15 of the Worst and Most Ridiculous Celebrity Recipes in America

You’ve seen it before — a celebrated celebrity chef’s recipe epically fails, leaving America confused as to why we’ve been copying their Gumbo recipe in the first place.

The line has blurred between celebrity chef and celebrity turned cookbook entrepreneur over the last few years. Sure, Gwenyth Paltrow proved herself (to some) with Goop, but we can’t all master pumpkin risotto. These next 15 celebrities and celebrity chefs have brought us some of the most amateur cookbooks and ridiculously simple recipes to date, with one honorable mention worth reading about (page 15).

Al Roker’s Big Bad Book of Barbeque

Al-Roker-BBQ cookbook

He has quite a few books. | Amazon

Back in 2002, before he reported from inside Hurricane Wilma, Roker spread his love of barbeque nationwide. The weatherman, actor, and author actually published a number of books, including a murder mystery he wrote about a celebrity chef turned amateur detective.

His “barbeque book” contains 100 recipes and covers grilling basics. The book currently sells for an average of $2 on Amazon. Publisher’s Weekly called the attempt “medium-sized and mediocre,” and notes contradicting grilling advice that Roker gives. “In his Five Rules for grilling, he warns not to move meat around with a fork lest the juices run out. Yet, for one of his signature dishes, Steaks As Big As Your Head, he advises making several small cuts in the meat to press garlic into.”

Next: This famous chef has a ridiculously simple recipe.

Guy Fieri’s spicy ketchup

Guy Fieri at the 2016 Food Network & Cooking Channel

Calling it a recipe is a stretch. | Dylan Rives/Stringer/Getty Images

Fieri may be the face of the Food Network, but even he can dish out a ridiculously unnecessary recipe every once in a while. According to Paste Magazine, Fieri’s “grease and fat-laden recipes” don’t translate to this incredibly simple ketchup “recipe.” The spicy ketchup combines store-bought ketchup and spices. We’d recommend this significantly more exhaustive recipe for his Worcestershire Tomato Ketchup as the mark of the Fieri we know.

Next: The reality star that cashed in on her kids with a cookbook.

Kate Gosselin’s cookbook ‘Love Is in the Mix’

Kate-Gosselin Cookbook

More opportunities to cash in on her kids. | Barnes & Noble

If Kate and her husband, Ryan, didn’t learn the first time around that cashing in on their eight children was a bad idea, Gosselin hopefully learned amidst the fail of her cookbook Love Is in the Mix. The 2013 book “shares the Gosselin family’s favorite recipes for every day and entertaining, a very important ingredient when creating special family time.”

Those family recipes include things like pizza meatballs, a “K8 Salad,” and “edible dough for play.” Barnes and Noble readers reviewed the book a 2.7/5 on average and complained, among other things, that “Many of the food photos do not match the recipes and are completely misleading.”

Next: If the main ingredient is butter, we aren’t interested.

Anthony Bourdain’s Carrot Vichy

Anthony Bourdain

It’s simple to say the least. | Angela Weiss/AFP/Getty Images

For all of his bad-mouthing on a certain other chef’s (who also made the list) bad-for-you recipes, Bourdain has an extremely simple, butter-based recipe of his own: Carrot Vichy.

The recipe, designed to serve 10, has three simple ingredients. Slice five pounds of carrots, add in two cups of butter and three cups of sugar and cook until the carrots are tender.

Next: The “kitchen kookbook kollection” continues…

Kris Jenner invites you into her kitchen

Kris-Jenner cookbook

Kris is probably not cooking her own meals. | Amazon

In the Kitchen with Kris: A Kollection of Kardashian-Jenner Family Favorites surfaced in 2014  as another example of how “America’s favorite momager” is trying to take over the world. Forty-seven percent of Amazon reviewers gave the book one star, and one savage reviewer commented, “Okay, So you figure ‘How bad could it be?’ Let me tell you. Eat the book itself, it will taste better than the recipes within.”

Hey, who are we to tell Jenner what her calling is? As she said in the book, “Some people paint, others make music and dance, I make table settings. That’s my way of expressing my artistic and creative side.”

Next: We expected more out of Martha Stewart.

Martha Stewart’s marshmallow snowflakes

Martha Stewart attends the AOL Build Speaker Series

Oh, Martha. | Theo Wargo/Getty Images

According to Martha Stewart’s website, this recipe only has one simple step: Make a batch of marshmallow snowflakes. Interesting.

“This is more of an issue with bad web editing than bed recipe writing, but no recipe or.. craft.. plan.. thing, should ever start with what basically is ‘Step 1, Just make that thing that you want to make, don’t worry about it,'” OC Weekly stated. We’re curious how this recipe made the cut.

Next: Same goes for Paula Deen.

Paula Deen’s English peas

Paula Deen is crouched down holding a plate of food.

Canned peas and butter is all you need apparently. | Aaron Davidson/Getty Images

Maybe we shouldn’t be surprised — it is the Queen of Comfort Food, after all — but a two-ingredient recipe for peas where the other ingredient is butter seems a bit ridiculous for a chef who makes a cool 5 million on average off of her cookbooks alone.

The recipe doesn’t even call for fresh peas and instructs the reader to use canned peas. Also, as a fan points out, upon making the recipe, their English peas didn’t “magically become the white sauce with scallions that the picture so helpfully illustrates.”

