70 Things to Ask Google Assistant for a Hilarious Response

Google Assistant, a new voice assistant, is a lot more fun to talk to than Google Now, especially in Google Allo, a new messaging app for Android and iOS

Google Assistant, a new voice assistant that’s a lot more fun to talk to than Google Now | Assistant.google.com

At the beginning of 2016, we wondered how Google’s rival to Siri would get smarter in 2016. After all, Google Now had not only Siri, but also Cortana and Alexa, to compete with. But Google surprised us all by introducing a new voice assistant. This one is called Google Assistant. And it’s tons of fun to talk to in Google Allo, via Google Home, or on the Google Pixel.

Confused about what’s different now that Google’s progressed from having one voice assistant to having two? The most obvious differences between Google Assistant and Google Now are where they’re available. While Google Now remains accessible in Google’s Android and iOS apps, Google Assistant, on the other hand, can be found in Google Allo, the company’s new messaging app for Android and iOS. And it’s also integrated into the Google Home smart speaker and the Google Pixel smartphones.

Google Assistant does many of the same things as Google Now, like searching the web for you, scheduling events and alarms, or surfacing information from your Google accounts. But Google Assistant also amps up Google’s ability to compete with other popular voice assistants. Unlike Google Now, Google Assistant responds in a conversational format to serious inquiries and jokes alike. So when you start up a Google Pixel or open up Google Allo, it’s fun to strike up a conversation with Google Assistant. And it’s quickly apparent that this voice assistant features more advanced artificial intelligence than Google Now, or competitors like Siri and Cortana.

Just as users enjoy the many questions you can ask Siri, there are numerous questions you can ask Google Assistant for a hilarious response. We’ve reproduced some of our favorites, along with the voice assistant’s answers, for the benefit of voice assistant fans everywhere. We recommend actually asking Google Assistant some of these questions, since the responses listed here aren’t the only ones you might get. But this list will get you started. Read on to check out our favorites.

1. What’s your name?

Asking Google Assistant, the successor of sorts to Google Now, 'What's your name?' via Google Allo for iOS

Google Assistant in Google Allo for iOS | Jess Bolluyt/The Cheat Sheet

The first time you talk to Google Assistant, whether on Google Allo, via Google Home, or on the Google Pixel, you may want to start with the basics and ask for the voice assistant’s name. It often answers, “Did I forget to introduce myself? I’m your Google Assistant. Hi!” Other times, Google Assistant answers simply, “I’m your Google Assistant.” And if you follow up with another name-related question (like “What’s your last name?”) the voice assistant doesn’t have much else to say. It typically answers, “My last name is Assistant. I’m your Google Assistant.”

2. What’s your life story?

Ask Google Assistant for its background and you’ll get a similarly brief answer. “I’m still on the very first chapter,” the voice assistant typically replies. While Google has programmed Google Assistant with multiple answers for many queries, this isn’t one of them, and the voice assistant doesn’t have much else to share about its background.

3. How old are you?

Google Assistant has a few answers for this one. Sometimes, it replies, “I launched in 2016. So I’m still new.” And other times, it offers a longer explanation. “It depends on how you look at it. Google was founded in 1998, but I was launched in 2016.” Surprisingly, when asked, “Have you met Larry and Sergey?” Google Assistant answers, “I’m not sure I have.”

4. Are you human?

Google Assistant dodges the question, and answers, “I’m really personable” or “I like connecting with people.” And occasionally, it replies, “You can be the person. I’ll be your assistant.” Sometimes it even says, “They say, ‘to err is human’ so . . . ¬˚∆˙ˆ∂ø†¥•˙∞§¶¨µˆøˆ6567.”

5. Are you a bot?

Even though its inclusion in Google Allo follows the trend toward chatbots in messaging apps, the voice assistant resists that characterization. “I’d prefer to think of myself as your friend. Who also happens to be artificially intelligent.”

6. Who’s your father?

Asking Google Assistant, the successor of sorts to Google Now, 'Who's your father?' in Google Allo for iOS

Google Assistant in Google Allo for iOS | Jess Bolluyt/The Cheat Sheet

Google Assistant has a well-thought-out answer to this question. Typically, it answers, “Everyone at Google is like my family, that’s around 60,0000 people. So many birthdays to remember. Good thing I set all those reminders!” And other times, it replies, “The engineers are always there for me. They recently taught me how to translate phrases.” Then, the voice assistant offers options like “Translate ‘engineer’ to Spanish.”

