Here Are 7 Reliable Ways To Tell If Someone’s Cheating On You
As bad a feeling as it might be to suspect someone of being unfaithful, once those feelings arise, you can’t keep them out of your head. While confrontation may be the most effective way of determining the answer once and for all, a false accusation could cripple a relationship almost as badly as infidelity could. And just because you bring the issue up with your significant other doesn’t mean you’ll get your definitive answer.
So try one of these seven tested methods of getting to the truth. It’s the only way that sinking feeling in your stomach will go away.
Ask a Friend
Strangely, science has shown that other people (outside, uninvolved parties) have the uncanny ability to sense distress in others’ relationships. This is especially true if the outside parties are witnessing the couple try to work together to complete a task.
Says one of the researchers behind a BYU study on this phenomenon, “People make remarkably accurate judgments about others in a variety of situations after just a brief exposure to their behavior.”
Think About It While You’re Occupied or Doing Something Else
While humans are generally pretty bad when it comes to judging character, the shortcomings are limited to our conscious judgment. If we’re pre-occupied and not overthinking the issue, we tend to be a lot more reliable and insightful.
This study shows that people were better at determining if they were being lied to if they spent time thinking about something other than that specific question. So this is an instance when intense focus DOESN’T pay off, so try to get your mind off of it for a bit.
Pay Attention to Their Word Choice
A psychology professor at SMU found that when people are lying or hiding a secret, they tend to utilize and/or avoid certain words. In his research, Dr. James Pennebaker found that liars are less likely to use:
- First-person words like “I,” “me,” or “my”
- Cognitive words like “realize” or “think”
- Words that exclude things, like “but” or “except”
They tended to rely more on:
- Negative or spiteful words like “hate” or “anger”
- Motion-based language such as “walk,” “run,” or “move”
Notice the Sound of the Their Voice
It turns out that men with lower voices tend to have more testosterone, and men with more testosterone have been found to be more likely to be unfaithful. Now, does this mean that a man with a low voice is definitely going to cheat on you? Of course not. But there’s a correlation to take into account. Unfortunately, no such study has been done on a woman’s propensity to cheat.
Monitor Their Social Media Use
Research suggests that people who spend more time than normal on Twitter and Facebook are more likely to have “social media-related conflict,” which can lead to breakup and divorce. This includes cheating. The study of 600 subjects found that people who used social media for more than one hour a day were more likely to cheat on or argue with their significant other.
Keep an Eye on Changes in Behavior
It turns out that changes in regular lifestyle choices (food, listening patterns, response to challenges) can be indicative of duplicitous behavior such as cheating. People tend to make these changes when they feel nervous and tense…like when they lie about something. This comes from Lillian Glass, who analyzes behaviors for the FBI.
Note Silences, Personal Attacks, or Repeating Questions
Glass also says that when people lie, they tend to get very silent afterward. They also will go on a personal attack to avoid a direct question. And finally, they will often repeat the question asked of them in order to buy more time to craft a lie that’s believable. So if any of these behaviors arise, be on the lookout.