Emotional obesity is an issue caused by an unhealthy buildup of the emotional weight that stems from the societal pressures, doubts, and false beliefs layered on by the outside world. What if there were ways you could radically improve your career, relationships, and happiness with an inspired kind of weight-loss? According to Laura Coe, author, certified life coach, and leading expert on emotional obesity, living a happier and more enlightened life is possible with just a few helpful shortcuts. Here are three key steps that Coe says may help you overcome the habits that keep you from finding your authentic purpose.
Rule your mind
Our minds are firing all day. Without awareness, those thoughts (the endless chatter we ignore) determine the choices we make. From exercise habits, to work, to our relationships (for example, when and how we ask someone out on a date), all of these things are governed by a constant stream of small decisions.
Emotional fitness begins with awareness, because without awareness we let the chaos of the mind make choices unconsciously. We may think we are the master of our daily choices, but the reality is that an unattended mind is a mind making choices for you. And most importantly, these “unchoices” often come from unconscious fear — not from your true goals and desires.
Decide who is boss
Once aware of the thoughts that occur, you must decide who is boss. Even with awareness, our thoughts can be very convincing. These impostors (that is, thoughts and opinions we take on from our families, mentors, media etc.) often do not reflect our own goals.
Who is in control? The learned ideas you have picked up from the world or you? Be the boss of your internal world. You may need to get into a few heated fights with these impostor thoughts, but it’s important to remember that ultimately you are the boss of your internal world, if you decide to be (and then act accordingly).
Lead, don’t follow
Emotional fitness requires leadership. A leader solicits the advice of others to make important decisions. A leader understands the value of the opinions of others. But as the leader of your thoughts, you should also understand that the final decision is yours to make. If your mind is filled with unexamined thoughts from the outside world, you cannot lead.
Locate your authentic voice to make the final call. How can you do this? Observe a thought. The part of your mind that is observing the thought is you. Take in as much as you can and make the final call.