‘BIP’: Blake Horstmann Says There’s a Lot of ‘Single Shaming’ in Bachelor Nation

Contestants go on shows like The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and Bachelor in Paradise in the hopes of getting engaged (well, at least that’s the idea).

Franchise alum Blake Horstmann says, because the shows are so centered around finding love, there’s a certain amount of shame that comes along with not finding a partner once contestants become members of Bachelor Nation.

Blake Horstmann | John Fleenor/ABC via Getty Images
Blake Horstmann | John Fleenor/ABC via Getty Images

Horstmann’s first go at reality TV love was on Becca Kufrin’s season of The Bachelorette. He was the front-runner up until the very end when the lead gave her final rose to Garrett Yrigoyen. Horstmann took the rejection extremely hard.

Then, last year, he tried his hand at finding “the one” on Bachelor in Paradise. He was involved in a ton of drama and ended up single. Horstmann says he was in a tough place mentally after the season ended.

“I was in a REALLYYYY bad place and luckily i have an amazing family and a lot of close friends,” he recently wrote on Instagram during a Q&A with fans, adding that he “also went to therapy.”  

“I am still working on it. I am still going to therapy and have made huge strides,” he wrote.

Is Blake Horstmann looking for a girlfriend right now?

One fan asked Horstmann is he’s currently “looking for someone.”

“I have decided to stop ‘looking’ for someone. The show kind of puts you in a strange mind frame where you are constantly going over the top trying to find ‘the one.’ There is alot [sic] of single shaming in BN and if you are single there must be something wrong with you bc ‘everyone’ wants to date you,” he shared.

“I have decided just to live my life the way I want it and let it happen… So we will see,” Horstmann concluded.

‘Bachelor in Paradise’ taught Blake Horstmann to focus less on how others perceive him

Through his experience with the franchise, Horstmann has learned to not pay as much mind to what people think about him.

“What have you learned the most about yourself since bachelor and fame and all?” asked another fan.

“This is a good one… I think over time I have learned that I identified who I was too much by how people saw me than how I saw myself,” he wrote. “I think my generation and the younger generation often only find confidence and self worth [sic] through the eyes of others.” 

“I learn who I am now by looking inside myself rather than to someone else…” he added.

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