3 Reasons Why Your Family Doesn’t Like Your Partner
Parental disapproval is the theme of many teen angst films, which has been a source of entertainment for many of us at one point or another. But when you’re in a serious relationship, parental disapproval can take a toll on both you and your partner. Your partner may end up constantly feeling like he or she needs to prove him or herself to be worthy. If this effort is left unrewarded, it can turn into resentment and anger that can impact your relationship. If you’re in this situation, you may be wondering why exactly your family doesn’t like the love of your life. These three reasons might have something to do with it.
1. Your partner has a different background
Psych Central says that your parents’ traditions, values, feelings, attitudes, and prejudices can be the big reason they don’t like your partner. This is because everything your partner believes in and stands for may go against your parents’ beliefs. For example, if your partner is from a different culture than you or has different religious beliefs, that may just be good enough reason for your parents to not like him or her. Previous research shows that parents tend to prioritize social class and family background for a potential son or daughter-in-law. Let your family know that while you appreciate and respect their traditions and where you’re from, you also want to learn about your partner’s beliefs as well and would appreciate them being respectful of that.
2. Your parent’s genes
Your parents genes may be why they don’t like your partner, according to a study published in the journal Evolution & Human Behavior, that appeared in Time. The study, which references evolutionary theory, suggests that parents and their children should both want a supportive mate. Tim Fawcett, the co-author of the study is an evolutionary biologist at the University of Bristol, explains that this model of parental behavior is predicated on the fact that all parents presumably value all of their children and subsequently the survival of their genes equally. Fawcett points out that parents desire to allocate their resources, so that each of their children ends up with an equal share; however, if one child marries someone with a less reliable job and the other marries a devoted lawyer, the former will probably require additional parental investment of money, time, and even emotional support so their child will survive, meanwhile the other child will require much less from the parents.
So, if your parents don’t like your partner, it’s because they may have a feeling that you’re going to require more of their resources because you may be settling for a partner who provides less support than your parents would like. If this situation sounds familiar to you, it doesn’t mean that you partner is not right for you, it’s just that your parents are going to need some convincing.
3. Your parents see things that you don’t
Love can cloud your vision. In fact, research conducted at the University College London, published in NeuroImage, showed that there is a degree of truth to the old adage. Loving feelings can suppress activities in the part of the brain that controls critical thought.
When you’re head-over-heels-crazy-in-love with someone you may, unintentionally, turn a blind eye to some traits of theirs that are not so favorable or make excuses about their behavior because you’re so smitten. While you can fool yourself, you can’t fool your parents. They may see some things that you don’t, including how your partner treats you and their unfavorable behaviors.
Remember men, at the end of the day you are the one who has to love your partner, says life coach Christine Hassler to the Huffington Post. Your parents opinion may eventually change, but it may not and you might have to face that reality. Try your best to open their hearts and minds, but do keep in mind that sometimes parents can see those red flags that you don’t. Keep an open mind, and make sure you’re in your relationship for all the right reasons.