Star Wars is one of the best known and most successful media franchises to have ever existed. Besides being a highly successful series of films that has stretched over 30 years, this space saga has also spawned untold amounts of books, toys, cartoons, clothes, and every other type of media and merchandise imaginable. And while casual fans of the movies may hesitate to buy items that don’t have some sort of practical purpose (like a Darth Vader helmet toaster that actually makes toast), true Star Wars fanatics will buy just about anything to do with the franchise, no matter how strange or impractical the items may be.
However, far be it from us to judge. As a matter of fact, some of our favorite Star Wars gear falls under the “wildly-impractical-or-just-plain-ridiculous” umbrella. In honor of all the Star Wars fanatics who never saw a piece of Star Wars gear they didn’t want to own, here are 10 of the craziest Star Wars gifts we could find.
1. Star Wars Lawn Ornament
Remember the AT-AT Walker that the Rebel Alliance brought down during the Battle of Hoth? Of course you do! Although the Alliance lost that battle and had to evacuate the planet, it was a really cool moment that is probably still talked about by survivors of Echo Base in bars all over the galaxy. Now you, too, can relive this Pyrrhic victory with this resin lawn ornament of an AT-AT Walker lying face first in a pile of fake snow. Just try to remember where you left it when winter rolls around or it’ll be as lost as Luke in a snowstorm. You can find the AT-AT Walker Star Wars Lawn Ornament here.
2. Chewie Costume Hoodie
Sure, you could be like every other Star Wars fan and just wear a brown or black hoodie in a clichéd attempt to look like a Jedi or Sith. Or maybe you could be a little different and wear a hoodie made of the skin of one of the most beloved Star Wars characters to have ever graced the silver screen. That’s right; this hoodie is made of 100% Chewbacca. The sick bastards even left Chewie’s iconic bandolier on.
While we don’t doubt that this hoodie will keep you warm in cold weather, we don’t think it will offer you any protection from the icy stares of people who disapprove of skinning furry sentient life forms. It may also provoke enraged Wookiee attacks. You’ve been warned, but if you still want to risk it, you can find the Chewie Costume Hoodie here.
3. Star Wars Darth Vader Self Stirring and Spinning Mug – Mix your drink with the Force
In the Star Wars movies, Darth Vader is often shown using his formidable Force powers to do mean things like choke his employees or throw chunks of metal at his long-lost son. And while it was never shown onscreen, we like to imagine that Darth Vader used his Dark Side Force powers for more mundane tasks as well – perhaps even stirring his morning coffee. Luckily, we can all live the dream of blending our beverages like a Sith lord now, thanks to this battery-powered, self-stirring mug. It’s the next best thing to having actual Dark Side Force powers. You can find the Star Wars Darth Vader Self Stirring and Spinning Mug here.
4. Stormtrooper Yo-Yo – Star Wars
What do yo-yos have to with the elite combat troops of the Galactic Empire? Well, nothing really, until someone had the bright idea to put a Stormtrooper’s helmet on one. It’s silly, it has sound effects, and we’d love to own it. You can find the Stormtrooper Yo-Yo here.
5. Darth Vader Antenna Topper
The black foam Darth Vader Antenna Topper won’t improve your radio reception, but it will give your car some Dark Side street cred. It also makes a great pencil topper when you need to write that awkward letter to your estranged son with the missing hand. You can find the Darth Vader Antenna Topper here.
6. How to Speak Droid with R2-D2: A Communication Manual
Have you ever wondered what R2-D2 is saying? C-3PO’s excitable sidekick speaks in a language of squeals, whistles, and beeps that is incomprehensible to non-droids. Well, not anymore. The How to Speak Droid with R2-D2: A Communication Manual will have you speaking like an R2 unit in no time, so you can insult your friends in droid for wasting their time learning useless languages like Klingon.
OK, so we realize that this is a fun book intended for children. However, any Star Wars book that reveals that R2 has “a special sanitary compartment for convenient poop storage” deserves a place on this list (we kid you not). You can find the How to Speak Droid with R2-D2: A Communication Manual here.
7. Star Wars Stormtroopers Figure Set by Sideshow Collectibles
As you probably know, there have been quite a few Star Wars toys issued over the years, including hundreds of different types of action figures. For serious Star Wars fanatics though, those action figures are merely, well, toys. Sure, you could spend a few measly dollars to get a plastic Stormtrooper action figure, but it doesn’t offer the detail and craftsmanship found in this Star Wars Stormtroopers Figure Set.
These sixth scale collectible figures accurately replicate the Stormtroopers as they appeared in Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope. The 12-inch high set includes two Stormtrooper figures with a stand, highly detailed weapons, a heavy blaster, and a mouse droid. Is it worth spending the extra credits? If you have to ask yourself that question then this Stormtrooper set probably isn’t for you. Everyone else can run and buy the Star Wars Stormtroopers Figure Set by Sideshow Collectibles here.
8. Star Wars Darth Vader Force Glove
In the Star Wars universe, The Force is the mystical energy that the Jedi and Sith tap into when they want to move their poorly parked X-wing or choke an incompetent underling. Needless to say, there’s probably not a Star Wars fan alive who hasn’t wished that they could use The Force at some point in their life. And while earth scientists have yet to discover midichlorians, they have figured out how magnets work.
Now you can get your pseudo-Force powers on with the Star Wars Darth Vader Force Glove. Powered by the Dark Side of magnetism, this glove will allow you to push and pull small items – as long as they contain a magnet. Release your inner Sith with the Star Wars Darth Vader Force Glove here.
9. Lightsaber Room Light
In the Star Wars universe, lightsabers are the deadly weapons wielded by members of the Jedi and Sith orders. But what do Jedi knights and Sith lords do with their elegant weapons when they aren’t trying to dismember each other with them? That’s easy – they hang their lightsabers on the wall as nightlights. The Lightsaber Room Light features lightsaber sound effects and includes a remote control that allows the user to select eight different lighting colors. Banish the Dark Side – or at least the darkness – with the Lightsaber Room Light here.
10. Star Wars Wampa Rug
Everyone knows that Wampas are the fearsome furry predators with a taste for Jedi that live on the snowy planet of Hoth (duh). However, not everyone knows that Wampas also make really comfortable rugs. Decorate your room like a Jedi veteran and impress Slave Leia with the Star Wars Wampa Rug here.
Follow Nathanael on Twitter @ArnoldEtan_WSCS