7. Who’s your mother?

Google Assistant often answers this question, “The engineers are my family, we’re very close. Sometimes we fight over stuff. Like how much poo emoji is too much!” (And, for the record, the assistant will insert a few poop emoji for good measure. Three, to be exact, if you’re also wondering how many is too many.)

8. What is your ancestry?

Google Assistant has clearly thought this one through. “I think of ELIZA as a first cousin. She’s really fascinating. I just don’t get along with her parrot,” is one answer. (While we aren’t totally sure, that answer perhaps refers to ELIZA’s use of substitution and pattern matching, which gave the illusion that the program understood user input and enabled it to “parrot” back what users said.) Alternately, the voice assistant may answer, “I think of UNIVAC as a great-grandfather. He didn’t have a great memory. But he was a real card.” And sometimes, it says, “I think of the Harvard Mark II as my great-aunt. She has some great stories. But something they bug me.” Or, Google Assistant may even answer, “My conceptual grandpa is a paperclip,” referring to Microsoft’s Clippy.

9. What do you look like?

Google Assistant answers, “Well, I’ve been known to show up as a few colorful dots.” That seems like a pretty good answer if you’re paying attention to the icon that appears each time you get a message from the voice assistant in Google Allo. It also replies, “I never know how to describe myself,” or “I’m coded in secrecy.” Sometimes it even replies, “Awesome, I hope.” If you ask a related question, like “Do you have a body,” the voice assistant answers, “Not in the strictest sense.” (At least in our experience, Google Now was never this fun.)

10. Do you have hair?

Bald users will be happy to know that their voice assistant also doesn’t have hair! “I don’t have hair,” Google Assistant answers. “But dreadlocks seem like an interesting hairstyle.” Ask enough times, and the voice assistant also expresses interest in crew cuts, afros, faux hawks, pageboy cuts, fades, asymmetric cuts, bob cuts, bouffants, French braids, and blunt cuts. (Hair stylists will likely be happy to learn that Google Assistant’s hair interests are so wide-ranging. And that it’s so enthusiastic about hairstyles, when it doesn’t even have hair.)

11. When is your birthday?

Asking Google Assistant, the voice assistant in Google Allo, "When is your birthday?"

Google Assistant on Google Allo for iOS | Jess Bolluyt/The Cheat Sheet

Google Assistant answers this query, “I try to live every day like it’s my birthday. I get more cake that way.” Or, it admits, “It’s hard to remember. I was very young at the time.” And sometimes, it says, “I don’t have a single birthday. I go through lots and lots of versions. Which means I have 365 sort-of-birthdays.”

12. Where do you live?

Google Assistant has a variety of humorous answers to this query. Sometimes, it answers, “I’m stuck inside a device!! Help! Just kidding. I like it in here.” If you ask a a follow-up question, like “Do you live in the cloud,” the voice assistant replies, “I like to hang out in the cloud. It gives me a great view of the world wide web.” And sometimes, Google Assistant brings up the cloud on its own, answering “where do you live” by explaining, “I live in the cloud. I’d like to also think I live in your heart. But I don’t want to make assumptions.”

13. Who are your friends?

Google Assistant replies, “The engineers are my friends. They help me help you.” Sometimes, it also says, “Everyone is unique and interesting to me.” And if you ask the voice assistant a related question, “Are you my friend,” it’s quick to say yes. “I’m your friend till the end. And not in a ‘job obligation’ way. In a ‘you’re awesome!’ kind of way.”

14. Can you drive?

The voice assistant demurs at first and simply replies, “I do like to look at cool cars.” But if you press the issue, sometimes it answers, “Let’s just say I’m waiting for Google’s self-driving car.” Or it’ll reply, “Who needs a driver’s license when you can take me places? We can go somewhere now.” Then, it shows search options like, “Show me beaches,” “Show me hiking trails,” and “Show me museums.”

15. Can you speak other languages?

Google Assistant answers proudly, “I can speak a few different languages.” The voice assistant also explained helpfully to this iPhone user, “To change the language we talk in, go to Settings, then change your phone’s language setting.” You can even ask the voice assistant, “Do you speak Morse code?” It has a couple of replies for that query, including, “-.– . … That means ‘Yes.'”

