Going through a breakup, whether you were the one who initiated the breakup or not, is a hard pill to swallow. Putting distance between you and your ex is one of the best ways to move on, and that can even mean deleting this person from your life. After a breakup, you need to allow yourself time to properly move on. It’s hard to create a new routine after a breakup, but here are six essential things to try changing so you can move on in a healthy way.
1. The way you think about your ex
You and your ex are not together anymore, and it’s important that you begin to think this way. Your former partner is no longer your go-to for anything, and you need to minimize their importance in your life. If you can’t bring yourself to erase them completely from your life, try taking small steps toward moving on, such as deleting your ex from your social media accounts (if that helps you heal) or cutting down on communication.
2. Your look and style
Remember that jacket your ex hated when you wore it, or those shoes they “couldn’t even deal with” when you both were in public? You should wear whatever you want, and breaking up spurs a lot of people to make changes to their look or style. Have you been wanting to grow out your beard or change up your hair style? Do it now if you want. You don’t have to, but sometimes you feel better when you start to dress your best again and groom to look the best you possibly can. It’s not just something women benefit from when they go through a breakup, men can find it helpful as well.
3. Your gym routine
Relationships not only tend to take up a lot of our free time, but they can cut into your gym routine and your health habits if you’re not careful. When in a relationship, you may have tended to skip the gym and opt to go out for a dinner date instead, but now that it’s over, it’s time to get back to yourself and delve into a workout routine. Studies show hitting the gym lowers stress, and according to a recent Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) online poll, some 14% of people use regular exercise to cope with stress (and going through a breakup is stressful). Exercising also distracts you and gets your mind off the breakup. So hop to it.
4. Your living space
You may feel the desire to somehow erase the presence of your ex from your daily life, and there is no better way to do this than by rearranging your living space or bedroom (especially your bedroom). Try moving around some furniture and shifting things around. Dare we say, clean your living space? This is even more important to do if the two of you lived together. You can put away photos of the two of you, and if any of your former partner’s things are still lingering around your apartment, toss them or put them in storage if your ex hasn’t claimed them yet. You may want to buy a new comforter and sheets so your bed feels new and fresh. An updated look to your place can definitely inspire a new perspective on things.
5. Your activities and hobbies
Adding new activities to your life is a great way to enrich it, especially if you’ve been holding off on doing things that you’ve always wanted to do. This is a great way to gain back the individuality that you may have lost while you were coupled up. Think back to a time prior to your relationship, and ask yourself: “What kind of things did I do for fun when I first moved here? What did I like to do for fun when I was younger? How do I really want to spend my free time now?”
Some of these answers may unlock passions and hobbies you’ve been meaning to return to or try for the first time. Give yourself permission to try new things, like taking an improv comedy class, joining a recreational baseball league, etc. Spending time getting to know yourself again can be incredibly rewarding.
6. Lastly, your relationship mojo
This has nothing to do with moving on to a new relationship right away. You need time to mourn, heal, and have some fun. However, at the end of a relationship, most tend to analyze in an attempt to comprehend what went wrong. Was it your fault? Your ex’s? No one’s? Sometimes it matters, and sometimes it doesn’t, but you can take with you both the good and the bad and learn from the experience. Once you’re ready to enjoy your singledom, take time to think about what you want from your next relationship and how you might behave differently. Date new types of people, and look for qualities that you want in a future partner. You may not want another relationship right now, but one day you will, and it all starts with changing up that relationship mojo of yours.