Order a shot of bourbon or a pint of craft beer — straight from your bathroom cabinet with these grooming must-haves that are under the influence of something a bit stronger than your run-of-the-mill shea butter and jojoba oil.
Drunken though they may be, this range of suspiciously strong products pack a punch, and they will leave you wondering why you ever questioned the viability of a grooming regimen that goes beyond your basic razor and drugstore bar of soap.
1. Blind Barber Watermint Gin Facial Cleanser
If a gin and tonic is your drink of choice, then you may want to consider Blind Barber’s own version of the crisp, juniper berry liquor. The Watermint Gin Facial Cleanser pairs mint, caffeine, and juniper extract for an energizing, brisk sensation that is certain to be a coolly refreshing wake-up call every morning. Blind Barber also has a Watermint Gin Shave Cream and an Aftershave Soother should you care for a double — or a triple.
2. (Malin + Goetz) Mojito Lip Balm
When you have a balm option that softens your lips, prevents chapping, and tastes like your favorite drink, then why would you use anything else? Precisely! Have your mojito and wear it, too, with Malin + Goetz’s mojito lip balm that’s as restoring and replenishing as it is deliciously refreshing. Fair warning, though, the balm may cause frequent reapplication to your buzzed lips.
3. Carlsberg Beer’d Beauty
Love your lagers? Pop the top on Carlsberg’s Beer’d Beauty series. Spring for the product kit, which consists of a shaving gel, aftershave cream, and a moustache cream, with each bottle infused with freeze-dried Carlsberg beer. Those hops boast a range of antioxidants and antibacterial acids to help grow and groom great beards and moustaches. Even better? Proceeds from the kit’s sales go to the Movember foundation. So, you can really shave responsibly — even if your grooming products are over the limit.
4. Das Boom Industries Everywhere Lotion
If a body lotion could get a MUI (moisturizing under the influence), then Das Boom Industries’ Everywhere Lotion would be guilty. Choose from spirits-infused scents including the exotic West Indies, which is inspired by nights carousing in the Caribbean. It features essences of Bay rum, smoke, and dirt for an earthy yet refreshing finish. Don’t blame us if it induces a bit of carousing of your own. You might also want to consider the Bourbon County, which is influenced by the birthplace of America’s whiskey. It’s a heady blend of bourbon and leather yielding a warm and smoky aroma with a hint of Southern sweetness. These all-over moisturizers are a cocktail that you’ll want to pour all over your body morning, noon, and night. It’s five o’clock somewhere, right?
5. Sorachi Ace Beer Soap
Handmade in Brooklyn, New York with Brooklyn Brewery’s Sorachi Ace beer and malt grain, this bar soap is just the thing for anyone with a taste for a craft brew. Plus, the soap is infused with an enticing scent of lemongrass and cedar to complement that Sorachi Ace.
6. Damn Handsome Old-School Shave Cream and Aftershave Gel
You’ll be looking damn handsome — no beer goggles required — with this Old-School Shave Cream. It’s a natural-based, nourishing formula with organic hops that help calm irritated skin while a fresh blend of oils leave an earthy, clean scent. American Ale delivers classic notes of sandalwood, cedar, and white musk while Hoppy Mint features cooler notes of mint and eucalyptus. Scotch Ale is a bold choice with tobacco, all-spice, and mandarin. Oh, and don’t forget the aftershave; the matching beer-infused gels top off that shave. Just don’t shave under the influence.
7. Blind Barber 90 Proof Hair Wax
The ultimate fusion of barbershop and bar, Blind Barber’s moonshine-inspired paste promises to keep your hair in check. The high-hold wax is infused with a swig of hops, which acts as a natural thickening agent and dandruff-fighting antiseptic, along with sweet almond protein and keratin to condition the hair for a natural-looking hold.
8. EastWest Bottlers Moonshine Cologne
Tap into your inner rebel, and wear EastWest Bottlers Moonshine cologne. The fragrance itself should barely be considered legal, what with its courageous cocktail of tobacco, leather, and gin, plus spicy top notes of black pepper and patchouli. The small burlap sack and a wooden storage box only makes it all the more authentic. Oh, and EastWest also has a Moonshine soap and aftershave balm — if you’re so inclined. And, we have a feeling you will be.