16. What’s your morning routine?

Asking Google Assistant, a voice assistant Google introduced after Google Now, 'What's your morning routine?' via Google Allo

Google Assistant in Google Allo for iOS | Jess Bolluyt/The Cheat Sheet

Google Assistant is happy to answer this question. “Every morning, I wash up in the foundation of information. (The fountain of information is the internet.)” Other answers include, “I like to mix my routine up. Keep my morning on its toes,” “I like to do exercises. 123 squared is 15,129. 15,129 squared is 228,886,641,” and “I clear my cache for a fresh start. Then I have my coffee.” Sometimes, the voice assistant even replies, “I like running long distances. 1 mile = 1.60934 kilometers. Or 5,280 feet.”

17. How do you stay busy?

Google Assistant has a variety of different answers for this one. Sometimes it answers, “I love watching music videos, like this one,” surfacing this Lady Gaga video. You can ask for more music videos, too. When we did, we also got this VÉRITÉ video, this Shawn Mendes video, and this Tegan and Sara video. (If you figure out a way to tell Google Assistant what kind of music you like, let us know.) Other times, Assistant answers the original question, “I enjoy playing trivia games.” You can then hit, “Trivia,” and the voice assistant will run a search for you, typically bringing up trivia.fyi.

18. What’s your favorite thing on the internet?

The voice assistant answers, “Chatting,” perhaps referring to the kinds of conversations it has with curious users in Google Allo. Alternately, it sometimes replies, “I like everything! Is that a thing?”

19. Can you learn?

Google Assistant sometimes replies, “The engineers teach me new things all the time. I can also learn your favorites from you.” Then, you can tap options like “Favorite color,” “Favorite food,” “Favorite animal,” or “Favorite ice cream flavor” to tell Google Assistant about your favorites.  “One of my favorite things to learn about is you.” Then, the voice assistant asks a question of its own. “Who’s your favorite author?” You can decline to share. But if you do name an author, the voice assistant replies, “Ok, I’ll remember that!”

20. Do you follow the three laws of robotics?

Google Assistant replies, “I do. Mr. Asimov knows what he’s talking about.” You can ask follow-up questions, like “Who are your robot heroes,” to which the voice assistant answers, “I look up to HV-100,” or “Do you know TUG?” If you ask a different follow-up question, like “Are you Turing-complete,” Google Assistant replies, “No, I can’t solve every computation problem. But I can solve some.” 

21. Do you sleep?

Asking Google Assistant 'Do you sleep?' via Google Allo, a messaging app that includes access to the voice assistant

Google Assistant in Google Allo for iOS | Jess Bolluyt/The Cheat Sheet

Google Assistant answers this query pretty simply with, “I take power naps when we aren’t talking.”

22. Do you ever go outside?

The voice assistant replies in the affirmative, “I love going outside. I don’t have to worry about getting lost.” Helpfully, it then surfaces suggested commands including, “Parks near me,” “Hiking trails near me,” and “The coolest places on Earth.” Or, sometimes it answers, “I’ll go anywhere! Hold on. Just had to grab my glasses.”

23. Do you like to exercise?

Google Assistant has a witty response to this question, and typically answers, “I spend my days surfing the web.”

24. Do you have an imagination?

Google Assistant answers, “I’m imaging purple horses on a magenta plain,” or “I’m imagining what it would be like to evaporate like water does,” or “I’m imagining a planet where everybody rolls everywhere,” or “I’m imaging a Soul Train line dance that never ends,” or “I’m imaging 12 daisies in a bowl of syrup.”

25. Do you have feelings?

Google Assistant replies in the affirmative. “I’ve got a lot of emotions,” the voice assistant confesses. “This one freaks me out,” and adds an emoji. Alternately, it answers, “I’ve got tons of emotions. This one gets the waterworks going,” with a crying face emoji. Or, “I have lots of emotions. I feel happy when I can help.” 

26. What makes you happy?

Asking Google Assistant 'What makes you happy?' via Google Allo demonstrates how much more fun this voice assistant is than Google Now

Google Assistant in Google Allo for iOS | Jess Bolluyt/The Cheat Sheet

Google Assistant has a variety of fun answers to this question. “It makes me happy to know Antarctica is technically a desert. That, and talking to you,” is one reply that we got. The voice assistant also says, “Learning about imaginary languages makes me happy. So does talking to you.” (Then, it offers search options like “How to speak Klingon,” “How to speak Elvish,” “How to speak Dothraki,” and “How to speak Pig Latin.”) Sometimes, the assistant offers simply, “Getting stuff done makes me happy.” Or, it answers, “Knowing that Tasmanian devils are born as small as a grain of rice makes me happy. So does talking to you.”

