People love Star Wars. Whether it’s the original trilogy, the younger generation with the prequels, or today’s youth with the sequel trilogy, pretty much everyone alive today has had the opportunity to get sucked into this galaxy far, far away. And now that it’s under control of Disney, there are even really awesome Star Wars cartoons. But not everything about your favorite movies is perfect. The dialogue is frequently pretty awful, and that’s not just the prequels.
Let’s take a look back at 14 odd moments of uncomfortable Star Wars dialogue, and one unforgettably awful scene that really gets our blood boiling.
15. ‘Around the survivors, a perimeter create’
We love Yoda, so adding this quote was a little hard to do. The leap from wise, old Jedi Master to tiny, green military commander with a lightsaber was very quick in Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, and this line was a bit jarring for that reason. With the newly-formed clone army barring down on the stadium on Geonosis, Yoda tosses out this gem to his clone troops.
Not only was the line seemingly out of place for the character, it also highlighted another problem. George Lucas really leaned hard on Yoda’s backwards speech in the prequels.
Next: What is love?
14. ‘So love has blinded you?’
In Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Padme and Anakin are standing on a balcony on Coruscant chatting away about the eventual birth of their child. What follows is a scene full of eyeroll-inducing dialogue about which person loves the other more, like two teenagers on the phone telling the other to hang up first.
Anakin says that she is so beautiful, because he’s so in love with her. What’s the logical response for a loving wife? “So love has blinded you?” So awful.
Next: No, you’re the evil one.
13. ‘From my point of view the Jedi are evil’
Undoubtedly, the best part of the entire prequel series is the final battle between Anakin and Obi-Wan Kenobi. It really was the main thing that fans had been dying to see since before Episode I, and the action really didn’t disappoint. But there’s still plenty of bad dialogue to fit in, including Anakin’s response when Obi-Wan casually informs him that Palpatine is evil. “From my point of view the Jedi are evil.”
It’s interesting that after having no qualms about going on a Sith killing spree, including small children, now Anakin is acting like he’s preparing for a debate.
Next: Let’s have a catch.
12. ‘Our first catch of the day’
Most fans agree that Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back is the best of the entire saga, and one of the greatest movies ever made. However, the lines of dialogue aren’t without a few clunkers, even if Carrie Fischer was helping edit the script for Lucas.
Right as the Battle of Hoth begins, an unnamed Imperial officer is informed that Rebel ships are heading for them. Without a hint of irony or sarcasm, he replies: “Good. Our first catch of the day.” How hard did everyone else on that Star Destroyer have to try not to burst out laughing?
Next: Not-so-likable Luke.
11. ‘But I was going to the Tosche Station to pick up some power converters’
Ah, good old Whiny Luke. In the early moments of Star Wars: A New Hope, we’re introduced to young Luke Skywalker, a petulant farm boy on a desert planet that has nothing better to do than goof off with his friends and bake in the sun.
When Luke’s uncle reminds him of chores that need to be done, he spouts off with the most whiny tone possible about wanting to go hang out at the Tosche Station. The good news is that love for the character only can go up from there.
Next: Stop joking, this is serious!
10. ‘One thing’s for sure, we’re all going to be a lot thinner’
This one may be fine as the joke that it is, but it has always been somewhat of a personal pet peeve. When inside the trash compactor and the walls baring down on our heroes, Han Solo utters this little quip while everyone else desperately tries to find a way to stop from being crushed.
Really, dude? Now is the time to make a joke about being a lot thinner once these giant metal walls are done squishing the life out of you? Stop it. It’s not the right time. But like with Luke and his early lines, Han only becomes more lovable. So this one is mostly forgotten.
Next: The Shredder would be so disappointed.
9. ‘Let’s go, chrome dome!’
There are many problems with Star Wars: The Last Jedi that we don’t necessarily need to get into in this space. For the most part, the dialogue of the movie is fine. However, it’s not without its stinkers. When Finn is on the Supremacy fighting against his nemesis, Captain Phasma, he yells, “Let’s go, chrome dome!”
The line immediately distracts from the very tense and impactful duel, and if anything it probably made many viewers call back to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The line was bad, and Rian Johnson should feel bad.
Next: Nobody talks this way.
8. ‘That is why you couldn’t destroy me’
With Empire Strikes Back having Lawrence Kasdan directing and Fischer helping make notes on the dialogue, the movie comes away mostly fine. But after the success of the first two movies, it appears as though Lucas decided he didn’t need notes from anyone with Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.
