The Most Ridiculously Over-the-Top Items in Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop Holiday Gift Guide

It’s easy to rag on Gwyneth Paltrow and her lifestyle brand Goop.

Since the site launched in 2008, the actress and businesswoman has promoted a “surprisingly affordable yacht rental service.” She’s raved about the potentially dangerous practice of vaginal steaming. And she’s hawked jade “yoni eggs” for vaginas that are supposed to help balance hormones and regulate menstrual cycles. (That claim drew the attention of government lawyers, who accused her company of misleading consumers.)

Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth Paltrow | Amy Sussman/FilmMagic

The sometimes bizarre, occasionally tone-deaf guidance from Goop extends to the site’s annual holiday gift guides. Sure, there are some fun (and budget-friendly) items on Paltrow’s lists, such as a $15 wine and cheese pairing swatchbook or a cute $13 go-fish card game to play with your kids. But as Goop itself admits, there are plenty of “ridiculous” gifts suggestions, as well. Here are a few of the most over-the-top ideas.

A ‘luxe’ fire extinguisher 

Most people have safety, not style, in mind when buying a fire extinguisher. But if the standard red model doesn’t cut it, Goop suggests wrapping up the $250 Luxe Brass Fire Extinguisher from Safe-T. 

A really expensive custom photo book

If a custom photo book from Shutterfly isn’t up to your standards, Goop has a solution. The artists at That Book will craft a “luxury heirloom object,” creating a beautiful book out of your memories. The photographers will even join in on a family trip or other occasion to document the event — for a price starting at $75,000.

A year’s worth of vacations 

polar bear
A polar bear on an ice floe in the Arctic Ocean | Lev FedoseyevTASS via Getty Images

For the nature lover on your list, you can give them 12 endangered species-focused trips from bespoke travel company Momentum Adventure. The cost? A cool $1.3 million. Be sure to throw in a few (OK, a lot of) carbon offsets from Terrapass to make up for all that flying (at $4.99 per 1,000 pounds).

A trip to the moon

Go above and beyond (literally) with your gift-giving when you present your loved one with a trip to space on Virgin Galactic. Prices start at $250,000, but all seats on the first flights (which are set to take place sometime in 2020) have been sold. 

A $500 coffeemaker

Goop promises that the Ratio Eight Smart Coffee Maker is “idiotproof.” With a price tag of $495, we’d hope so. According to Goop, it’s “a tech-packed countertop barista with a control board laser-focused on delivering the perfect brew.”

A $1,500 version of a classic kids’ game 

You can pick up a Connect Four game at Target for less than $7. But Goop gives its endorsement to the Four in a Row Wonderstone Marble Set from Edie Parker. The $1,495 game takes “the classic four-in-a-row game from family camp to yacht cabin.” 

Toilet paper ‘with a conscience’

A simple roll of Charmin doesn’t cut it for Paltrow, apparently. She recommends the $34, 24-roll package of No. 2 Toilet Paper. The “toilet paper with a conscience” is made with “100% sustainable bamboo,” per Goop, and comes in “chic dark floral packaging.” Just what everyone wants to find under the tree on Christmas morning. 

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