Never Say These Stupid Things to a Police Officer

If you have ever been pulled over for a traffic violation, you know how nervous you can get. Some people have said some pretty stupid things in the moment. Here are the worst things you can say to a cop, whether you were speeding or something more serious.

1. Never admit to having drugs

lines of cocaine, a razor blade, and a dollar

If you have it, do not tell the police officer you do. | madsci/iStock/Getty Images

When Mjtoomey422’s dad pulled someone over for a missed stop sign, he did not expect the answer he got. He asked the driver if he knew why he got pulled over. The gentleman responded, “Yeah, it’s because of all the cocaine in the trunk.” The officer arrested him on the spot.

Next: This might not be your best move.

2. They did not expect that speeding excuse

Winding road in Wisconsin

The police officer probably does not care about the length of your drive. | Biitli/iStock.com

While people disagree over whether to tell police officers you knew your speed, this answer caught one off guard. When Redditor AMultitudeofPandas got stopped going 102 on the interstate, they panicked. The officer asked why the speed. Their answer? “We have a long drive ahead of us.”

Next: We understand nerves, but this one takes the cake.

3. If you get nervous, don’t make this mistake

Young man handing over identification during a police stop

If a police officer pulls you over, do not say this. | bluegame/iStock/Getty Images

Reddit user Mermaid_quesadilla got a case of the jitters when they got pulled over for speeding. When asked why they were driving 90, they admitted, “I’m nervous about getting pulled over and I want to go home.” Naturally, the cop asked why drive 90 if you fear getting pulled over. Good point, officer.

Next: The following driver basically proved their intoxication.

4. Do not ask the cop to do this

Man Taking Alcohol Test

The police officer did not expect this. | AndreyPopov/iStock/Getty Images

After Matthotlips pulled a guy over on suspicion of drunk driving, the driver really solidified his suspicions. The officer did not have a breathalyzer at the time, but the drunk driver mistook his radio for one. He begged the cop to let him “have a go” at the radio, and the officer finally let him blow into the radio antenna. Unsurprisingly, he failed by a wide margin.

Next: You will not believe this woman’s request.

5. It was obviously her first robbery

Yellow School Bus from the back as children get in

She dropped her kid off at school after doing what? | Steven_Kriemadis/iStock/Getty Images

School security officers hear some zany requests, but this one went above and beyond. At Bullhorn_Bigass’s school, a parent drove up to drop her child off, rolled down the window, and said something odd. “If you get a call about a break-in on Smith Street, don’t worry about it, it was just me,” she said. She rolled the window back up and drove away. The school security officer ran after her shouting, “Excuse me, ma’am, I need to talk to you!”

Next: This is not your best look when getting tested for drunk driving.

6. Whatever you do, keep your mouth shut during this test

 Officer Kevin Millan from the City of Miami Beach police department conducts a field sobriety test at a DUI traffic checkpoint December 15, 2006 in Miami, Florida. According to police, the woman failed a breathalyzer test by blowing into the device and receiving two readings one at .190 the other .183, which is twice the legal limit in Florida. The city of Miami, with the help of other police departments, will be conducting saturation patrols and setting up checkpoints during the holiday period looking to apprehend drivers for impaired driving and other traffic violations.

When a police officer administers this test, do not use this excuse. | Joe Raedle/Getty Images

Reddit user Gnugnus has some advice for people who get asked to take sobriety tests. Do not say, “I couldn’t do this if I were sober!” He advised, You can tell them you have bad balance, a bad knee, don’t know how to count, can’t understand commands because you never went to school, but don’t use the excuse that you’re not sober!” We’re amazed that even needs to be said.

Next: Do yourself a favor and cooperate, if this happens.

7. No, you cannot outrun the cops

shot of runner's shoes

No matter how fit you feel, do not try to outrun the police. | iStock.com/Ivanko_Brnjakovic

Gnugnus also advised those who find themselves getting questioned to just cooperate with the authorities. “When you run, fight, spit, or endanger a cop or the public in any way while you’re getting arrested, you get more crimes added on to your first one,” they pointed out. “Now your misdemeanor has turned into a felony because, for some reason, you thought you would be the only person ever to outrun a cop.” Just let the process play out, folks.

Next: This ingenious answer really went the right way.

8. Timing is everything, for this guy

police body camera

The police officer had a sense of humor about this, at least. | Andrew Burton/Getty Images

When Redditor WombatInAThong pulled over a young man, he smelled marijuana smoke wafting out of the car. The nervous driver said he did not have anything to drink, and the cop could tell he had not smoked either. “I asked him if he had any drugs in the car. He responds, ‘Not anymore’” Lucky for him, the officer gave him some advice instead of a ticket: If you’ve done something stupid, give one word answers and don’t admit to anything.

