‘The Bachelor’: Colton Underwood Opens Up About Suicidal Thoughts Before Coming Out

The Bachelor is a show that has spawned many controversies and pop-culture moments over the years. From contestants getting in trouble with the law to stars who have been featured as guests in the series, viewers can always expect the unexpected on The Bachelor. However, few fans could have anticipated that former Bachelor star Colton Underwood would come out as gay in a high-profile interview on Good Morning America. In the interview with Robin Roberts, Underwood talked about his stint on The Bachelor, his past relationships — and the devastating season in his life when he contemplated suicide. 

Colton Underwood looking to the left
Colton Underwood | Noel Vasquez/Getty Images

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Colton Underwood first rose to prominence as a football tight end at Illinois State, going on to be signed by the San Diego Chargers in 2014. After a few successful years in football, Underwood was cast in the 14th season of The Bachelorette. As a contestant on the show vying for love, Underwood got a lot of positive attention from fans — and ultimately, he was cast as The Bachelor for the 23rd season of the hit reality series.

Early on in the season, Underwood formed an attachment to Cassie Randolph, and ultimately, he rejected the final two contestants in order to pursue a relationship with Randolph. In spite of the dramatic way that they started their romance, Underwood and Randolph broke things off as suddenly as they had begun, with both parties going on to pursue their own interests. 

Colton Underwood came out as gay

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For a few months, Colton Underwood has been quietly working on his own ventures, announcing a new Netflix series and launching a charity foundation. However, on April 14th, the former reality star made headlines when his interview with Robin Roberts, where he announced that he is gay, aired on television. Underwood admitted that it has taken a long time for him to accept his truth and that he was motivated to come out publicly after struggling with his mental health for years.

“Obviously, this year’s been a lot for a lot of people,” Underwood said. “It’s probably made a lot of people look themselves in the mirror and figure out who they are and what they’ve been running from or what they’ve been putting off in their lives … For me, I’ve run from myself for a long time, and I’ve hated myself for a long time, and I’m gay.”

What did Colton Underwood say about being suicidal?

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In his interview with Robin Roberts, Colton Underwood got emotional when he talked about the mental health crisis he faced as he struggled to come to terms with his sexuality. According to US Weekly, he even admitted that, at one point, he considered suicide. “There was a moment in L.A. that I woke up, and I didn’t think I was gonna wake up. I didn’t have the intentions of waking up, and I did. I think for me that was, like, my, my wake-up call. Like, this is your life, take back control,” Underwood said.

“Beyond that, [I had] even just suicidal thoughts. I’m driving my car close to a cliff, like, ‘Oh if this goes off the cliff, it’s not that big of a deal.’ I don’t feel that anymore.” With his public coming out, many of Underwood’s friends and co-stars have been sending public messages of support to the reality star — support that will hopefully enable Underwood to move to the next phase of his career with happiness and grace. 

How to get help: In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Or text HOME to 741-741 to speak with a trained crisis counselor at the free Crisis Text Line.