5 Video Game Moves That Are Impossible to Do in Real Life

One very good reason to play video games is to experience things you’d never be able to do in real life. That goes for immersing yourself in fictional worlds and for pulling off physical feats that would otherwise be impossible. Thankfully, video games are chock full of these kinds of things.

Here are five of our favorite moves from games that are totally impossible in real life.

1. Blanka’s rolling attack in the Street Fighter series

You could write a whole book based on impossible Street Fighter moves, but perhaps none disobeys the laws of physics so flagrantly as Blanka’s rolling attack. This impossible move has the green beast pull up his knees like he’s about to do a cannonball into a pool, but instead of jumping off of something, he hurls himself horizontally through the air until he smashes into his opponent. After a successful strike, Blanka ricochets dramatically backwards, as if he’s been shot out of a cannon. It’s as absurd as it is fun to pull off. Blanka, I don’t know what kind of special physics they have in your world, but it looks like fun.

2. Strafing Batmobile in Batman: Arkham Knight

It’s a pain in the butt to drivers worldwide, but cars primarily move forward and backward. If they could move left and right just as easily, parallel parking would be a cinch. But short of rethinking our whole idea of how a car is made, it’s not going to happen anytime soon. Unless, that is, you have access to the Wayne fortune and can afford a state-of-the-art Batmobile. When this ‘roided-up car is in tank mode in Arkham Knight, it can easily glide in any direction you want. It’s incredibly useful for people playing the game, but it isn’t exactly realistic.

3. Wall climbing in Uncharted

Ninja Warrior proves that some people have incredible reserves of upper body strength. But you’d have to be a Ninja Warrior a hundred times over to pull off the wall-climbing feats of Nathan Drake in the Uncharted series. This dude could practically live on the side of a cliff, he’s so comfortable dangling thousands of feet in the air and pulling himself up using nothing more than a few fingers. Sure, his superhuman stamina makes the game more fun to play, but if you tried this stuff in real life, you’d go splat in no time.

4. Sub Zero’s decapitation fatality in Mortal Kombat

The Mortal Kombat series has no shortage of unrealistic ways to shuffle off your opponent’s mortal coil, but Sub Zero has possibly the most iconic fatality of all. When he beats someone, he can grab their neck with one hand and pull their head from their body, raising it up in a stance of dominant victory. The best part is that the spine comes out as well, dangling like a rope for all to see. It might not work like that in real life, but it probably makes fighters question whether they really want to step in the ring with old Subs in the first place.

5. Blue shell in Mario Kart

When you’re losing a competition — and I’m talking about coming in dead last — it’s natural to have a happy little fantasy of the person in first place crashing and burning. That fantasy becomes a reality in Mario Kart, a series in which you can get a blue shell weapon that acts as a heat-seeking missile locked onto the racer in first place. Anyone who gets in its way is also toast, but in most of the games, you’re guaranteed to knock out the leader, at least for a moment. Unfortunately, there is no blue shell in life. Leaders will probably win. Trailers will probably lose. Here’s hoping we have the talent and drive to end up closer to the front than the back.

Follow Chris on Twitter @_chrislreed
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