6 Movies You Should Not Take Your Date to See

So date night is approaching and your significant other is expecting you to pick the movie. While there are countless films that you could choose to add a bit of romance to your evening, today’s mission is to educate you on which films are so spectacularly wrong for date night viewing that they’re almost certain to spoil the mood. For the record, we’re focusing this list on relatively recent releases that offer dark, cynical takes on romance, love, and relationships. We’re not saying that any of these are bad movies but simply that their messages represents the antithesis of what qualifies as appropriate date night viewing.

1. Closer (2004)

Since the point of date night is to cultivate an atmosphere of trust and affection, you probably want to opt for a film that doesn’t actively depict the emotional trauma and complicated trust issues inherent in loving someone. Despite the presence of romantic leads like Julia Roberts and Jude Law, this Mike Nichols drama few positive things to say about relationships and won’t help you win over your beloved. In fact, it might have your date giving you the side-eye by the end of it. Even if the questions Closer raises are intriguing to you, its ironic title may drive a wedge between you and your date, especially if your relationship is in the early stages.

2. Revolutionary Road (2008)

Oh, Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet together again! This has to be a beautiful love story and a perfect selection for date night, right? Wrong. Though the Titanic stars reunite for this Sam Mendes (American Beauty) release, there’s no aspect of this love story that is romanticized. In fact, the film’s focus appears to be on how difficult it is to sustain love and marriage, and how a couple may come to feel trapped by the bond they share. No matter how faithful the film is to the 1961 Richard Yates novel on which it is based, it’s not exactly the vibe you want when you’re in the midst of a budding romance.

3. Antichrist (2009)

As if its ominous title isn’t already a red flag, this Lars von Trier film (there’s another red flag right there) centers on a grieving married couple (Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg) who escape to a cabin to try and salvage their failing marriage. From its bleak outlook on relationships to its incredibly bizarre and violent imagery, this isn’t a film that is well suited for date night. In fact, it may not only ruin any chances of romance but could easily become one of those films that you’ll wish you could erase from your mind entirely. Better steer clear of this one at all costs. Experimental horror in general is a good thing to avoid on romantic evenings.

4. (500) Days of Summer (2009)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays a man reeling from a breakup with the titular Summer (Zooey Deschanel). The film chronicles their relationship in non-linear fashion, spanning from their first meeting to their final farewell. Though the performances are strong and the story incredibly rich and true-to-life, the message of director Marc Webb’s film is that some love stories just aren’t meant to me. While that’s an oddly reassuring sentiment for single viewers, it doesn’t set the right tone for a date night.

5. Blue Valentine (2010)

Ryan Gosling may have headlined one of the most popular modern movie romances in The Notebook, but his work in Blue Valentine opposite Michelle Williams is far from a Nicholas Sparks story. The film simultaneously follows a couple during their initial courtship as well as in the final throes of their doomed marriage. The result is a film that is just as joyless and difficult to watch as you might imagine, despite the movie’s rave reviews and awards recognition for the actors’ performances. A character study of toxic relationships, this is precisely the wrong type of film you should be taking in with that special someone. Maybe just put The Notebook on again instead?

6. Gone Girl (2014)

Yikes. This David Fincher film might manage to scare both you and your date out of the concept of marriage. If that’s what you’re hoping to achieve, give Gone Girl a whirl. If not, then this story about one of the most horrifically dysfunctional marriages ever put to film is a terrible choice for your next date night. Still, Rosamund Pike and Ben Affleck shine, and Gillian Flynn’s screenplay effectively adapts her novel. Just wait to watch this one when you’re single or when your relationship is on more solid footing.

Follow Robert Yaniz Jr. on Twitter @CrookedTable

Check out Entertainment Cheat Sheet on Facebook!       

More from Entertainment Cheat Sheet: