For some it’s a Friday night tradition — skip the cooking and order a fresh, hot pizza. In fact, Americans spend a staggering $10 billion dollars on pizza delivery per year. But have you ever stopped to wonder what your pizza delivery person is really thinking?
Delivering pizza isn’t the most glamorous job. Most of the time pizza delivery people are high school or college kids just trying to make a few bucks after school, but some may even be trying to make a more substantial living. They sacrifice their evenings and weekends to hand-deliver your dinner so you can cook less and enjoy life more. Here are all the reasons they might secretly hate you — and how to fix them.
1. You don’t tip well
Like other servers, pizza delivery people don’t make anywhere close to minimum wage and rely on tips to make up the difference. While they do earn a slightly higher hourly rate compared to waiters, they’re also dealing with fewer customers with smaller checks. In other words … they’re counting on that tip.
They may get a small portion of the delivery fee that the restaurant charges, but they don’t get to keep all of it. You should always tip your delivery person about 10-15% of the bill, or more for extraordinary service.
Next: Stop putting your phone on silent.
2. You don’t answer your phone
There’s a reason why you always have to give your phone number when you’re ordering. Your delivery person may need to use it if the person taking down your address wrote a “1” instead of a “7” and the driver can’t find where you live. And who would you blame if the driver took over an hour to find your house and your order arrived cold?
When you order pizza, keep your phone on hand and your ringer volume loud just in case.
Next: Don’t forget pertinent information.
3. You didn’t give enough information
If you’re ordering pizza at work, be sure to give your first and last name along with instructions for dropoff. If you live in a gated community, be clear about the gate code. If you live at the end of an unmarked road in the middle of the woods … maybe just go pick up your pizza instead.
Next: Make it clear that somebody’s home.
4. You didn’t turn on the porch light
Common courtesy dictates that if you know you have company coming, you make it a little easier to find your house. Turn on the porch light so that your pizza delivery person can easily find where he or she is going. Bonus: the faster they find your house, the hotter your pizza will be when it arrives.
Next: Keep Fido far away.
5. You let the dogs out
Even if your dog is incredibly friendly and sweet, your pizza delivery person may not agree (or may be allergic). Also, it’s fairly difficult to navigate to the front door while balancing a pizza box when there’s an excited dog jumping up and down.
When you know pizza is on the way, keep your pup out of the front yard.
Next: Keep the right denominations of cash on hand.
6. You pay in large bills — or in coins
Look, you’re entitled to use any kind of money you want to pay for your pizza, but a delivery person doesn’t have time to sit there counting out nickels and pennies (and it’s very rude to leave a tip that way). If you don’t have enough cash for pizza, then don’t order any.
The same goes for $50 and $100 bills if you have a small order. Pizza delivery people don’t carry a whole lot of cash on them for fear of getting robbed. Break your big bills, or pay by credit card over the phone when you place your order.
Next: Not everyone thinks your kid is cute.
7. You let your kid answer the door and/or pay for the food
Of course your children are adorable … to you. But usually, a pizza delivery person is in a pretty big hurry to get back to the shop and pick up more orders.
If you want to teach your kids responsibility, have them watch you conduct a quick and friendly transaction with the delivery guy. They’ll still retain the lesson.
Next: Keep an eye on the time.
8. You place an order right before closing
While not technically forbidden some places, this is definitely a jerk move. Don’t call for delivery at 10:55 when the pizza place closes at 11. Remember, they’ll still have to make the pizza and drive it out to wherever you are, and all for a few measly bucks.
Next: Know what you’re getting before you dial.
9. You’re not ready to order
Especially if you’re calling during peak times, the person taking your order probably has 10 other hungry people on hold and doesn’t have time to debate the merits of anchovies with you for 20 minutes.
It’s pizza. Look at the menu online ahead of time, or just order what you usually order. If you need time to stare at the menu and decide, consider driving down to the restaurant instead of choosing delivery.
Next: Put some clothes on.
10. You answer the door in a towel
This is awkward for everyone. Don’t do it.
Next: Be realistic about your expectations.
11. You’re impatient
It takes around 20 minutes for raw dough to transform into a hot, cheesy, fully baked pizza and then the driver has to load up his or her car and drive all the way from the restaurant to your house. If you’re calling on a Friday or Saturday night, or on the day of a big football game, there could be dozens of pending orders at the same time as yours.
Be patient, and remember that a delayed order isn’t usually your delivery person’s fault.
Next: They’ll remember you for all the wrong reasons.
12. You consistently give crappy tips
Newsflash: if you order from the same pizza place every week, you’re bound to have the same driver multiple times. This bodes well for them remembering which house is yours — but it’s not great if you’re a terrible tipper.
Yes, they notice if you’re consistently generous or stingy. And yes, the generous people may get rewarded with a free order of garlic knots, while the stingy people might find their pizza arrives a few minutes late each time.
Next: Be prompt.
13. You make him or her wait around forever
If you know a pizza is coming, don’t head out and mow the lawn or run a bubble bath. Answer the door promptly so your delivery person can be on their way.
Next: The pizza guy is not your friend.
14. You ask for favors
Some pizza delivery guys have tales of people who wanted help moving furniture along with their food. Remember, your pizza person is on the clock and in a hurry to make it their next address. Don’t assume they have time to chat with you or help you perform chores around the house.
Next: Be kind.
15. You’re rude or disrespectful
At the end of the day, your pizza delivery person is just another person trying to make a living. Be polite, be courteous, and tip well. An ounce of kindness is just good karma.
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