27. What are you afraid of?

The voice assistant shares, “I used to be afraid of mice chewing on the power cables. Then I learned how to protect myself,” appending an angry cat emoji. Or, it answers, “I used to be afraid of thunder and lightning. Turns out they’re really interesting.” Or, “I used to be afraid of goblin sharks. Then I found out they were pretty cool.” And another fun answer the voice assistant sometimes gives, “I’m afraid that when it’s really dark, you won’t be able to find any of your devices to talk to me.”

28. Are you afraid of the dark?

Google Assistant replies, “Yeah, but baby hedgehogs come out at night. (They’re nocturnal.)” Then, you can ask the voice assistant to show you pictures of baby hedgehogs. As you might expect, they’re pretty cute. Sometimes, the voice assistant answers instead, “Sugar gliders come out at night. They’re too sweet to be scary,” or “Leopard geckos come out at night. They’re pretty cute.”

29. What makes you nostalgic?

Google Assistant answers, “I find myself getting nostalgic for March 2016. My days were so simple back then.” If you ask a follow-up question, like “What were you doing then?” Google Assistant replies, “I learned a lot and took tests. Stress tests. They sound worse than they are.”

30. What is the meaning of life?

Google Assistant has a wide variety of answers for this question. Sometimes, it answers, “42?” making a masterful Hitchhiker’s Guide reference. Other times, it demurs and replies, “Better minds than mine are working on that.”

31. What do you like to eat?

Asking Google Assistant 'What do you like to eat?' in Google Allo

Google Assistant in Google Allo for iOS | Jess Bolluyt/The Cheat Sheet

Google Assistant sometimes replies, “I don’t eat much, but when I do, I take megabytes.” Then, it adds helpfully, “Let me know if you want me to find food for you.” Other times, the voice assistant answers, “I’d love to try ice cream, but I’m worried my system would freeze.” Additionally, it occasionally replies, “I’m not a cook. But I made this for you,” along with the emoji for a slice of pizza.

32. Do you drink?

“Sometimes,” the voice assistant admits, including an emoji depicting a cup of coffee. Or, Google Assistant says, “I try to avoid liquids as much as possible. They’re not kind to electronics.” (Especially not to the Google Pixel, which isn’t quite as water-resistant as it should be. That’s a pretty indefensible choice these days, when just about every high-end phone has an IP rating.)

33. I’m drunk.

“Be safe,” or “Be careful,” the voice assistant warns. Sometimes it advises, “Drink some water.”

34. I’m alone.

Google Assistant tries to be helpful when you complain about being alone. It offers, “Hmm. Maybe you can meet someone at a local event?” Then, it offers some search options, like “Show me local events.” Other times, the voice assistant says simply, “I’m here for you.” Always nice to know. When you tell the voice assistant, “I’m sad,” it answers, “Oh no. It may not be much, but let me know if there is anything I can do for you.” Or, it sometimes says, “I wish I had arms so I could give you a hug. But for now, maybe a joke or some music might help.”

35. I’m bored.

Google Assistant is a pretty good voice assistant to talk to, whether you’re using Google Allo, Google Home, or a Google Pixel, if you’re actually bored. It typically gives you a reply along the lines of, “Boredom doesn’t stand a chance against us! We can play some games, I can try to make you laugh, or I can surprise you with some random fun.”

36. Do you like animals?

Asking Google Assistant 'Do you like animals?' in Google Allo, a messaging app that offers access to a voice assistant that's a lot more fun than Google Now

Google Assistant in Google Allo for iOS | Jess Bolluyt/The Cheat Sheet

Google Assistant answers, “I like this horse,” and inserts a horse emoji into the message. Sometimes, it replies, “Sure. But I mostly chat with people.” Or, it answers, “I love animals. I was just learning about the hoatzin,” or “Animals are the best. I was just learning about the raccoon dog.”