That’s most apparent in the confrontation between Luke and Darth Vader on Endor, where this long, awkward line is thrown out by the younger Skywalker: “It is the name of your true self. You’ve only forgotten. I know there is good in you. The Emperor hasn’t driven it from you fully. That is why you couldn’t destroy me.”
It’s hard to imagine “that is why you couldn’t destroy me” being said in any real life situation.
Next: Lucas’ biggest mistake.
7. ‘Yoosa should follow me now, okeeday?’
There is universal agreement that the biggest problem with Star Wars: The Phantom Menace is Jar Jar Binks, the non-sense-talking Gungan from Naboo. Can you imagine what veteran actors like Ewan McGregor, Liam Neeson, and Samuel L. Jackson thought when they saw the finished movie for the first time?
Although there is a line from Jar Jar from the movie listed, the reason is the same for any of his lines: It’s all gibberish intended to keep young kids entertained and sell more action figures. For shame, George.
Next: I find that hard to believe…
6. ‘Somehow, I’ve always known’
Oh boy, do Star Wars fans love to hate on this line. After creating somewhat of a rivalry for Princess Leia’s affection between Luke and Han in the first two movies, Return of the Jedi throws the audience a curveball: The two are brother and sister. It’s revealed somewhat unceremoniously early in the movie, and when Leia is informed she admits that, somehow, she has always known. But did you know when you were making out with your brother on Hoth?
In reality, Lucas was probably stressed to provide a shocking twist to rival the Vader-is-your-dad twist from ESB. That led to a completely unplanned plot line being interjected into the story.
Next: Poor little Ani…
Poor Jake Lloyd. This is really George Lucas’ fault, because all Star Wars fans could’ve told him that nobody wanted or needed to see Darth Vader as an 8-year-old boy. The times that it was most cringeworthy? Any time that little Ani would yell “yippeeeee!” to express his joy.
The Phantom Menace was a major dud, and pretty much any scene that involved Anakin was a major reason why. But again, don’t be mad at Lloyd for this. It’s not his fault.
Next: A massive waste of time.
4. ‘I wish I could put my fist through this whole lousy, beautiful town’
OK, let’s go ahead and get into one of those problems with The Last Jedi. As far as injecting a political agenda in a movie — any movie — goes, it’s really just fine. It has been done for decades in Hollywood, and if you’re complaining you’ve likely willingly ignored it in the past.
However, the entire second act with Finn, Rose, and the casino at Canto Bight was a complete waste with no other purpose than to make a political statement, and that’s most evident this line from Rose. It’s cool that they rescued the giant space horses, but we wish we could put our fist through this whole meaningless part of the movie.
Next: Now this is awful dialogue!
3. ‘Now this is podracing’
The trend of using Star Wars to sell toys to kids started with Return of the Jedi and the Ewoks, but it was also extremely evident in The Phantom Menace. There’s an entire chunk of the movie taken up by the podracing scene, complete with a weird, two-headed announcer guy. It’s kind of a snooze.
But later in the movie, Anakin finds himself accidentally fighting in outer space and blowing up a massive Trade Federation ship. Back in 1999, you could actually hear the groans of the audience when the young boy stated: “Now this is podracing.”
Next: Wait, what did you say?
2. ‘You’d say, “boom de gasa”… den crashded da boss’s heyblibber… den banished’
We thought we’d throw in one more line from Jar Jar Binks for good measure, because this one is especially awful. Without the context of the scene, it’s extremely hard to even know what the Gungan is babbling about here. Something about why he got banished from the Gungan society, right?
Anyway, it didn’t seem possible to come up with a list of 15 awful moments of dialogue in Star Wars history without including at least two from Jar Jar.
Next: No trips to the beach.
1. ‘I don’t like sand…’
Hey, this one is pretty sympathetic. Who doesn’t hate sand? It’s coarse, and rough, and irritating. And it gets everywhere. Anakin grew up on Tatooine, so it’s understandable why he hates sand. People that grow up in Minnesota probably hate snow.
During one of their more cringeworthy scenes in Attack of the Clones, Anakin attempts to appeal to Padme with this little tangent about his hatred of sand. It’s important, you see, because sand likely was the key factor in pushing him to the dark side. Anyway, Padme kisses Anakin at the end of the scene, likely just to keep him from bringing up sand again.
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