Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton: Co-parenting While Dating
As Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton move further along in their relationship, they will have to learn to balance their love life with the realities of co-parenting. Stefani and her ex-husband, Gavin Rossdale, were rumored to be having a tough time adjusting to co-parenting and their new lives. Could this spell trouble down the road?
What’s the secret to co-parenting with ease? Showbiz Cheat Sheet chatted with Rosalind Sedacca, a divorce and co-parenting coach as well as founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, to learn more about this topic. Sedacca gave us solid advice and weighed in on Stefani and Shelton’s relationship.
Showbiz Cheat Sheet: What’s the key to peaceful co-parenting?
Rosalind Sedacca: You remember to ask yourself the pivotal question: Do I love my kids more than I dislike or hate my ex? Then you step up in making decisions together as co-parents that really put your kids first. You cooperate, you do favors for one another knowing you will need favors in return, you choose your battles wisely and you role model mature behavior for your children to see. You never fight around the kids, never bad-mouth your ex to the kids, never use your kids as your confidants or your spies.
CS: How can you make sure your child isn’t negatively affected by your dating life?
RS: By being honest from the start that your children are vitally important in your life. By choosing a love partner who likes and respects children. By not setting up completion between the kids and your love partner. By not asking your love partner to parent your kids or replace their mom or dad. By separating parenting nights from date nights. By keeping your romance away from the kids until it’s a serious, committed relationship.
CS: What’s your advice for making sure your children feel secure during this transition?
RS: By reminding the kids that no one will replace their mom or dad in their life. By always finding something positive to say about their other parent. By allowing them time to call or interact with their other parent when away from them. By never asking your child to tell you secrets about what goes on in the other parent’s home. By inviting your co-parent to celebrate special occasions with you as a family: holidays, birthdays, graduations, etc.
CS: How can Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale navigate co-parenting successfully?
RS: Stefani and Rossdale would benefit from divorce co-parenting coaching. They both need to answer the questions: Would I be making this same parenting decisions if we were still married? If not, often one parent moves into spiting the other, disrespecting or invalidating the other. Co-parenting is all about mutual cooperation for the benefit of the kids. There are strategies and communication skills that make the process more effective for everyone in the family. They need to seek out support — now!
Our kids learn from watching us tackle life challenges. As parents, we need to step up as true role models and master co-parenting skills because we love our children. That mutual tie is the key to making co-parenting work. Our children will thank us when they are grown.
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