10 Fashion Trends You Should Never Follow
Fashion trends are classified as such for a reason. They come and go, and when they do, they leave us asking ourselves: What the hell were we thinking? We’ve all been there, thinking that we can either, a) pull the trend off, or b) not have a regretful hangover type of shame after giving some fashion trends a go — a fashion hangover, if you will. Over the past decade we have seen some of the most interesting and innovative trends that just do not work — no matter who you are and how fashionable you may be. Here are 10 fashion trends we should all collectively erase from our stream of consciousness.
1. Suit jackets with shorts instead of trousers
This trend looks like something a man-child would wear. It also gives off the impression that you went to put on your suit, realized you were late, and ran out the door in your boxers but somehow managed to remember to put your suit jacket on. There is no practical application of the suit jacket and matching shorts, even though it’s been seen in many designer collections. This is a cute look for schoolboys, but you’re a gentlemen and wearing this will never be professionally acceptable.
2. Super skinny pants
Reserved only for Russell Brand, because he is the only man who has been able to pull off this trend. When I refer to super skinny jeans or trousers, I’m not talking about the ones that are sold at Gap, I am talking about skin tight, all the way down to the ankle pants — not those designed to make you look slim. Not only do they not look comfortable but they make the people that look at you while wearing them uncomfortable. They’re also a little dangerous for your nether regions.
I don’t know how to stress this enough: It is never, ever, ever OK to wear crocs. I don’t care where you are or what kind of work you’re doing at the moment, never wear them. Throw them out. Burn them. Bury them somewhere. I’ve seen them mostly at the beach, when people garden, or cooks who wear them in restaurant kitchens — I get it, but no. You can find something else to wear.
4. Levered sunglasses
These babies were first seen on Kanye West at a 2008 Grammy performance. These definitely shouldn’t be worn any other time except during a performance when it’s beneficial to actually not see the audience in front of you. I remember these also being given out as party favors. They are impractical, silly, and look like you’re wearing window blinds over your eyes.
5. Belted jackets and coats
As a style for women, yes, because the only reason to have a belt on a jacket or belt your jacket is to accentuate your womanly curves. This is something that men don’t have to worry about. You’re not going on a 1920’s safari expedition anytime soon or traveling to uncover the ruins of Ancient Egypt, so, no.
6. Big 80s Hair
This says it all: It should have been left in the 80s. Although it was a defining style trend at the time, it doesn’t translate well for 2015 men. It has been seen on some runaways, but again, many styles and trends you see on the runway don’t translate well for everyday wear. It just makes you look kind of crazy.
7. Deep v-neck tees and sweaters
This is a very “hey, look at me!” sort of trend. They can actually be sort of flattering and sexy on a man with a perfect physique and no upper body hair, but unfortunately this is not the majority of the population (and that’s OK). It’s a very feminine trend, which, again, is OK, but maybe try not as deep a V, Tony Manero, circa Saturday Night Fever — OK?
8. Trademark patterns on clothing
There are many classic brands that are known for their logos and trademark patterns: think Louis Vuitton, Coach, Fendi, Burberry, Gucci, etc. These companies make ties, belts, and bags with their proprietary logos patterns, but once these logos make it to your clothing, you look like a walking advertisement for the company. We get you’re into designer brands — it’s all over your shirt, it’s also a little snooty, not to mention tacky to wear.
9. Plaid flannel
This is the least offensive of all of these styles. It was at the fashion helm of the 90s grunge movement, which had an incredible impact on music and style, however, this look can be construed as messy. It’s sort of a sloppy lumberjack look, which almost encourages lack of concern for one’s appearance, so proceed with caution.
Metallic shoes, bags, and belts were a huge trend for women, but once it crossed over into menswear collections, it just didn’t translate as well. And it still doesn’t. If you have a hankering to wear gold clothing, wait until Halloween to whip it out and wear in public.