John Oliver may be the one person in the world who isn’t obsessed with the royal family. The Last Week Tonight host is so against them, in fact, that he seems to legitimately get angry any time they come up in conversation.
Here’s every time he took them on, including the political couple he compared Kate Middleton and Prince William to (page 5) and the only thing Queen Elizabeth did that he found relevant (page 7).
1. He didn’t even fake excitement for the royal wedding
Colbert suggested, “You’re English, you must be really excited about the royal wedding.” Oliver simply responded, “No.”
Next: He had advice for Meghan Markle.
2. He warned Meghan Markle to run
Oliver even warned Markle that she had time to get out of the royal family before it was too late.
He explained, “I don’t think you need to have just seen the pilot episode of The Crown to get a basic sense of she might be marrying into a family that could cause her some emotional complications.”
Next: He’s not very impressed by their jobs.
3. He called the royal family ‘fundamentally flawed’
Oliver dug even deeper into the royal family as Colbert tried to convince him that the younger generation is different.
“I mean, they are an emotionally stunted group of fundamentally flawed people doing a very silly pseudo job,” Oliver responded. “That’s what she’s marrying into.”
“So, I hope she likes it,” he added. “It’s going to be weird for her.”
Next: Here’s what he thinks of the queen.
4. He doesn’t think Queen Elizabeth ‘serves a practical purpose in the modern era’
When Queen Elizabeth officially became the longest-serving British monarch, a new train line was opened in Scotland to mark the achievement. A CBS news clip claimed, “This day wasn’t about a train. It was about a queen who just keeps chugging along.”
Oliver responded, “You cannot compare Queen Elizabeth to a train. For one thing, people need trains. Trains still serve a practical purpose in the modern era. You’re being mean to trains.”
Next: He compared Kate Middleton and Prince William to this American couple.
5. His comparison of Kate Middleton and Prince William to the Kushners
In April 2017, Oliver compared Kate Middleton and Prince William to Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner. “They’re like America’s William and Kate, except in this case, both of them are attractive,” he said on Last Week Tonight.
Next: He even said this about the birth of Prince George.
6. The birth of Prince George
Oliver couldn’t even help making fun of the royal family when Middleton and William’s first son, Prince George, was born. “That’s right, it was a boy,” Oliver remarked.
“And finally, we have a member of the royal family with an actual excuse for being a toothless, petulant, useless human being … That one could get me into trouble back home.”
Next: This is the one thing he found relevant.
7. He called the queen ‘decorative’
Oliver really doesn’t like Queen Elizabeth. During a Last Week Tonight segment, he called the queen “mostly decorative now.”
He added, “In fact, the most relevant thing she’s done recently was announce that this week, she’s going to visit the Game of Thrones set.”
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