Why Lady Gaga Sees ‘Pain’ When She Looks At Her Oscar For ‘Shallow’

When Lady Gaga looks at the Oscar she won for “Shallow,” she doesn’t see her accomplishment–she sees pain.

Lady Gaga | Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
Lady Gaga | Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

Oprah Winfrey recently interviewed Gaga for Elle, and the women spoke about how the singer’s past traumas played a role in bringing the character of Ally to life.

Why playing Ally in ‘A Star In Born’ was so emotionally trying for Lady Gaga

Gaga told Winfrey that it was hard for her to let go of Ally, even well after filming had ended.

“The character of Ally stayed with me for a long time. I had to relive a lot of my career doing that role. I don’t know how you feel when you’ve acted, but for me, I don’t view it as filming a movie. I film it as living the character, and it’s a moment in my life, so I relived it all again, and it took a long time for it to go away,” she said.

“When I won the Oscar for “Shallow,” I looked at it, and a reporter asked me, ‘When you look at that Oscar, what do you see?’ And I said, ‘I see a lot of pain.’ And I wasn’t lying in that moment,” she continued.

Gaga goes on to share her severe history with sexual assault. Playing the role of Ally brought back painful memories for her.

“I have been traumatized in a variety of ways by my career over the years from many different things, but I survived, and I’ve kept going. And when I looked at that Oscar, I saw pain. I don’t know that anyone understood it when I said it in the room, but I understood it,” she said.

Lady Gaga hopes her pain and her story give people hope

Gaga hopes her painful past, and her drive to keep going, can inspire others who are struggling.

“I kept going, and that kid out there or even that adult out there who’s been through so much, I want them to know that they can keep going, and they can survive, and they can win their Oscar,” she said.

From an early point in Gaga’s career, she’s been an advocate of kindness and asking for help.

“I would also beckon to anyone to try, when they feel ready, to ask for help. And I would beckon to others that if they see someone suffering, to approach them and say, ‘Hey, I see you. I see that you’re suffering, and I’m here. Tell me your story,'” she said.

“I once believed that there was no way back from my trauma. I really did. I was in physical, mental, and emotional pain. And medicine works, but you need medicine with the therapy for it to really work, because there’s a part that you have to do yourself,” Gaga continued.

In true Winfrey fashion, she ended the interview by asking Gaga what she believes life is asking of us.

“I believe life is asking of us to accept the challenge. Accept the challenge of kindness. It’s hard in a world the way that we are; we have a very, very grave history. We’re in trouble, and we have been before. But I think life asks us amid these challenges, this hatred, this tragedy, this famine, this war, this cruelty: Can you be kind and can you survive?” she answered.

Read more: Lady Gaga is Setting up Mental Health First Aid Training Programs for High Schoolers