According to every slap-stick and buddy wedding comedy ever made, the best man is bestowed great power and responsibility, if he so chooses to accept it. Some say that he has more responsibility than the groom himself, that is, if his bride-to-be has any say in it (buh da bum bum!). He is responsible for three very important things: keeping the groomsmen in line, organizing the bachelor party (because how can you not have one?), and delivering his best man speech, mostly riddled with embarrassing stories, covering everything from growing up together to unfortunate experiences you had later in life.
Let’s get down to it: Your best bro is finally getting married, and of course, he’s asked you to be his best man, which means you have to write a speech and speak in public, two things that can make anyone cringe, even with a little liquid courage to help. So, how do you approach the speech — what’s the best way to tackle it to give you a little creative leeway?
First, a word of advice: Make sure your speech doesn’t include anything overtly sexual. Tasteful innuendo should be OK, if you know how to do it the right way. Be prepared and write it out; spur of the moment is not what we’re going for here.
Here are seven ideas to include in your best man speech.
First, start off by showing gratitude, and introducing yourself, saying that you’re happy to be there at (insert name here) wedding, then proceed.
1. Tell the story of how you guys first met (obviously not if the groom is your brother)
There’s something kind of sweet and romantic about this (which is a little weird but totally acceptable). They call it a bromance for a reason. Hopefully this is not a strangely vulgar story. If it is, don’t tell it, please.
2. A PG or PG-13 story from college (if you met/knew each other in college)
Hopefully this story doesn’t involve crazy stories about girls and yagerbombs. If it does, maybe leave the chick part out, and stick to the bonding part of the story. A funny or ironic story from college would be great if that is how you two initially met.
3. When he first starting dating (or when he first saw) his bride-to-be
This is your chance to make the couple look good. It’s your duty as the best man to do this. Take it seriously.
4. A few semi-appropriate inside jokes
Make sure any inside jokes you tell are not too strong in innuendo. Remember: The groom’s parents and the bride’s parents are there and definitely listening. This could range from interesting stories to things that only the two of you shared that no one else in the world but the two of you think is funny. Awww. Like, you had to have been there.
5. A sentimental story, something you shared in together that deeply affected both of you
This could be along the lines of a tear jerker, or maybe a story about a time that you two helped each other through a hard time in each other’s lives.
6. A life lesson that you learned and that can be used for the bride and groom (a lesson that they can also take away from it)
“And in conclusion, family is the most important thing in the world. Now that you two are family, you two are the most important people in the world to each other…” Mildly tacky, but something along those lines will suffice.
7. When in doubt, keep it short and sweet
If you are not big into public displays of admiration or are genuinely terrible at speaking in front of crowds, keep it short and sweet and wish the couple a beautiful life together.