‘Counting On’: Jill Duggar Dillard’s Husband Derick Just Shared This Tip About Getting Intimate in the Bedroom

When you think of the Duggar family, steamy bedroom tips are not the first things that come to mind. The family is notoriously chaste and almost never talks about anything that might border on being risque. But in a recent blog post called “Hot Love: How to Love Your Wife Like You Mean It,” Derick Dillard completely opened up about how he and his wife Jill Duggar Dillard keep the romance alive in their relationship.

Jill and Derick’s marriage

We were first introduced to Jill when she appeared on her family’s show, 19 Kids and Counting. While on the show, Derick began courting Jill and the two eventually got married. Derick spoke about his marriage with his wife in his new blog post.

“Five years ago this summer, I married the woman of my dreams, Jill Michelle Duggar,” he wrote. “Some of you may have watched our love story unfold on TV, and if you want to read about it, you can click here. Anyway, like most couples when they get married, we were head over heels for each other…and now, nearly five years later, I can happily say that we are still very much in love.”

What advice does Derick have for keeping a marriage going?

Though Derick doesn’t claim to be a marriage counselor, he does have a lot of advice about how to keep a marriage alive.

Be vigilant,” he wrote. “Regardless of who does what in a relationship, it is ultimately the man’s responsibility to protect his marriage and family.  Nobody is exempt from a tendency for failure. Setting our marriages, families, and spiritual lives on ‘autopilot’ or being complacent will always eventually lead to failure. We must always be careful to give special attention to constantly evaluate and adjust our lives according to the Bible, the leading of God’s Holy Spirit, and the wise counsel of others.”

He also thinks that couples should never let their pride get in the way of their relationships.

“Be humble,” Derick said. “Along the same lines as the last point, pride (or complacency too!) comes before a fall.  If you think failure, bad family life, or even divorce could never happen to you, then WATCH OUT!  None of us are perfect, and if we ever think we’re too good for something bad to ever happen, then we’re deceiving ourselves.”

And for Derick and Jill, communication is key.

“Be open about everything: past, present, and future! You need to be able to trust each other with the easy and the hard! Secrets are seeds for destruction! (1 Corinthians 10:13) Sometimes there may be seasons of difficulty or you may have to rebuild broken trust. Ask God to help you and get outside help if needed. We aren’t meant to live life in isolation! We need support and community! (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; Galatians 6:2)”

What advice does Derick have about sex?

When it comes to sex, Derrick’s advice is to have lots of it.

“You both need this time together regularly (5-6 times (or more) a week is a good start),” he wrote. “Guys, you need to keep yourself ‘joyfully available’ for your wife, because only you can fulfill certain desires she might have.  1 Corinthians 7:4 teaches that the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.  We tend to focus on the first part of this verse, but often neglect the second half.  And when you may not be able to actually have intercourse for a period of time or for health issues, find other ways to have fun and be intimate.”

“Let your spouse know that you’re always available. Guard against fulfilling sexual desires alone. Be open with your spouse about your desires and change things up to keep it exciting! (Philippians 2:3-4; 1 Corinthians 7:5) If you’re struggling with sex with your spouse, GET HELP! See a doctor and/or licensed counselor and don’t be afraid to get second opinions!”