‘BIP’: Caelynn Miller-Keyes Wishes She Never Said That Blake Horstmann ‘Silenced’ Her

Caelynn Miller-Keyes and Blake Horstmann were involved in some major Bachelor In Paradise drama this season. Miller-Keyes and Horstmann had been involved romantically prior to filming, but once they got to Mexico, Miller-Keyes felt as though Horstmann was “ashamed” of her. She told the camera and a few other Paradise cast members that Horstmann had “silenced” her.

Caelynn Miller-Keyes | Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Thirst Project
Caelynn Miller-Keyes | Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Thirst Project

When the episodes aired, Horstmann posted a lengthy Instagram essay to show his side of the situation. Additionally, he released text exchanges between him and Miller-Keyes, seemingly to prove that their relationship was, indeed, casual in nature.

Caelynn Miller-Keyes spoke to Blake Horstmann before he released their texts

In a recent interview Miller-Keyes did on The Viall Files, she revealed that she had spoken to Horstmann prior to his releasing their texts.

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Here we go… I am not here to deny those text messages or the conversations that took place. Things got taken out of context on the show, and a large part of the story is missing. The reality of the situation is that Blake was not a one night stand at a music festival and the ‪5 am‬ text exchange that Blake chose to share is not an accurate representation of our past relationship. I take ownership for what I said on the beach. I was upset and I let my emotions control my words. However, I did not go on a show to ruin someone’s character. I attempted to address my feelings and the situation with Blake face to face. It’s unfortunate that I didn't get the same respect in return, and I am absolutely mortified our private texts were put out there for the world to see and judge by someone who I trusted and consider a friend nonetheless. It’s clear to me that Blake and I had different ideas of what our “relationship” was. We started talking months before Stagecoach. We FaceTimed everyday and talked about potentially skipping paradise to be together. When I say he ghosted me, it was after those few months of us talking.  It was my understanding there was no one else and I thought we were on the same page. What infuriates me the most is that I’m being trolled for having sex because of what I’ve been through. I want to be very clear that I am not looking for sympathy. I took the necessary steps to move on and heal, but I will not be abstinent for the rest of my life because of it. This is a complicated situation considering it’s not only on TV, but has taken a life of its own on the internet.  This could’ve been over after last night’s episode, but since it’s now all over Instagram, I felt like it was imperative to share my truth. We all have our own perception of how different situations unfold and there are many sides to this story. I hope that we can all move forward and support one another, rather than tear each other down. I have moved on and I am excited to continue to share the rest of my journey with you all.

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“We talked on the phone before he released the text messages. I was like ‘Dude, if you want to clear your name and say this, whatever, I was like there are phone conversations, there are text messages from both of our sides that I’m not going to release but this isn’t fair. If you want to do this, and I know it’s set in your heart, whatever, but you don’t need to release the 2 am text messages. You just don’t,’” she said.

Caelynn Miller-Keyes regrets her word choice

She also spoke to Viall about how heated she felt, in the moment, when describing her relationship with Horstmann on camera. Viall asked her if the word “silenced” was a poor choice of words.

“I’m very sensitive to this, obviously,” Miller-Keyes said, referring to her past experience with sexual assault.

“I don’t know. With drinks in me [in Paradise] I got more heated than I ever really felt. What I was most upset about was that he did kind of want to hide me. He was like ashamed of me,” she continued.

She says BIP fans misinterpreted what she was trying to communicate about how Horstmann made her feel.

“It wasn’t the way people are interpreting it and I wish I didn’t use that word but also I’m in my own head where I know every detail of what’s happened so I’m thinking of it this way and then the internet turns it into something that it wasn’t and that’s really unfortunate. So, yeah, I wish I didn’t use that specific word,” she said.

Caelynn feels like she’s a better communicator now

The incident was a low point for Miller-Keyes. But she does say that, ultimately, she learned a lot.

“I think the main takeaway that I had from this whole situation, as terrible as it was, is, I don’t know, I just want to be a better communicator. I think we can all be better communicators because–me and my best friends we talk about this: am I building this up to be more than it is? In just little situations, whether it be with a stranger or a close friend or whatever and it’s like we need to be better communicators and see both sides,” she said.

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Paradise part two

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Miller-Keyes continued: “If I had been a better communicator with Blake and been like ‘this is exactly how I’m feeling’ instead of hiding away and feeling like an obsessed girl, a heartbroken girl, which is how I was feeling. I can be more stoic and I hide my feelings. But if I just would have opened up and been honest things would have obviously played out differently.”

Read more: ‘BIP’: Caelynn Miller-Keyes Offered To Do A Joint Interview With Blake Horstmann Before He Released Their Texts But He Refused