Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin: Did They Get Married Too Soon?
Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin made headlines after giving a very intimate interview in Vogue. The couple offered a look into their personal lives and made some very uncomfortable confessions. Hailey admitted marriage is hard and Justin admitted he had a problem with sex addiction.
One thing that stood out is the newlyweds already seem to be having marital issues. Justin and Hailey dated for only two months before getting engaged. They married a short time later. Could part of the problem be that the pair got married too soon? How long should you wait before getting engaged? The Cheat Sheet spoke with relationship expert April Masini to get some answers. Here’s what she had to say about when it makes sense to get engaged.
The Cheat Sheet: Generally, how long should a couple date before getting engaged?
April Masini: Every couple and every situation is different, but if you want to generalize, I’d say one year is the right amount of time to date, given you’re not fresh off a divorce or a breakup. A year gives most people time to get to know each other, each other’s friends and families, and situations that arise during the course of most long-term relationships — like going through illness, fender benders, family issues, holiday seasons, tax seasons, vacations, money transactions, etc. These all sound mundane in a laundry list, but when you live through them with a partner, you get to know how you and your partner react and act in these specific situations that can be deal breakers.
The Cheat Sheet: What are some drawbacks of getting engaged too quickly?
April Masini: Whirlwind romances are fun and romantic, but they’re not always great tests of longevity. When you see a partner doesn’t pay taxes and doesn’t really give a hoot about that issue — you may realize you’re with someone who handles money and responsibility very differently than you do. In fact, seeing your partner do Thanksgiving, handle family conflicts, understand how they will treat you when you’re sick, or how they will expect you to treat them when they’re sick, are all things you learn over time with a partner. Giving yourselves time, and not rushing is a gift to yourselves and to the relationship.
The Cheat Sheet: What are some signs that you should break off an engagement?
April Masini: If your partner has a toxic relationship with an adult child or an ex with whom they share a child, beware. In-laws and children (as well as exes with whom your partner may share children) can all create deal breakers for you. So, if you see any abuse or abuse being condoned, in these relationships, it’s time to break off the engagement. In addition, finances are a big issue for couples, and it’s easy to overlook money in a relationship when there’s not time to see how you and your partner handle saving, spending, potential retirement planning, estate planning, bill paying, etc. When you see a partner who is super stingy, you may want to end things. If someone is stingy with a waiter or waitress, that’s insight into their character.
Check out The Cheat Sheet on Facebook!