There Is A Hollywood Chris March Madness Bracket And It’s Amazing
The debate of the Hollywood Chrises has generally included those who populate the superhero movie genre: Namely Chris Evans (Captain America), Chris Pratt (Star-Lord), Chris Hemsworth (Thor), and Chris Pine (Steve Trevor — oh, and the voice of the original Peter Parker in Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse). But given the recent animosity toward Pratt, which sort of spiraled after his breakup with Anna Faris and now his engagement to Katherine Schwarzenegger, many have been asking: Who will fill the void?
All of this came to a head perfectly in time for March Madness. Comedy writer and podcaster Zach Heltzel decided to take the debate a step further, creating a bracket titled “The Christening,” in which the top Chris (or Kris, or Christian, or Christopher) in Hollywood will be determined. In addition to the aforementioned big four, there are 60 others in the competition.
Who is in the bracket?
The range of Chrises includes many household names, such as comedian Chris Rock, the only man to ever play Robin onscreen Chris O’Donnell, and Christopher Walken, who needs no introduction. Others are fairly well-known but you may have forgotten their names, like Saturday Night Live alum Chris Parnell and Mr. Big himself, Chris Noth.
There are also behind-the-scenes men like Christopher Guest, the man responsible for mockumentary films like This Is Spinal Tap and For Your Consideration (he’s also married to Jamie Lee Curtis). Musical entries include NSYNC’s Chris Kirkpatrick and Coldplay’s Chris Martin. And then there are those who completely fell off your radar, like Christopher Mintz-Plasse (McLovin’ from Superbad) and Chris Colfer of Glee fame.
Additionally, there are a few names that you wouldn’t typically call Chrises. Oscar-winner Christoph Waltz qualifies, as does frequent shapeshifter Christian Bale. Recent Golden Globe-winner Kris Kristofferson made the bracket, and, in a shocking twist no one saw coming, Topher Grace, as his stage name is a nickname taken from his given name, Christopher.
There has been some controversy
No bracket would be complete without debate as to who has or hasn’t made the cut. Many expressed anger that Chris Pang, who recently got his big break in Crazy Rich Asians, wasn’t included. This was quickly rectified: Heltzel had Pang replace Chris Brown, who has been effectively canceled for some time now.
Heltzel explained his process, which stipulated that all Chrises must be currently living. However, he named the brackets after Chrises who have passed, including comedian Chris Farley and Superman actor Christopher Reeve.
Who will win the bracket?
As of March 3, 2019, the bracket is still in its first round, so it’s anyone’s game. Will one of the primary Chrises take the crown, or will it go to a more surprising entry, like beloved actor Crispin Glover or The Mindy Project’s leading man Chris Messina, who has more than proven his eligibility with his dancing alone? One thing is certain: This is the March Madness bracket that we’ve needed for some time, and by the end of the month, we’ll know who the best Chris in entertainment is without a doubt.