We live in an age of advanced technology. Our phones let us summon practically any piece of information in seconds, or you can tap into a livestream to see what’s happening right now all over the world. These things would seem like magic to people living 100 years ago. But not all tech products are so convenient and game-changing. Some are pointless or come with features no one really needs. Those are the gadgets we’ve gathered below. From the silly to the downright stupid, these are the most ridiculous new tech products no one should buy.
1. CHiP Smart Cookie Oven
Celebrity chef Alton Brown has long cautioned viewers against buying what he calls “unitaskers,” or kitchen items that only have a single specialized use. There’s just not enough space in most kitchens to accommodate things like avocado slicers and breakfast sandwich makers. The CHiP Smart Cookie Oven is another such unitasker. It’s a sizable device designed to make small batches of cookies.
While that sounds nice enough (who wouldn’t go for a fresh, warm cookie right now?), it’s not the kind of thing most of us should dedicate a portion of our kitchen counter to. It’s also needlessly technological. CHiP provides an accompanying app that lets you scan special CHiP dough packets to tell the machine how to cook its single-serving cookies. It’s like the cookie equivalent of a K-Cup. Unless you want to gain weight and waste precious counter space, you should probably skip this one, even if it does resemble WALL-E’s friend EVE.
2. Sister Schubert’s Basket of Warmth
The dinner roll company Sister Schubert’s has done the traditional bread basket one better. How could one improve on a basket, you might ask? By slapping some USB ports on it, of course.
Billed as a device to “help families disconnect from technology and reconnect with each other,” the Basket of Warmth charges your family’s phones while you eat. That’s really all there is to it. I’m sure it’s tough to sell a traditional bread basket these days, but I’m not sure the USB gimmick here is enough to entice people to buy it. If only it could bake cookies, too ….
3. Coke’s selfie bottle
The marketing team over at Coca-Cola Israel has whipped up a silly-looking Coke bottle that has a camera built into it, Fox News reports. When you tip the bottle 70 degrees, it snaps a picture of your soda-chugging face. You can then post those pictures to social networks so your friends can see how your face looks when you’re swigging sweet cola. Just make sure not to laugh while you do it. You wouldn’t want a picture of Coke squirting out your nose to accidentally post on Facebook.
4. TAO Chair
If you sit in a normal chair throughout the day, you’re wasting your time when you could be burning calories. That’s where the TAO Chair comes in. Thanks to the hardened, curving swaths of leather that comprise its arm rests, you can press your legs and arms into the chair to perform isometric exercise as you sit. Since the chair doesn’t move when you do this, other people may wonder why you’re sweating so much.
Being a tech product, the chair has built-in sensors that can track the pressure you apply and count the calories you burn. You can view this information on a display in the arm rest, or you can track it on an app. Or you could just buy an exercise bike like a normal person.
5. Onvi Prophix toothbrush
We’ve all seen electric toothbrushes before, but this $400 beauty goes one giant step beyond the capabilities of the competition. It has a built-in camera that lets you get up close and personal with your molars. Using an app on your phone, you can watch a video feed of your toothbrushing sessions in real time and snap pictures of anything concerning you want to bring up with your dentist at your next visit.
If the idea of seeing your dental nooks and crannies in extreme close-up doesn’t appeal to you, you should probably just visit your dentist every six months and let the professionals handle it.