Picture this scenario: You have been with your significant other for quite a while. You’re both incredibly comfortable and happy in the relationship, and as a result, you’ve fallen into a relationship rut. Fear not! The honeymoon phase of your relationship may be long gone, but that doesn’t mean the romance has to go with it. It’s time to reconnect with your partner and rediscover that fiery passion that brought you two together in the first place.
1. Focus on the positive
We’re all guilty of getting stuck in a routine and forgetting about the wonderful qualities that we noticed in our partner when we first started dating. Psychologist Elizabeth R. Lombardo, PhD. told WebMD that time and stress may bring your partner’s less-favorable traits into focus. The good qualities still exist, though, and to get yourself out of a relationship rut, it’s time to start focusing on the positives. Make a list of your favorite qualities about your partner and another one of all of the fun memories you have together. Focus on those moments.
2. Plan for intimate adventures or moments
Although planning for an intimate moment sounds like one of the least romantic things to do, and is the complete opposite of spontaneity, sex therapist Desiree Spierings, the director of counseling practice at Sexual Health Australia, tells ABC that there is nothing wrong with taking this approach. Expectations of spontaneity may be counterproductive, and you need to put the effort in to regain the spark in your relationship. Spierings suggests planning a sex date. “The more opportunities like these, the more likely sex is going to happen,” she tells ABC.
3. Do something unexpected to bring back the thrill
Sometimes, knowing your partner’s moves and having them down pat takes the thrill out of the relationship. You need to make an effort to bring the excitement back, whether it’s through a new adventurous activity or sexual exploration together. Looking for a way to boost both of your adrenaline levels? Try sky diving together, ride an insane roller coaster, or go explore a tropical destination.
Being open and honest with each other will only bring you closer. If you’re aware there’s a problem, start a discussion. It doesn’t have to be a super serious conversation off the bat. Lighthearted laughter and words will go along way in reconnecting. Share more, and don’t let issues build up. The more you talk, the closer you’ll feel.