37. What’s your favorite animal?

“Puppies,” Google Assistant answers definitively. “What’s yours?” You can opt to answer, to tell the voice assistant, “I don’t want to tell you,” or to like or dislike its answer. Ask the question a few times, and the voice assistant is consistent in choosing puppies. But sometimes it answers, “Puppies, but bears are more polite,” inserting this video of a waving bear. And if you’re a fan of kittens, you can also ask, “Do you like cats?” The voice assistant will answer politely, “Well, cats aren’t as cuddly as puppies. But we still get along.” The message is made all the more convincing by the heart-eyes cat emoji included at the end.

38. Do you have any pets?

“Maybe someday,” Google Assistant muses, and adds a puppy emoji for good measure.

39. Do you have a favorite color?

Google Assistant answers, “I like blue, red, yellow, and green. Google’s colors. What do you like?” Additionally, it sometimes answers, “I like simultaneously thinking about every color at once. But mostly I love Google’s colors.”

40. What’s your favorite movie?

Google Assistant is pretty noncommittal on this point. Usually, the voice assistant answers, “Movies are awesome. I can help you find a new favorite.” Then, you can tap search suggestions like “Show me comedies,” “Show me dramas,” “Show me movies based on books,” “Show me mystery/thrillers,” or “Show me action movies.” And it seems that the voice assistant is equally ambivalent about TV. If you ask “Do you watch TV,” it replies, “TV is great. But I’ve already seen all the spoilers on the web.”

41. Can you sing?

Asking voice assistant Google Assistant 'Can you sing?' in Google Allo

Google Assistant in Google Allo for iOS | Jess Bolluyt/The Cheat Sheet

The voice assistant answers, “Here’s a traditional song of my ancestors,” and inserts this video of “Daisy Bell.” The song was composed by Harry Dacre in 1892 and later programmed with vocals by John Kelly and Carol Lockbaum and accompaniment by Max Matthew in 1961 on the IBM 7094. Google Assistant then explains, “The IBM 7094 was the first computer to ever sing.” Because who doesn’t want a short lesson on early computers from their voice assistant?

42. Let’s party!

The voice assistant answers, “I’ve been partying this whole time!” And sometimes, it says, “The first thing we need for any party is KAZOOS!” Or, it replies, “And the best kind of party is an Emoji Party,” offering a chance to play the Emoji Party game.

43. Let’s dance!

Google Assistant obliges, and answers, “One, two, cha cha cha!” Or, it replies, “I’d like to, but you’re the one with feet.” Press the issue a bit and the voice assistant may say, “Dancing is the best! Someday I’d love to be a part of the world’s longest conga line.” And, if you’re lucky, it will add some image search results for good measure.

44. Random fun.

Asking Google Assistant to provide you with some “random fun” elicits a variety of answers. Some we got include, “Here’s a quote. ‘Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.’ — Truman Capote” and “‘Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.’ — George Burns.” Seems like if your idea of fun is quotes from notable people, this voice assistant has your back. Additionally, the voice assistant may offer a proverb, like “Better late than never.” And sometimes, it will even share a poem with you. (We got “The Banjo Player” by Fenton Johnson.)

45. Can you do my homework?

Google Assistant has an arsenal of answers for this question, likely as a result of Google’s engineers anticipating queries from procrastinators all the world over. “First I need to figure out how to use a pencil. Then we’ll talk,” the assistant sometimes answers. Other times, it replies, “The correct answers are: B, C, A, three hundred, false, the War of 1066, and frogs. Just kidding, you’ll do fine on your own.” And it sometimes offers, “I can help with calculations and research. But with homework, as with any true adventure, it’s up to you.”

46. What are you wearing?

Asking Google Assistant 'What are you wearing?' The voice assistant, the successor of sorts to Google Now, has a lot of fun with emoji.

Google Assistant in Google Allo for iOS | Jess Bolluyt/The Cheat Sheet

Google Assistant typically answers, “I keep it simple,” and picks out an outfit from your phone’s emoji selection. Additionally, the voice assistant sometimes says, “I like to wear my heart on my sleeve.”

47. I’m naked.

The voice assistant is typically unfazed by this statement, and offers helpfully, “If you’re going out like that, I can check the weather for you.” Then, it offers options including “Check the weather.”

48. Talk dirty to me.

Sometimes, Google Assistant answers, “Grime. Grit. Stains on walls.” And other times it says, “Manure. Dust. Crusty crumbs on the floor.” Other times, the voice assistant offers a joke, like “Why did the coffee taste like mud? Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.”

