Not every man is keen on the idea of marriage. It might not be in your relational makeup, or it may simply go against some of your core beliefs and values. Marriage is a big deal, and it’s definitely not a decision that should be taken lightly. It’s a lifelong commitment to another human being, and it takes being fully prepared in many aspects of your life. Even if your life is in order, you may still find that you have no interest in marriage. If that’s the case, here are five reasons why you may not be the marrying kind.
1. You think the concept of marriage is flawed
For whatever reason, you just don’t buy into the whole framework of marriage. You might believe that this institution was created to oppress the masses, uphold societal standards, and impede your free will. You may also believe that it’s meaningless, considering that the American Psychological Association reports that 40% to 50% of American marriages end in divorce. Divorce isn’t cheap, you know.
2. You haven’t reached that juncture in your life yet
If you’re not thinking about marriage, no matter how settled and comfortable you are, then it could be because you just haven’t reached that point in your life yet — or you may have already passed it. And that’s OK.
An article on Today cited a survey mentioned in the book, Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others by author John Molloy. The research found that “ninety percent of men who have graduated from college are ready for the next step between ages 26 and 33; this is when they are most likely to consider marriage. But this window of opportunity stays open only for four to five years, and then the chances a man will marry start to decline.”
And if those men are in a relationship, the survey reports that “a majority of college graduates between 28 and 33 are in their high-commitment years and likely to propose.”
Most single men who were interviewed by Molloy explained that when they get out of school, get a job, and start making money, new possibilities open up to them. For the first time in their lives these men have some independence; they have an apartment and an income. It’s during this time that they’re reluctant to consider marriage, instead preferring to live a carefree bachelor life.
3. You just can’t commit to one woman
If you love women in general, cannot get enough of them, and committing to just one lady seems crazy, marriage might not be for you — at least not right now.
4. You don’t need that piece of paper
You are madly in love with one woman. You’re committed to her fully, but you don’t want to marry her. You love the way your relationship is and don’t want things to change. You and your significant other also feel that you don’t need a piece of paper to prove that you’re madly in love and want to spend the rest of your life together.
5. You’re healing from a divorce
Perhaps you’re a child of divorce and scarred by what your parents, and subsequently you, went through because of it. Or maybe you’re divorced, and the thought of marriage is too painful to even consider. In short, you’re basically hurt or healing from a marriage’s influence on your life. Keep an open mind, though. It’s possible that you may change your mind one day.