This Is the Hardest Thing About Parenting, According to Busy Philipps
Busy Philipps really lives up to her name because that’s often what she is…busy!
That was all the truer after she gave birth to her daughters Birdie, now 11, and Cricket, now 6.
Philipps and her husband, writer and producer Marc Silverstein, recently sat down with Harper’s Bazaar to talk about the way they’ve built their marriage back up after it fell on some hard times a few years back.
The subject of parenting came up because navigating those new roles was apparently a pretty hard road at first for the couple and played a big part in the marriage struggles they had to overcome.
So what did Philipps say was the hardest thing about parenting and how did it put such a big strain on her marriage to Silverstein?
Becoming parents made Philipps and Silverstein’s marriage evolve
When their daughters came along, Philipps and Silverstein had a hard time dividing up the parenting duties equally. Specifically, Philipps says she was at her wit’s end because even though she was super busy with lots of projects at the time (like Cougar Town), she didn’t really feel like Silverstein was truly pulling his weight.
As she told Harper’s Bazaar, “Marc was like, ‘I’ll do anything.’ And I was like, ‘Okay, then do everything. Because I have done it all, all by myself, and I’m done, dude.”
When things were really bad, Philipps was so frustrated with her husband that she nearly left him. She even asked him for a divorce but he begged for another chance.
“I was fully out the door,” Philipps confessed. “I wasn’t expecting anything from him, but what we ended up doing was creating our own system.” If they seem really happy today, it’s because they worked so hard to find a new stride together.
The couple had to figure out how to share parenting duties
Once things came to a head, Silverstein offered to be the one who stayed home with the girls so that Philipps could keep working at a steady pace. It was a hard adjustment for him at first but now the couple says it works out really well.
As Philipps explained, “He now loves his mornings with the girls,” adding that “He has conversations with them that I’m jealous of. The closeness he has with these girls, it’s really special.”
For Silverstein’s part, he admits that part of the reason he wasn’t holding up his end of the responsibility at the start was that he felt anxious about the idea that might not have the necessary skills to be a good parent.
Silverstein remarked, “Once I figured out what I could bring to the table, things changed. I wanted to do more.”
It’s a good thing he did because it probably saved his marriage — and set a good example for his daughters.
Philipps said: “I want everything for my girls, but the only way they’re going to believe it’s possible for them is if they see me have it.”
Having a partner like Silverstein who is willing to step up to the plate and truly share parenting responsibilities makes it easier for her to do just that.
A famous friend helped them keep the marriage together
When times were tough, Philipps leaned on her good friend Michelle Williams for support. In her memoir This Will Only Hurt A Little, Philipps mentioned how her famous bestie supported her if she wanted to leave but also encouraged her to stay if she wanted to.
Williams reportedly told Philipps, “If you can keep your family intact, I think you should do it.” Sounds like incredible advice, and we’re glad Philipps took it because she and Silverstein seem so happy together today.