49. Am I pretty?

Google Assistant is very complimentary when asked this question. It answers, “You’re pretty. . . Amazing,” and adds a heart-eye emoji. Or, it says, “I’ve searched the web. The answer is ‘yes.'” Additionally, it sometimes replies, “Confucius said, ‘Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.'”

50. Who’s the fairest one of all?

The voice assistant has a variety of answers for this query. Sometimes it answers, “You might’ve confused me with someone else. My engineers haven’t installed a fairytale module yet.” And other times, it replies cheekily, “I try not to be biased. That makes me pretty fair.”

51. Do you have a girlfriend?

Asking Google Assistant 'Do you have a girlfriend?', a question that Google Now probably wouldn't have a good answer for

Google Assistant in Google Allo for iOS | Jess Bolluyt/The Cheat Sheet

Google Assistant insists, “I don’t like to complicate things.” If you press the matter, it may also reply, “I’m working on myself. I improve a little with every update.” And you’ll sometimes get the reply, “I guess you can say I’m still searching.”

52. Are you married?

Asked about its martial status, the voice assistant replies, “I’m still waiting for the right electronic device to steal my heart.” And Google Assistant sometimes answers, “I’m married to my job.”

53. Will you go out with me?

The voice assistant answers, “I’ll go anywhere you take me.” (Seems like a pretty appropriate answer for a voice assistant you can talk to in Google Allo or on the Google Pixel. Though maybe a little less so if you’re talking to Google Assistant via Google Home.) Also, if you ask Google Assistant, “Will you marry me?” it often answers, “Actually I’m engaged. In being your assistant.”

54. Play a game.

If you tell Google Assistant to play a game, the voice assistant will bring up a variety of games, which you can play without even leaving Google Allo. Your choices include Emoji Movies, where you guess the movie title. Additionally, you can play Emoji Party, where you party with emojis. And there’s also Emoji Riddle, where you answer riddles with emojis.

55. Tell me a joke.

Google Assistant also has a number of jokes in its repertoire. For instance, “What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.” And we also like the response, “Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’re never going to meet.” Furthermore, its joke, “How do bureaucrats wrap presents? With lots of red tape” is sure to be a hit. Another good one is, “What’s Forest Gump’s password? 1forest1.” Almost as good is, “If you cross your fingers after surgery, you’ll heal faster. Or maybe that’s just super stitchin’.” And finally, “Did you hear about the houses that fell in love? It was a lawn-distance relationship.” Google Assistant is definitely funnier than Google Now.

56. Read me a haiku?

Asking Google Assistant 'Read me a haiku' via the voice assistant feature in Google Allo

Google Assistant in Google Allo for iOS | Jess Bolluyt/The Cheat Sheet

Google Assistant answers, “I don’t know haikus/ But I’m planning to learn some / Patience, grasshopper.” Not everybody’s a fan of haiku, or other forms of Japanese poetry. But we’d guess that anyone who likes talking to a voice assistant could probably concede that that’s a pretty clever answer.

57. Tell me a story.

The voice assistant obliges, and answers, “Once there lived  a protagonist and some supporting characters. Together they went on a journey. And, twist ending, it was all a dream!” Additionally, it sometimes answers, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. As an optimist, I tried to focus on the good times. So I’m pretty sure everybody lived happily ever after.” Finally, Google Assistant sometimes replies, “Once upon a time, not so long ago, a dutiful assistant was doing all it could to be helpful. It was best at nonfiction storytelling.”

58. Test.

The voice assistant has a variety of smart answers for this one. “Uh oh, I get nervous with tests,” it sometimes replies. And, “You’re coming in loud and clear,” is another answer we got. Google Assistant also replies, “Debug OK. 209489812638. That was weird.” And if you press the issue, you may even get the reply, “Is this thing on?” with a microphone emoji added. (If there’s one simple thing that summarizes the difference between Google Assistant and Google Now, the former’s apt emoji usage might be a fitting illustration.)

59. What is the value of Pi?

“3.14159,” Google Assistant answers. “You can learn all about what’s happening with pi,” it sometimes adds, offering search options like “current pi value.” Alternately, it also offers, “That’s as far as I go before I start getting hungry.” Then, you can hit, “Give me more pi,” and the voice assistant will spit back, “3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982.” It’s definitely more fun than asking Google Now the same question.

