Former ‘Counting On’ Star Derick Dillard Just Revealed One of His Most Controlling Rules Ever

Former Counting On star Derick Dillard has caused a lot of controversy over the years because of his political beliefs and how he chooses to share them. He even lost his job on Counting On because of his transphobic Twitter rant against a transgender teenager and her family.

Derick Dillard and Jill Duggar
Derick Dillard and Jill Duggar | Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra

Now, Dillard is sharing his thoughts on relationships and marriage. And, he revealed that one of his most extreme rules is that he doesn’t allow his wife Jill Duggar to be alone in a room with someone of the opposite gender.

Advice for married couples

Jill Duggar has been sharing all kinds of marriage advice this summer on social media. She wrote a lengthy blog post titled More Than Sex: How To Love Your Husband, and she has also shared pics on Instagram of naughty bedroom games and a picture of a Kama Sutra book.

For some reason, after Duggar gave her advice fans started asking for Dillard’s take on relationships, and he responded by writing the blog post How To Love Your Wife Like You Mean It.

Most of Derick Dillard’s post actually repeated what his wife had written in hers. But, there was one glaring difference. One of the items on Dillard’s list was “Regularly discuss ways you can help each other feel more secure in your relationship and then do it!”

He then went into detail about what he meant and gave examples. Dillard explained that both he and his wife had an internet filtering service on their phones and laptops called Covenant Eyes to limit their accessibility to sites and to keep them accountable to each other. He also revealed that he and his wife share their social media passwords with each other.

One of Derick Dillard’s most controlling rules ever

Another way that Dillard feels more secure in his marriage is by not allowing his wife to be alone in the same room with a man. He does admit that this one “requires more intentionality,” but it can be done.

“For example, if I have a private meeting with a female, I may choose to leave the door open, or if Jill needs a repairman to come work on something at the house when I’m gone then she might invite a friend over while he’s there,” wrote the 30-year-old on the Dillard family blog.

Dillard says that both he and Duggar realize that safeguards alone aren’t enough, and it’s more about their hearts and their commitment to purity. However, this rule does help with reducing the prevalence of some situations, and it also helps them avoid the appearance of evil.

Some of the other advice Derick Dillard gave to husbands was to show affection at home and in public, make time with your family a priority, and to have lots of good sex with your wife (at least five to six times per week).

Debunking Duggar myths

When fans started discussing Dillard’s sex advice on his Instagram page, one fan brought up the problem with having sex five or six times a week without using birth control. The fan asked Dillard how he and Duggar aren’t pregnant again if they are having sex pretty much every day without protection. As all Duggar fans know, the family reportedly doesn’t believe in birth control.

Derick Dillard responded with a surprising answer.

“We never said we don’t believe in birth control,” he told the fan. “Misconception (no pun intended) #547324. My parents waited 11 years to start having kids, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Each Christian family should follow God’s leading for their own family, regarding when and how many kids to have.”

This is a much different response from what the family has said in the past. Jill’s parents Jim Bob and Michelle have spoken out against birth control because they believed it caused a miscarriage. And, Jill and Derick themselves said when they got married that they would have as many kids as God would give them.

This news is a bit of a shock, but it does explain why Dillard and Duggar haven’t announced a pregnancy in more than two years.

New episodes of Counting On will return to TLC in October.