Nikka Bella Speaks on Postpartum Depression and Artem Chigvintsev’s ‘DWTS’ Partner: ‘People Have Been Worried About Me’
Total Bellas star Nikki Bella is getting into the groove of motherhood after welcoming son Mateo in July with her fiancé, Dancing with the Stars pro Artem Chigvintsev. In recent episodes of her The Total Bellas podcast with twin sister, Brie Bella, the former WWE star opened up on several topics.
With her fiancé coupled with an attractive partner on Dancing With the Stars while she’s dealing with postpartum depression, Bella talked through some very personal challenges in her journey as a mother.
Nikki Bella heads to LA to be with ‘DWTS’ star
Bella recently headed out to Los Angeles to join Chigvintsev while he competes on Season 29 of Dancing With the Stars. Solo with her son since her fiancé’s departure in August, Bella described how the mounting challenges finally caught up with her.
“This past week, Brie and I, we were in Phoenix packing up our homes, filming Total Bellas,” Bella said on the Sept. 30 podcast, according to E! Online. “I had Matteo on my own; still had a whole house to pack up—I did have help on that, but you still have to do so much—filming on top of it, and I had a massive breakdown.”
Recently hiring someone to help her with childcare, Bella was feeling guilty for not doing everything herself.
“Sometimes it’s hard not to get mom guilt,” the reality star admitted. “Or feel like I’m just a failure as a mom when I’m not giving him those things. … I’m letting someone else do it and he’s fussy and he’s crying and he’s upset.”
‘Total Bellas’ star tried to handle her feelings on her own
With her independent nature and competitive personality, Bella chose to keep her feelings to herself despite her emotions piling up.
“People have been worried about me,” she revealed. “I’m like, why? I don’t think Artem’s gonna cheat, or hook up. I’m not jealous so why do I feel this way? And it is crazy, all of a sudden I started to realize I’m falling into a postpartum depression.”
Wanting to support Chigvintsev on his pursuit of the Mirrorball trophy with partner Kaitlyn Bristowe, Bella avoided telling him of her struggles.
“I am such a pleaser and I try to be a perfect girlfriend or a perfect fiancée. So I act extra supportive even if something’s bothering me deep down inside,” the former WWE star explained.. “I just wanted to be supportive of him because I want him to win the Mirrorball trophy—Artem definitely deserves it, Kailtyn deserves it. … So I was hiding all this.”
Nikki Bella on seeing Artem Chigvintsev dance with ‘The Bachelorette’
Thankfully, Bella finally revealed her feelings to Chigvintsev and the two have committed to understanding each other’s communication styles. While Bella continues to root for her fiancé in the dance competition, she previously admitted to comparing herself to Chigvintsev’s onscreen partner.
“The postpartum stuff kicks in because it’s like, you know, they get to be just twirled and dipped by your man,” she said in her podcast of Chigvintsev’s dance mate. “Then it’s like, gosh, her legs look great and she’s beautiful and … wow, her body! And then you kind of glance in the mirror and you see the bags under your eyes and your hair’s like up in a bun everywhere. I had a big mumu on with a boob hanging out with, like, leaking milk from my nipple.”
Watching her fiancé with Bristowe sometimes made Bella view herself with a critical eye.
“I was like wow, he’s gonna come home,” she said. “Do I need to do something to myself because he was just dancing with that and now he’s coming back to this?”
Bella decided to focus on her future husband’s joy of being back on the dance floor rather than hold herself under scrutiny.
“To see him perform… his smile could not get any bigger,” Bella shared. “You just felt his excitement and his love and his passion and more than anything, his happiness.”