bring back the Bronco as well. As awesome as a Bronco revival would be, it would have to be more than just an SUV with the blue oval on the front. That’s why I say it should be based on Ford’s amazing Raptor. Off-road capable? Ridiculously cool looking? You know you could see it. There are only so many people who can justify buying a Raptor, but there are certainly a lot more who would like to own one.
Maybe some of those people could be persuaded to part with their money if Ford offered a version of the Raptor that was a basic, two-door SUV. Maybe they would be even more inclined to do so if that version had a name that reminded them of a dinosaur. Deep down inside, everybody wants to be a T-Rex. In the Broncotor, you could relive that childhood dream.
5. Subaru Outback Moab Edition
Subaru has a great reputation with the outdoor adventure community. Its cars are great to drive, handle well off-road, and are equipped with an excellent all-wheel-drive system. Head into the North East or out West, and they are almost ubiquitous. Why doesn’t Subaru take a page out of Ford or Jeep’s book and build a version of the Outback that can tackle nearly any terrain?
Finally, you’d have a Subaru that could handle Moab when your bros want to know if you’re going to Moab, bro. When you pulled into the parking lot at Whole Foods though, no one would give you dirty looks for murdering the planet like they would if you drove a tricked out Cherokee. After all, it’s still a Subaru. You’re still a good guy. You’re just a Subaru-driving good guy who happens to love going really far off-road.
6. Mclaren 570S Shooting Brake
The Mclaren 570S is stunning. There’s really no way around that statement. Mclarens in general are the kind of good looking that stops non-car people in their tracks and forces them to take pictures. From the performance side of things, it’s lighter than a Porsche 911 Turbo and comes with 562 horsepower. Improving on that kind of performance would be difficult, but do you know what would be easy? Sticking a hatch on the back of the 570S and making the first Mclaren shooting brake.
Throw some rear-facing jump seats in there, and you could have room for a family of four to hit the race track any time they want. The engine might heat up the rear compartment a bit more than your groceries or small children would like, but you can always put those in the front. Well, you can’t put children in the front. Driving children around in a trunk is bad news bears. That’s how you get your Mclaren taken away. A shooting brake would still be cool though.
7. Ford F-150 Cabriolet
Nissan showed that it could be done with the Murano CrossCabriolet, so it’s only a matter of time before one of the Big Three decides that a convertible pickup truck needs to happen. Why not Ford? I’m actually impressed with how good this F-150 Cabriolet looks because I expected it to be hideous. Sure, there would be engineering challenges, but any company that can figure out how to justify producing a stock truck that can drive through the desert at over 100 miles per hour can figure out how to turn the F-150 into a cabriolet.
After all, people have been clamoring for a Wrangler pickup truck for years. Why not just make the F-150 more Wrangler-like? Drop the top, roll the windows down, turn the radio up, and just cruise. Ford could probably even get Florida Georgia Line to do a commercial for it. It’s only a matter of time before they end up shilling the Chevrolet Cruze, so Ford better get the F-150 Cabrio going before it’s too late.
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