If you’re a Game of Thrones fan, you know the proverbial winter is here. But have you given any thought to where all the Game of Thrones survivors plan to live after the war is over?
Assuming that the seven kingdoms are a total mess after multiple battles with the dead (plus fire-breathing dragons), it will probably be easier to abandon Westeros in favor of some truly exceptional real estate offerings. They’ll want ones with all the modern conveniences — you know, like indoor plumbing and electricity.
From mountain top retreats to sprawling beach resorts, these stunning home buys are enough for any Targaryen or Lannister to forget all about that silly metal throne.
1. Cersei Lannister, Exclusive Bel Air enclave
Obviously, a Lannister would never settle for less than the best, and this $250 million luxury living space is currently one of the most expensive houses for sale in the United States. With 38,000 square feet, 10 VIP guest suites, three gourmet kitchens, an 85-foot glass tile infinity swimming pool, and a 40-seat theater, Cersei will have all the amenities she craves. She can even pretend one of the 12 bedrooms is for her brother to stay in — but she’s not fooling anyone.
2. Theon Greyjoy, Bainbridge Island treehouse
While the sea holds some fairly unpleasant memories for poor Theon — namely, an epic battle with his crazy uncle and ultimately confronting his innate cowardice when it came time to save his sister — the sea is in his blood. This Washington tree top home, with nautical finishes and a view of the gorgeous Puget Sound, is the perfect place for him to retire from pretending to be brave and worthwhile. Tucked away and surrounded by acres of community space, it offers total privacy from his many enemies and a real place to relax, unwind, and reflect on all his previous failings in life.
3. Jon Snow, LA log cabin
As good as he looks in furs, it would be way too easy to stick Jon Snow in the snowy climate of the north. Instead, we suggest a marriage of two interests with this luxury log cabin in Santa Monica. Its California coast location is far removed from Night Kings and White Walkers — and that’s a good thing. But still, the grand fireplace, contemporary lodge design aesthetic, and native pine materials throughout will remind Jon of his roots. With six bedrooms and a huge outdoor entertaining area, it’s the ideal place for him to settle down and finally relax for once.
4. Sansa Stark, Spokane cottage
Sansa hasn’t had a storybook life so far, but that’s all about to change when she moves into this magical Washington cottage. Built by architect Glen Cloninger as part of his Series of Storybook homes, it boasts box beam ceilings, a curved staircase, marble floors, and a gorgeous library where Sansa can curl up with a good book and try to forget all the horrible things that happened to her and her family.
5. Petyr Baelish, Modern glass mansion in Dallas
There’s no denying that Littlefinger is a total creeper. Even when he’s supposedly acting as an ally or doing something as benign as walking down a hallway, he still oozes suspicion. That’s why this glass front mansion might be just the thing to finally clear his name.
Think about it — if he can’t hide behind solid walls, then he’s less likely to be up to no good. In other words, it’s the exact opposite of the brothel he used to run. And because he’s a social climber at heart, the elegant space with a storied past and amenities such as a double staircase, media house, modernist cabana, pool, and tennis court are sure to suit his discerning taste.
6. Tyrion Lannister, San Francisco clock tower
It seems like Tyrion is always living on borrowed time. With plenty of enemies who would rather see him dead (ahem, his sister) and a dry wit to match his penchant for dry mead, this one-of-a-kind penthouse is just the place to unwind after a long day of being ridiculously clever. Plus, it has views for miles, so he can easily look out for approaching threats. Located in a high rise in South Beach, it boasts panoramic views in all directions and plenty of room for entertaining. It’s a completely unique dwelling for an equally uncommon fellow.
7. Brianne of Tarth, North Carolina luxury bunker
This beautiful bunker boasts 15 foot thick concrete walls that are all covered in reclaimed wood and 46 private acres perfect for practicing sword fighting. The original builder put in 7-foot high doorways to accommodate her 6-foot-6 husband, who didn’t want to have to duck. That’s a consideration someone of Brianne’s stature is sure to appreciate.
8. Missandei, Lincoln Park Victorian
There’s something so romantic about Victorian homes, making this historic Lincoln Park mansion the perfect abode to nurture a budding romance between Missandei and Grey Worm. Because she’s already accustomed to city living, settling into this state-of-the-art Chicago stunner will be no trouble at all — as long as she remembers to bring a winter coat.
With smart home technology and all the charm you’d expect from a grand old Victorian, this is the perfect place for her to get a little space from Daenerys and forge a path of her own.
9. Daenerys Targaryen, Southlake Texas castle
Every queen deserves a castle, and this one comes with storage for 12 vehicles — or maybe three dragons in this case. Either way, the eight-bedroom, 10-bath spread has plenty of space for the mother of dragons and all her faithful subjects. With tons of amenities, such as a theater, game room, libraries, and outdoor kitchen and pool, Daenerys can finally stop fighting for power and enjoy life instead of always worrying about who she needs to vanquish next. Most of the rooms have high ceilings, so if she must drag along the Iron Throne to her new digs, she’ll have plenty of space to set it up.
10. Samwell Tarly, Oceanfront Hawaiian retreat
Poor Samwell Tarly. He’s dealt with a lot over the years, from being the butt of every joke to having to live up to his father’s impossible expectations. Now all he wants to do is keep Gilly and the baby safe and happy, and this luxury oceanfront home is just the place to do it.
After the cold temps of Castle Black and the less-than-ideal conditions at the Citadel, this incredible seven-bedroom property is sure to provide the rest and relaxation that Sam and his chosen family want and deserve. With custom tailored modern furniture, tons of outdoor living spaces, and tastefully curated art, it won’t be long before Sam forgets all his prior troubles while lounging on the sand. (But we recommend lots of sunscreen.)