The Real Reason Jill Duggar and Derick Dillard Weren’t at the Duggar Valentine’s Day Get-Together

Since the early days of 19 Kids and Counting, we’ve been keeping up with the Duggar family and their traditions for years. Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are the parents of 19 children, and thanks to their hit series on TLC, we’ve gotten to see what a day in the life of a Duggar is really like. Not only do they have bizarre courting rituals and dressing practices, but they have plenty of holiday traditions that they love to participate in as a family, too.

This year, we’re seeing an entirely new Duggar tradition for Valentine’s Day — but many fans noticed Jill Duggar and her controversial husband, Derick Dillard, weren’t a part of it. Here’s why.

Jana Duggar posted about the new Valentine’s Day tradition on Instagram

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Our family is trying to start a new tradition for Valentines Day (which we celebrated a few days early). This year we each drew a name and wrote a meaningful note to that person about their character, what they truly mean to us and tried to express from our heart how much we genuinely love and care about them. I think each of my family members would say, this by far was one of the most meaningful times we’ve had together as a family. We took time to go around the room and read the notes out loud to the person we had written them to and expounded a little more on it. There were many tears shed and much joyful laughter. The saying goes, “actions speak louder than words” but I have to say sometimes that’s not always true, for in our day and age I feel we’ve forgotten to express love through our words. If you’re hardly ever speaking words of life and love, but rather tend to speak harsh words or only doing “actions” by giving material things or gifts to others, how will they truly know if you love them? We must remember to say the words “I love you” often and thoughtfully tell others the things we appreciate and admire about them. I think genuine, loving words, saying what that person means to you can speak louder than actions. Most of us tend to be caught up in our daily tasks and jobs and I think forget to express this to others. I challenge you, go and write a meaningful note to someone you love, (or you need to love) and share positive, encouraging words and how that person has impacted your life in a positive way. Trust me, everyone hears enough negative things in their life and how they need to do things better, but rarely do they hear the positive things that encourage them. Be the positive voice in others lives, you may just be the one to change their life for the better and impact them for eternity. The power of an encouraging word is far greater than any material gift — chocolate that will melt, flowers that will wilt, or other material gifts that will fade away. Words will live on forever and can impact a person towards life or death. So when we speak let’s be careful in what we say. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue…” Prov.‬ ‭18:21‬

A post shared by Jana Duggar (@janamduggar) on

Jana Duggar may be a newcomer to Instagram, but she’s already posting some insider info regarding her family that fans are completely interested in. For Valentine’s Day, she added a photo of her mother, Michelle, Jessa and Ben Seewald, and a few of her other brothers and sisters to her page with a comment on what the family was up to. “Our family is trying to start a new tradition for Valentines Day (which we celebrated a few days early),” she captioned the post. Jana then went on to explain that their new tradition involved everyone drawing a name and writing a note to the person they picked. The note to the family member was to hold a meaningful message about how much they truly mean to the person who wrote it. “I think each of my family members would say, this by far was one of the most meaningful times we’ve had together as a family,” she added.

Jana then continued on with how important it is to speak the words “I love you” to your friends and family to remind them verbally how much they mean to you. “I think genuine, loving words, saying what that person means to you can speak louder than actions,” she wrote. And many of her followers loved this idea, too. “This is such a wonderful idea…and I had a name immediately pop into my head. I am definitely going to do this!” one follower commented.

Here’s why she said the Dillards weren’t a part of the fun

In Touch Weekly notes many of the Duggars were in attendance for this new tradition, as family time is incredibly important to them. Joy-Anna Duggar and her husband, Austin, were clearly there, as she commented on Jana’s post, “It sure was fun!! And I agree, one of the best family nights yet!!!” And even Josh Duggar, who’s been the center of controversy for years, was there to celebrate the family fun with his wife, Anna. John David and wife Abbie also chimed in and said they hoped to make it a tradition for years to come.

Fans noticed a few family members were missing, though. We know Jinger lives in Texas with her husband, so she understandably couldn’t make it — but what about Jill Duggar and husband Derick Dillard? When one fan asked where Jill was, Jana commented back, “With the size of our family it’s hard to get everyone together at the same time. It was kinda a last minute get together as well, so sadly some already had prior commitments.”

Could Derick’s controversies of the past have something to do with it?

It’s totally possible Jill and Derick had something else planned that night, as they have a busy life and children of their own to attend to. But there’s also something else to consider — and that’s Derick’s controversial past that may have tarnished the Duggar name. Entertainment Tonight reminds us Jill and Derick were kicked off of Counting On after Derick posted transphobic tweets regarding fellow TLC star Jazz Jennings. And he’s also tweeted inflammatory comments about gay couple Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent from Nate & Jeremiah by Design. It’s possible that due to the hateful commentary, Jill and Derick are choosing to keep a low profile.

This isn’t the first time fans have noticed Jill and Derick have been missing from Duggar family events, either, which has many fans wondering what’s really going on. Some believe Derick’s trouble with TLC caused a rift between him and Jill’s parents, too, which could be another reason the couple didn’t attend the Valentine’s Day celebration.

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