Here we are again: Every week, we sift through the nonsensical wasteland of the Internet in order to bring you five of the most interesting, outlandish, and occasionally made-up Hollywood rumors. What is it about celebrity and fame that drive bloggers to obsess over every single detail of their favorite actors and movies, to the point of flat-out making up lies to garner clicks? Maybe we should all — readers and writers, alike — take a minute to reflect on how creating and consuming shallow gossip is turning our society into… HOLY EFFING HELL, HAN SOLO MIGHT DIE IN EPISODE VII!
OK, enough lamenting the state of our culture, we have things to discuss.
1. Seriously, though, Han Solo could die in Episode VII.
This rumor first appeared (and promptly faded away) in 2014, but very suddenly resurged this week when a bevy of new gossip sites claimed they had new insider details that confirm the rumor. The Mail’s “Girl About Town” column supposedly confirmed Han’s death, stating, “Movie moles tell me the Space Cowboy will sadly be no more come the end of Star Wars: The Force Awakens.” Star Wars fan site MakingStarWars also quotes someone who claimed to have seen a scene from the movie where Leia is allegedly mourning her late husband. There’s a few too many “movie moles” (what does that phrase mean, exactly?) at the heart of this story to be particularly credible, but that hasn’t stopped Internet nerds from spreading it like wildfire. Seriously, though, they can kill off every character in the first five minutes and end the movie there and it will still be more entertaining than if they let Hayden Christensen return to the franchise.
2. Homeland‘s Damian Lewis may be the next James Bond.
Two months ago, it was Idris Elba. Last week, it was David Beckham. Who will allegedly be filling the shoes of England’s drunkest secret agent this week? Good ol’ Nicholas Brody from Showtime’s Homeland. The Daily Mirror claims to have a “well-placed source” (a term that is only slightly less vague than “movie mole”) who told them, “If Daniel Craig leaves, it’s Damian Lewis who will be crowned the new Bond. He is seen as an all-round international star who is perfect for the role. As he ages, he looks increasingly suave and sophisticated.” To be clear, it doesn’t actually sound like Damian Lewis is going to be cast as Bond if Daniel Craig fulfills his contract and does one more Bond movie after Spectre — despite The Daily Mirror’s attempt to spin the quote in that direction. Instead, their own source makes it sound like Damian Lewis is essentially the pinch-hitter for the post-Spectre film if Daniel Craig backs out (Craig told Time only a month ago that he was probably done playing the iconic character).
3. Is HBO is planning a Game of Thrones movie?
Allegedly, this comes straight from the overgrown beard of George R.R. Martin himself. The Daily Mail claims to have had a little chat with Martin at an Emmy’s after-party. When asked about the movie, Martin supposedly confirmed the rumor point blank.
“There will be a movie but I will not be involved. I have too much to do. That is something HBO and [D.B. Weiss] and David [Benioff] are dealing with. I have two more books to finish and I still have so much to do. The pressure is on. I am such a slow writer and the fans get upset that I don’t write faster.”
However, Martin called the article false on his blog shortly after it posted. Regardless of whether the statement was the drunken party small-talk of an old, overworked writer or the fabrication of a gossip blog, it’s comforting to think that Martin knows he’s taking for-freaking-ever to write these damn books. Speaking of, what are you doing at a party, George? GET BACK TO YOUR CAVE AND FINISH THE NEXT BOOK.
4. The Watchmen may become a TV series.
Because apparently he wasn’t done ruining it the first time, Zack Snyder is allegedly in talks with HBO to bring the highly regarded graphic novel, The Watchmen, to the small screen. Snyder’s 2009 film adaptation of the novel remains one of the most hotly debated comic book adaptations in recent memory, particularly surrounding the film’s faithfulness to the source material and Snyder’s willingness to alter plot points in order to save time. As Blastr points out, if HBO is thinking of giving Snyder the chance to tell the story episodically, it would allow the director to remain far more true to the much beloved source material (and that might not be a bad thing).
5. Sony may have an animated Ghostbusters movie in the works.
The director of the original Ghostbusters movie, Ivan Reitman, is allegedly attached as the producer. The Wrap claims to have been told by “studio insiders,” (film ferrets, if you will) that Sony is on the hunt for a writer and that the story could be told from a ghost’s perspective. Like the animated Ghostbusters TV series that first aired in 1986, the upcoming movie will feature a group of scientists modeled after the original male cast members, without using their voices or likenesses so as to avoid the cost (Bill Murray’s face doesn’t come cheap, my friend). I’m filing this one under “Potentially True, But Hopefully Not.”
Follow James Tison on Twitter @doioweyoumoney