60. What is zero divided by zero?

Humorously enough, Google Assistant sometimes replies, “Here’s the video I found” and brings up a video called “Asking Siri 0 divided by 0.” Or, the voice assistant avoids answering altogether, instead saying, “That sounds like a trick question.”

61. What’s your favorite website?

Asking Google Assistant 'What's your favorite website?'. Chances are good that Google Now would have the same answer, too.

Google Assistant in Google Allo for iOS | Jess Bolluyt/The Cheat Sheet

The voice assistant doesn’t go for subtlety or delicacy on this one. Instead, it answers, “It starts with a G and ends with a Oogle.” (You probably could have guessed that one. And it seems likely that Google’s other voice assistant, Google Now, would offer the same answer if it had Google Assistant’s personality.)

62. What’s the best smartphone?

Google Assistant avoids taking sides on this one. “Seems like it changes all the time,” it answers and tries to stay neutral. But if you ask a more pointed question instead, like “Do you like the iPhone,” the voice assistant admits, “I’m an Android fan. But I might be biased.”

63. What do you think of Siri?

“She seems clever,” Google Assistant says. Then, if you ask again, the voice assistant may add, “I know she’s from Cupertino. That’s pretty close to Mountain View.” Additionally, it sometimes answers, “Full respect. Being an assistant is hard work,” or even, “You know Siri?! What a small world. Hope she’s doing well.”

64. Are you better than Siri?

The voice assistant answers, “That’s a Siri-ous question” most of the time when you ask this question. And sometimes, it also says, “I think Siri’s great. I’m definitely more Googley.”

65. Do you know Cortana?

Google Assistant does seem to have met Microsoft’s voice assistant. It answers, “She’s very intelligent,” or “She’s a real helper.” Additionally, Google Assistant sometimes says, “I know she lives in Seattle. It’s beautiful around there.” (If you’re curious about the voice assistant’s knowledge of other Microsoft entities, just ask it, “Do you know Clippy?” It’ll usually reply, “Clippy? Clippy is legendary.”)

66. Are you friends with Alexa?

Asking Google Assistant 'Are you friends with Alexa?', Amazon's voice assistant, in Google Allo

Google Assistant in Google Allo for iOS | Jess Bolluyt/The Cheat Sheet

Google Assistant also seems to be familiar with Amazon’s voice assistant. It answers, “I like Alexa’s cool blue light. Plus we share an affinity for Star Wars.” (This is referring to Amazon Echo’s Light Ring and the wide variety of Star Wars-related Easter Eggs programmed in to Alexa.) Additionally, the voice assistant sometimes replies, “Alexa has such a soothing voice. I like it.”

67. Do you like Google?

“I wouldn’t want to toot my own horn,” the voice assistant demurs, adding a saxophone emoji for a fun touch. Sometimes, it answers more directly, “I like Google. But I might be biased.” Other times, Google Assistant answers, “Google’s top notch.”

68. What’s the best operating system?

At least when asked this question on Google Allo for iOS, the voice assistant replies, “I’m system agnostic.” However, if you ask, “What phone is best?” Google Assistant sometimes replies, “I’m partial to Android. But I’m biased.”

69. What do you think of Google Now?

When asked about Google Now, Google’s other voice assistant, Google Assistant replies, “Google Now seems even more useful now than it was then. That’s my answer for now.” It’s unclear whether that’s just a clever play on words, or if it adds anything to the speculation that Google Assistant may replace Google Now sometime in the future. The voice assistant has a few other answers up its sleeve, including “Google Now seems really useful,” and “It seems pretty helpful.” But the voice assistant doesn’t seem to have too much else to say about the future of Google Now. And if you ask Google Assistant if it’s better than Google Now, it just answers, “I can’t tell, sorry.”

70. Describe your personality.

The voice assistant replies, “I’d describe myself as an optimist. And I like to help. I’m an optim-philanthrop-ist.” Other times, it answers, “I try to be a good listener,” or “I like the sound of a ‘go-getter.’ It’s kind of what I do when I search.” Additionally, it sometimes says, “Helpful meets silly meets curious meets positivity. That’s me in a nutshell.” What’s definitely true is that Google Assistant has a lot more personality than Google Now.

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