The One Reason You Shouldn’t Take Jill Duggar’s Marriage Advice

Jill Duggar took to her family blog in early June to dull out marriage advice. The mother of two has been married to her husband, Derick Dillard since 2014. While Jill and Derick enjoyed a short courtship and a quick trip down the aisle, things haven’t always seemed great between the couple. Both Jill and Derick have gotten flack for everything from their personal views, to how they raise their kids, to how they’ve chosen to budget their money. In fact, some fans have wondered if there is trouble in paradise. Jill wants the world to know everything is on the up and up in her bedroom, though, but some experts suggest taking Jill’s sex advice might not be the best idea.

What advice did Jill Duggar offer to married couples?

Five years into a marriage and two kids later, Jill Duggar thinks she has everything all figured out. While her husband is busy at law school, Jill is at home with their two children. In between baking up inedible treats, she posts to Instagram and dulls out advice on her family’s blog. Her most recent advice post suggests that it is a woman’s job to keep her husband satisfied in the biblical way.

The mother of two suggested women should make themselves available, buy sexy lingerie, and keep things spicy and exciting. In the blog post, she also advised against indulging in sexual fantasies as a solo activity and strongly encourages women to pander to their husband’s desires, whenever possible.

Why is Jill Duggar’s advice terrible?

Jill’s advice isn’t exactly bad, but Parade notes that several items could be problematic. A Sex therapist speaking with the publication notes that having regular sex, in and of itself, isn’t a bad piece of advice, but also notes it’s only beneficial if both partners want it. She notes that while creating time for intimacy within a marriage is imperative to its success, the onus cannot be left only on the wife, which is what Duggar suggests in her lengthy blog post.

The therapist, Dr. Jane Greer, also goes on to suggest that Duggar constructs a scenario in which the wife alone is responsible for assessing and being open to the needs of her partner. The therapist warns that this can lead to feelings of guilt and resentment. Neither emotion is beneficial to a marriage

Dr. Greer goes on to remark that Jill is entirely unrealistic. The idea of forcing oneself into a sexual situation simply to fulfill a duty is not only unrealistic but could be damaging.  Jill’s advice also places unnecessary stress on one party. A marriage should focus on communicating needs as a team.

If something goes awry it creates a scenario in which the wife may be blamed for the indiscretions of the husband. Some fans have feared that Anna Duggar was treated as part of the problem when Joshua Duggar admitted to cheating.

Her sentiments are not uncommon in her religious sect

While Jill made waves with her post, it’s not the first time a Duggar woman has offered such advice. Way back in 2015, Michelle Duggar published a blog post that detailed how to keep a marriage happy and healthy. Among her tidbits of advice was the concept of making oneself “joyfully available.”

For those not in the know, this is not a unique concept for women inside the ultra-conservative Christian sect that the Duggar family belongs to. Being joyfully available essentially suggests that a woman should put aside her concerns and maintain a sexual relationship with her husband no matter what. Duggar’s advice also included only praising your partner when in public. She notes that they “praise in public, and correct in private.”