Dating is rough to begin with and when you date online, the waters are murkier and you deal with a whole new set of rules. The things you’ve messaged and posted remain in existence to haunt you, and can arguably make dating harder. That weird comment you typed to someone you were interested in cannot be erased from their memory, because it’s sitting right there in their inbox. That’s just one of the many mistakes men make when online dating. Allow us to tell you what not to do by pointing out these 7 mistakes. After all guys, it’s a new world out there and you need to know how to get that perfect someone.
1. Not picking the right profile photo
Though it may sound counterintuitive, don’t post your best looking photo. If you do this, you can be setting yourself up to fail, while also creating false expectations. With the right lighting and background, you may come off as looking like a celebrity, and when your potential date meets you in person, he or she might be disappointed that you don’t look as you did in your profile photo. Play it safe and true by posting a normal, everyday photo. Have the confidence and trust in yourself to do so.
Here are some other profile photo tips:
- A full body image taken outdoors boosts your messages by an average of 203%.
- Have an animal in your photo, whether it’s a pet or one that you pose with at a zoo.
- Dating site OkCupid found that the most liked expression in a photo was an unsmiling face that looked away from the camera, which was theorized to be favorable because it adds an air of mystery to someone’s persona, but just don’t flirt away from the camera.
- Photos where men show their left side are favored, and there’s scientific research to back this one up. Some studies have in fact found the left side to be more aesthetically pleasing, which also shows more emotion.
- eHarmony cites a scientific study that shows that women prefer pictures where men demonstrate pride, however, they found the opposite is true when it comes to men looking at profile pictures of women.
Always make sure you upload high quality photos. There’s no excuse.
2. Lying in your profile
Do we even have to go over this? Lying about who you are, what you do, and generally anything else of significance is not the right way to start any relationship.
3. Not using proper grammar when messaging
Be especially aware if you’re romancing a writer. It’s safe to say that they’ll have none of this. That said, you don’t have to be a writer or an intellectual or anything like that, but when you’re messaging a potential love interest, you should have some grasp of the English language. This has even been found to be a turn-off for women online: A poorly worded message.
We’re not saying you should be William Shakespeare, rather, it’s simply the laziness and texting language of today that feeds into poor language skills. We’ve become so used to texting and abbreviating our language and using slang that it’s hard to form a proper sentence anymore. You have all the tools at your disposal to write a decent message — the Internet, and let’s not forget spell check. When someone receives a message in this day and age and the grammar is off, you come across as not caring. Next.
4. Using language that indicates you’re dating other people
Getting down to the nitty gritty of messaging, do not, we repeat, do not message someone and then offer to meet them in the next couple of weeks because you’re ‘going out of town’. While there’s a chance that you may really be going out of town, the person on the receiving end of that message is going to assume that you’re busy dating other people. By the time you do come back, they may have already lost interest and found someone else a little more interested in dating them. In other words, you snooze you lose. As a good rule of thumb, according to Men’s Fitness: If you aren’t available for a date within seven days of messaging them, then don’t even bother messaging them.
5. Using inappropriate or offensive language
Again, does this one even have to be said? You have no idea who the person is on the receiving end of any derogatory or inappropriate message, so even if you think you’re being funny or cute, they’re probably not going to take it that way. It’s safe to say you shouldn’t mention anyone’s race, body types, or reference any areas on the body. Men should never mention physical characteristics of their own body parts when they’re first messaging someone. Women especially can easily be scared away, and rightfully so. We bet you wouldn’t do this in real life, so don’t do it in an introductory message. Stick to safe subjects and common ground and don’t forget to act like a gentleman, no matter how rebellious your nature may be.
6. Continuously messaging someone
Don’t continue to message the same person over and over again if they’re not answering you. If you’ve messaged them and nothing has come of it, then take the hint. In this case, it might not be seen as you being persistent, rather creepy. Neither women nor men owe you a reply. Just take the hint and move on.
7. Being an insecure online dater
Dude, you’re on a dating site — don’t deny it, own up to it. Online dating doesn’t have the same stigma attached to it as it used to, and it has become more than acceptable, almost the norm. What’s more, it’s made it’s mark as a significant way that couples meet each other. Some people get self-conscious about the fact that they’re online dating, but don’t make the person on the other end feel badly, they’re on the dating site as well. By pointing out your reservations about online dating you can come off as an insecure person, which can end up being a major turn off to the person you’re messaging. Simple solution: Just don’t bring it up. And if you do feel the need to bring it up, do it in person, but be confident about your reasons for joining.