Next: Anyone who has ever used a fake ID knows this one.

9. If you must use a fake ID, do not do this

Shot of a young driver and a policeman checking his driving licence

Do not use this line when a police officer asks for your license. | KatarzynaBialasiewicz/iStock/Getty Images

When Nathanmann11’s friend got pulled over, he tried to pull a fast one. He handed the officer an identification card, and the cop asked about its authenticity. He responded, “I’m not sure. Which state did I give you?” That got him arrested pretty quickly.

Next: For the last time, do not run.

10. If you get arrested, do not do what this guy did

Teenage boy (16-17) being arrested

If a police officer tells you to stop, you should do it. | Doug Menuez/iStock/Getty Images

Redditor eDgAR- knew a kid in high school that tried to make a bad joke when he got arrested. He got out of the car and ran. About a block down, he turned, put his hands up, and yelled “Psych!” That kid regretted his poorly timed humor when the police promptly arrested him. Pro tip: This is no time to be funny.

Next: If you drive drunk and get lost, do not try this one.

11. At least he realized his mistake

a man staring into a glass of brown alcohol

Do not drink and drive, and definitely do not take this next step. | OcusFocus/iStock/Getty Images Plus

This police officer’s shift got a lot more interesting, one night. While he sat in a marked, parked police cruiser, a car pulled up next to him. “I rolled down my window and he drunkenly stated he was looking for his friend. I could immediately smell the alcohol and asked if he had been drinking,” the cop relayed. “He paused, looked away, then looked back at me and said ‘This was a bad idea.’” The driver tried to escape, but of course, the redditor pulled him over immediately. He then got out of the driver’s side, tossed the cop the keys, and said, “I wasn’t driving.” You can imagine how that went for him.

Next: If a cop finds this in your bag, leave it there.

12. She chose the wrong property to claim

Blue police light on top of a police car at night.

If a police officer finds your illegal property, let him take it. | Chalabala/iStock/Getty Images

An intoxicated girl wandered into a convenience store where Reddit user Mstarrbrannigan worked and he called the cops. When she refused to give her name, the police dug through her purse looking for ID. One pulled out a used glass pipe, then set it aside. When she noticed, she angrily said, “Hey, that’s mine!”

Next: This guy thought he could save everyone some time.

13. We’ll take ‘what not to say’ for 500

Florida Highway Patrol trooper Raymond Addison checks the eyes of a driver at a DUI traffic checkpoint June 4, 2007 in Miami, Florida. Several law enforcement agencies were conducting the checkpoint and conducting saturation patrols to help save lives during the 4th of July holiday. The National Safety Council has rated the July 4th holdiay as one of most lethal holidays for drivers, with alcohol factoring into nearly half of all motor vehicle deaths.

This guy really did not want to take those roadside tests. | Joe Raedle/Getty Images

A friend of Reddit user GirlWhoWrites2 got pulled over for driving while intoxicated. He knew the gig was up, but did not want to take field sobriety tests. When asked to step out of the car, he had an unusual reply. “I’m not gonna make an a**hole out of myself on the side of the road,” he told the officer. “Just cuff me in the front so I can finish my smoke, OK?”

Next: This girl misunderstood the question.

14. That was not an offer, lady

police car, "peace" on side

The police officer did not expect this answer to his question. | Jim Watson/AFP/Getty Images

Redditor CortexVortex1 obviously raised a polite kid. When her daughter got pulled over, the officer asked, “Anything to drink tonight?” The girl answered, “No thanks, I’m fine.”

Next: Some people just beg to get caught.

15. This robber really put his foot in his mouth

Bank Robber

After this robber did his dirty work, he should have shut up. | Tagstock1/iStock/Getty Images

When Uz2bFiveO arrested a suspect of a robbery, he asked how the police knew who to bring in. The officer told him a witness had identified him. The man answered, “There is no way she saw me, I grabbed her from behind!” Busted.

Next: If you have a gun, do not tell the police this next thing.

16. Do not add one crime to another

Handgun

This man should have quit while he was sort of ahead. | Cas Photography/iStock/Getty Images

When Redditor Magicskewlbus got into a foot chase with a suspect, he got more than he bargained for. While frisking him for weapons, he found a gun in his waistband. The suspect said, “That’s not mine; it’s stolen.” When the officer gave him a look, he continued, “I should probably stop talking now.” Yes, you probably should.

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