Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston: Does It Makes Sense to Keep in Touch with an Ex?
Fans were surprised to learn Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are still friendly, considering the way their four-year marriage ended in 2005. Aniston even invited Pitt to her 50th birthday party (Aniston’s second husband, Justin Theroux, was also reportedly at the party). This caused many to wonder how the former spouses manage to get along so well. However, is it really a good idea to stay in touch with your ex-spouse? The Cheat Sheet reached out to Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. (aka “Dr. Romance”), psychotherapist and author of How to Be Happy Partners: Working It out Together. Here’s what she had to say.
The Cheat Sheet: When does it make sense to keep in touch with a former spouse?
Tina B. Tessina: When you have children in common. It’s important for your children’s well-being that both their parents get along and be present at occasions like birthdays, sport and school events, and family occasions. This is so much easier if you can bury whatever is left over from the divorce or breakup and be friends for the kids’ sake.
It also makes sense to keep in touch when you have financial investments or a business in common: It isn’t always advisable to divide up all the finances, especially if you own property or a business together, so being friendly and keeping in touch is essential to your financial health.
Another reason to stay in contact is when your friends and families are close. If both families or both sets of friends are close, you’re going to need to stay in touch with your ex. Family functions and get-togethers are going to require you to be in touch.
CS: When is it a bad idea to stay in touch with a former spouse?
TT: It’s a bad idea to stay in touch with a former spouse when there’s been violence or abuse, or the children are in danger. If your ex-spouse or your new spouse is extremely jealous, being in touch with the ex might be too difficult. Consider why you want to be with jealous, unstable people.
CS: Should you try to become friends with your former spouse’s significant other?
TT: Absolutely. If you are not, then your relationship with your ex is suspicious and will cause problems. Especially if children are involved, being friends is much easier.
CS: Is it ever a good idea to start dating your ex-spouse again? Why or why not?
TT: Dating an ex feels easy because you already know each other. But, if you don’t fix what went wrong the first time, it will go wrong again. Don’t let your unfinished business with each other tempt you back into a relationship until you finish it.
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