Most of us have done it. You go to a movie and that popcorn smells great, but you have to save money. So you stick a snack in your bag, and pray the ticket-taker doesn’t check. Do they really care, though?
“It’s the blatant leaving that really Juniors my Mint,” a former employee wrote for Slate. “Theaters prefer that customers buy from their concession stands … yet moviegoers still leave their rule-flouting detritus in the cup holders and aisles.” Here are the most insane things people have snuck in (and sometimes left there) including one we still can’t figure out (page 15).
15. A two-scoop ice cream cone
One Twitter user snuck in a two-scoop ice cream cone under his jacket. You know, like those “wanna buy a watch?” hustlers from old movies. That just sounds like a sticky-fingered situation waiting to happen. While we can’t condone sneaking in ice cream, some theaters do sell it on-site. Instead, maybe try choosing a theater that can serve you a frosty treat for the movie. It won’t melt by the time the previews have finished, and you won’t have to pack a wet nap for the ride home.
Next: Someone had a birthday at the following theater.
14. Cupcakes and Fireball whiskey
A manager at the State Theatre in Ann Arbor, Michigan told Slate he often finds Starbucks cups and Chipotle-branded trash during cleanup. Dan Biegner, a projectionist at Amherst Cinema said he also found cupcakes and Fireball whiskey. “Someone was having a birthday party, but I can’t tell if that’s a good or a bad one,” he joked. We think it sounds pretty great, even if we can’t imagine drinking a whole bottle of liquor in the time it takes for a movie to wrap.
Next: Some theaters now also sell alcohol, so you don’t have to do this.
13. A box of wine
Dillon Cole, a projectionist and manager at the Lyric in Fort Collins, Colorado, told Slate he once found a discarded box of Franzia wine. Some theaters, especially independent ones, do sell alcohol so fans can get a buzz on with their flick. Try one of those theaters next time, or at least take the box with you when you leave, as well. We have to admit, we get less of a shock out of the box of wine itself than the fact that someone could finish a whole one before the credits.
Next: The following stinky snack should definitely have stayed home.
12. Seafood salad — and they left the leftovers
Another employee at Amherst Cinema, Claire Crews, told Slate that she found a half-pint container of seafood salad under the seats. Now, just imagine you bought a ticket to a movie and someone rolled in with seafood. Could you deal with sitting next to that smell for upwards of two hours? That offends us even worse than microwaving fish in the office kitchen. We can’t tell you how to live, but don’t bring fish to a theater.
Next: OK, we kind of understand the following issue.
11. A whole pound of uncooked rice
“I don’t [sneak food in] anymore, because I know what a pain in the butt it can be for people,” theater employee Julie Brooks told Slate. She should know, after cleaning up a whole pound of dry rice after The Rocky Horror Picture Show. People sometimes throw rice during the wedding scene, but that theater also explicitly banned it. Don’t be that guy, folks. Just don’t.
Next: The following girls impress us with their ingenuity.
10. Two entire watermelons
Hellogiggles reports that two women brought an entire watermelon into a movie theater and ate it with a spoon. They strapped it to their bodies, because you can’t just carry a watermelon past security. These ladies get extra points for creativity, but we have to ask. Couldn’t you just cut it up and put it in a baggie like the rest of us?
Next: How big of a bag did you use for this next one?
9. The Cheesecake Factory meals
One Twitter user snuck pints of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and dinner from The Cheesecake Factory into the movie theater with her. First of all, how many pints do we have here? And how do you keep them cold? Second of all, does she mean a meal or a cheesecake slice? A cheesecake slice, we can understand. But those meals also have some weight to them.
Next: This movie snack would also make you feel right at home.
8. A family-size bag of Doritos and queso
This movie-goer decided she wanted the same snack access we all enjoy from the comfort of our own couches. So, since she couldn’t bring the couch to the movie, at least she grabbed the Doritos and cheese dip. If theaters also served family sized bags, we wouldn’t have to do this.
Next: This next comfort food probably tastes great with a nostalgic flick.
7. Chicken noodle soup
Movie theaters don’t generally serve soup for a reason. Many of us just don’t have the coordination to eat something with broth in the dark, and also couldn’t carry it up those stairs without incident. But this hero among men decided to ignore that, and brought chicken noodle soup into the theater. We’d like it even better with an old movie from our childhoods, for maximum effect.
Next: We don’t think the ticket-taker paid attention in the following instance.
6. An entire pizza still in the box
Not all of us come into the world with the gift of observation skills. After seeing this carefully constructed movie-going costume, we believe the ticket-taker also did not. Once he made it inside the theater, did he then take off his shirt to eat his pie? How did he fit in on his lap in those tight theater seats? We also have a lot of questions about this choice.
Next: The following choice also seems hard to eat in the dark.
5. Sushi or teriyaki and a tiny cake
We totally understand this person’s rationale. While she likes sneaking sushi or teriyaki into the theater, dessert really makes it for this person. Ashley Lee tweeted, “sometimes you just want to watch an action movie on the big screen while eating a tiny cake.” We want that too, Ashley. But we don’t trust ourselves to do so without getting frosting everywhere, either. That also explains why we stick to popcorn.
Next: This next choice sounded pretty messy, as well.
4. One whole rotisserie chicken
Twitter user Oliver Sachgau once snuck an entire rotisserie chicken into a movie theater and subsequently took a photo to prove it. Talk about “winner, winner, chicken dinner.” The problem we see here remains: How do you eat that without making a huge mess? If a security guard sees this, you also have no excuse, because they definitely don’t sell rotisserie chickens at most concession stands.
Next: The method, not the snack, really makes this next one.
3. A Subway footlong sub
Twitter user Michael Hatchett snuck an footlong Subway sub into a movie theater. But the way he did it really gets us. “When I saw John Wick 2, I snuck in a foot-long sub from Subway by hiding it underneath my T-shirt and tucking the bottom fourth of it into my jeans,” he wrote. “It’s the trashiest thing I’ve probably ever done. I was very hungry.” Hungry or not, it just sounds really hard to walk in that situation. We also commend Hatchett for his creativity, and sheer snack tenacity.
Next: We bet the following made a cute date night.
2. Charcuterie and bevvies for Valentine’s Day
Amanda McLoughlin spilled on Twitter that she and her beau brought a 10-piece charcuterie board into a film. That includes a full-size baguette, plus drinks (at least according to the photo). From the looks of it, they must have really struggled to get it past security, because even the leftovers take up quite some space. We tend to suggest smaller snacks, but this looks so delicious, we also don’t blame them.
Next: This last one takes the cake for creativity, however.
1. This sneaky snack-hiding method
Now, we don’t condone illegal activity. We also don’t recommend you try to pull one over on the authorities, period. But if you do decide to sneak snacks into a movie theater, we admit the genius of this packaging. No one would ever suspect the insides of a tampon box, right? If you have to do it, do it right, that’s what we always say. But we still suggest you buy your snacks at the theater and if you have to sneak, carry your trash out afterward.
Check out The Cheat Sheet on Facebook!