Next: This famous celeb usually wows us, but this recipe was a few slices of cheese too much.

Chrissy Teigen’s tuna melt

Homemade tuna melt sandwich on rural table

That’s a lot of cheese on one sandwich. | istetiana/iStock/Getty Images

The model, Lip-Sync Battle cohost, and bestselling cookbook author still makes the list for her Super Tuna Melt. The recipe measures 2 tablespoons of butter, 6 slices of cheese, and a quarter cup of mayo — per sandwich.

Next: We liked this rapper’s album, but didn’t need a cookbook to go along with it.

2 Chainz ‘Garlicky Green Beans’

Spicy haricot vert green beans in a bowl.

Who knew 2 Chainz was such a chef? | JB325/iStock/Getty Images

#Meal Time in conjunction with his sophomore album, B.O.A.T.S. II: Me Time (Based On A TRUE Story 2). The cookbook came with a disclaimer: “Use of these recipes is at your own risk. UMG (Universal Music Group) is not responsible for the outcome of any recipe.”

His Garlicky Green Beans is the recipe in question. One reviewer praised 2 Chainz for his ridiculous, albeit detailed instructions. “Without them [the instructions], you would never know you had to invite Fergie over to endlessly scroll through Netflix before you start prepping your garlic green beans.”

Next: The acclaimed chef that has a microwaveable recipe.

Rachel Ray’s ‘Late Night Bacon’

fried bacon

You probably have to be drunk to enjoy microwaved bacon. | iStock/Getty Images

We all know late night food usually entails sloppily combining whatever you find in your pantry and fridge and throwing it in the microwave. When you hear about a Rachel Ray late-night recipe, you’d assume it’s at least be cooked in the oven.

You’d be wrong. The instructions go as follows: Grab 8 slices of bacon. Don’t overlap the pieces. Microwave on high for 4 to 6 minutes. We don’t expect to see this recipe in her next cookbook.

Next: The “soulful” cookbook that went out of print.

Boy George

Boy-George-cookbook

Who was even brave enough to pick this up? | Barnes & Noble

The “Karma Chameleon himself”, Boy George, is a fan of the macrobiotic diet, a fad diet that features food drawn from Zen Buddhism. In 2001 he published a cookbook with the help of his “macrobiotic mentor,” Dragana Brown, called Karma Cookbook: Great Tasting Dishes to Nourish Your Body and Feed Your Soul.

The cookbook, which is now out of print, featured recipes like Sizzling Soba, Watercress and Shiitake Salad, and Crunchy Filo Parcels (whatever those are). The book received mixed reviews, with one disgruntled customer calling it a “piece of useless fluff,” noting that a few recipes included vegetables that didn’t align with a real macrobiotic diet.

Next: This recipe is as horrific as it sounds.

Nigella Lawson’s Blood and Guts Potatoes

Chef Nigella Lawson

Nigella, please explain. | ShowbizIreland/Getty Images

If the name ‘blood and guts potatoes’ didn’t make your stomach churn, the recipe itself will: Baked potatoes combined with ketchup and cheese.

We’ll opt for her chocolate Guinness cake, instead.

Next: Just because a band stays together, doesn’t mean they should cook together.

Smash Mouth

Smash-Mouth cookbook

Smash Mouth should probably stick to writing songs. | Amazon

The band famous for hits like “All Star” and “Walkin’ on the Sun” decided to take their musical talents and create a “rock ‘n’ roll cookbook” centered around their “recipes from the road.” Did we mention it’s almost 400 pages long?

The cookbook received an extremely colorful review from one disappointed customer. “… was purchased for me ironically by a friend. I opened it once, but instead of pages, it just had a toothless, gaping maw that screamed wordlessly without ceasing. It fired an arcane beam at my oven, which in turn opened a portal to a hellish painscape [sic] that drew me in, scraped out my eyes, packed the cavities with jalapeños and then drowned me in The Lake of Donkey Sauce.” Sounds like Smash Mouth should have stuck to the stage instead of venturing into the kitchen.

Next: One of the most ridiculously simple recipes of all time.

Ellie Krieger’s dark chocolate ‘snack’

Dark chocolate with mint sprinkled with cocoa powder on a wooden surface

The easiest recipe you’ll ever ‘make.’ | iStock.com/OlgaLepeshkina

This “recipe” courtesy of Ellie Krieger is featured on the Food Network’s website. The dish, aptly titled Dark Chocolate as a Snack, serves one and is rated easy: Amateur cooks, you can probably handle this. In fact, it only calls for one ingredient: One ounce of dark chocolate.

Next: Honorable mention for a pretty successful celebrity cookbook.

Honorable mention: Olivia Newton-John’s Livwise cookbook

Olivia-Newton-John-cookbook

Amazon reviewers love it, so who are we to argue. | Amazon

In 2012, the Grease star published a cookbook “assembled using Olivia’s own experience in the kitchen,” called Livwise: Easy Recipes for a Healthy, Happy Life. The cookbook was a compilation of super healthy recipes including carrot salad and cauliflower puree.

While it’s made a few lists as a terrible celebrity cookbook, Amazon reviewers love it. It received an average of 4.2 out of 5 stars and pleased customers called it “useable and practical.”

Read more: You’ll Never Believe the Biggest Celebrity Chef Scandals of All Time

Follow The Cheat Sheet on Facebook!