How to Shave Your Beard Like a Badass
If you want to look like a badass, proper facial grooming is essential. A man’s beard says many things about him. Having a beard that looks professional and rugged is difficult. Make it look too messy, and you run the risk of being mocked. Too many sharp razor lines and you better have a suit of armor, Tony Stark. Practice these simple steps a few times to achieve the perfect beard:
1. Know thy face, learn thy clippers
It’s important to know how your hair grows, direction, speed, etc. If your hair grows as fast as a transitioning werewolf, then you might want to cut your beard a little tighter. Every pair of clippers cut a little differently, so your first few trims with a new set need to be attentive.
If you don’t already have a pair, consider purchasing either this one from Philips Norelco or Wahl’s All In One Lithium Ion Trimmer. You can’t go wrong with either choice. Wahl builds its products durable and tough, which means they last for years, and this particular model has an extremely long battery life. The Philips Norelco, on the other hand, has some seriously cool features like a vacuum system that keeps your shaving mess to a minimum.
2. The fade line
Trace a line from the corner of your mouth to the hinge in your jaw. This is the fade line. Everything above this line (outside the goatee area) gets clipped with a 1/8” guard. This may be just the clippers with the adjustment pushed forward, or your set might have a 1/8” guard.
3. The transition
Everything below the fade line is going to be faded from bottom to top and toward the mouth. This includes under the jaw line. You will work from the 1/8”, up through 1/4”, and ending with the 3/8” piece at the goatee.
4. The goatee
Depending on your hair, cut the entire goatee with the 3/8” or 1/2” piece.
5. The neck line
You will want to find the best place for you beard to end. Take your finger and trace a curve from below your earlobe to the point above your Adam’s apple, where your jaw and neck meet. This will be a good starting point to shape the bottom of your beard. Use the clippers to define this line. Lightly fad the edge of that line with a 1/4” piece.
6. Razor finish
After you’ve showered and cleaned up, you’ll want to apply a good shaving cream. It makes the hair softer and easier to cut, lubricates your skin to minimize irritation, and also works as a moisturizer. Once you’ve worked the shaving cream into a nice lather, it’s time to shave two important areas. First shave your damn neck. Neck beards are not badass. Second, trace a line with your finger from the corner of your mustache straight across your cheek. If you have hair that creeps above this line (reaching for your cheekbone), shave that, too.
A quality disposable razor, like the Gillette Fusion Proglide, will reliably give you a close shave with little irritation. If you’re feeling like stepping up your game and want the closest shave you can get, consider a safety razor like the Merkur #34C.
7. Scissor me timbers
A nice pair of hair scissors will help you catch strays and trim the mustache from falling too far over your upper lip.
Instead of using a pair of kitchen scissors, buy a dedicated pair of beard scissors. Either the Suvorna Ador Mustache & Beard Trimming Men’s Grooming Scissors or these Professional Mustache Scissors and Beard Trimming Scissors are perfect for precise trimming. They’re both extremely sharp, built to last, and designed with men’s hands in mind.
Oops! When you screw up (and you will), just shave the whole thing down. But don’t waste the opportunity to see what kind of creeper you will look like should you just have a mustache, because most likely you won’t look like Tom Selleck. But you never know. Chances are Mother Nature will give you an opportunity to try this all again in a few weeks. With regular practice you’ll be doing this with your eyes closed.
I ain’t dyeing
For the love of God, don’t dye your beard. Act your damn age. Yes, it’s OK that Chuck Norris does it, but can you really be Chuck Norris?
If you want to look like a badass, proper facial grooming is essential — you might even need to shave your head.