Captain Lee from ‘Below Deck’ Says Time Is Not Going to Ease His Grief over Losing His Son

“As parents, you’re not designed to bury your children,” Captain Lee Rosbach from Below Deck recently shared in an emotional interview with Page Six.

For the first time since losing his 42-year-old son Joshua, Rosbach is sharing the details surrounding his son’s death. Shortly after Josh died, Rosbach revealed that his son battled drug addiction for decades. “After a twenty year struggle, he finally succumbed to the demons he fought so long and so hard,” Rosbach shared in a moving Instagram post. “Addiction is an insidious disease that knows no social status or geographic boundaries.”

Captain Lee Rosbach
Captain Lee Rosbach | Virginia Sherwood/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal via Getty Images

He hasn’t publicly discussed details or his grief since laying his son to rest in July. But offered a raw account of the heartbreak he is experiencing and acknowledges that his devastating doesn’t simply become easier over time.

‘There’s a hole there that can’t be filled’

Rosbach says every day is a challenge. “I deal with it every day. I hate going to sleep, and I hate waking up,” he shared with Page Six. “There’s a hole there that can’t be filled.”

He also said time won’t ease his grief. “And the person who said, ‘time heals all wounds,’ is full of it. It doesn’t. The only thing that time may do for you is allow you to learn the skills you need to cope with the situation that you’re dealing with. As parents, you’re not designed to bury your children.”

Recently, Rosbach showed his support for the Special Olympics by creating a team in his son’s honor. Team “Josh’s Angels” is raising money for the 2019 Sallarulo’s Race for Champions. “We are doing Sallarulo’s race for Champions 5K for Special Olympics in memory of our son Josh who recently passed,” Rosbach shared on the team page.

Rosbach hoped Josh was in recovery

Rosbach offered insight into what his son was experiencing at the time of his death. He believed that perhaps his son was heading toward recovery too. “He had a DUI conviction about 12 or 13 years ago that he finally got off his record. He’d got himself a car. He was working,” Rosbach told Page Six. “We thought we might have hit a milestone.”

Tragically though, it was Rosbach who found Josh dead in his apartment. He drove over to Josh’s home to check on him. “I walked in and he was sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands, and I thought he had just passed out,” Rosbach recounted. He adds that he “felt relieved and thought he was fine.” But then, “Then I went over to give him a hug, and he was cold. He’d gone.”

According to the medical examiner, Josh had purchased pills he thought were prescription opioids. But the pills were actually laced with cocaine, heroin and fentanyl. The Rosbachs reside in South Florida, which has experienced an explosive problem with opioids containing fentanyl. According to WLRN, nearly 1,700 people have died from opioid overdoses in South Florida alone since 2016.

Rosbach plans to take on the opioid epidemic when he is stronger. “I don’t want to start something, then not be able to finish it,” he remarked.