The honeymoon phase won’t last forever, but for now, it’s pretty darn good. You and your spouse are wallowing in post-wedding bliss, and nothing can go wrong now, right? Wrong.
While you deserve all the happiness in the world, you’re bound to hit a few bumps in the road, even in the very beginning stages of marriage. Before you drive off into the sunset, make sure you’re actually seeing clearly. If you don’t take a step back now, you’ll be paying for it in the future by committing these six common mistakes newlyweds make.
1. Ignoring family and friends
Your new spouse is your family. We get it. But don’t let yourself fall into a dark hole where your other family members and friends are nowhere to be found. While every newlywed deserves their time to nest and just be, it’s important to strike a healthy balance. You don’t want to get so lost in your own little bubble that all your other relationships fall by the wayside. To keep this from happening, Bridal Guide suggests keeping your regularly scheduled nights out with your friends and family to ensure you’re not wondering what happened to everyone when your one-year anniversary rolls around.
2. Forgetting to manage expectations
Most couples are in a state of euphoria following their wedding. They’ve committed to spending the rest of their lives together and proclaimed their eternal love in front of friends and family. What could possibly go wrong? Real life, it turns out. Winifred M. Reilly writes in The Huffington Post that marriage will be harder than expected, but there’s also no need to freak out about it. When things stray from the ideal track, which they inevitably will, deal with it head-on, and use it as a learning experience.
3. Expecting your partner to change
Often, one spouse thinks a marriage certificate will prompt a sudden change in their partner. Did you marry him or her because you thought they’d change their ways for the better? This is a mistake. You shouldn’t have entered the marriage hoping your partner would change drastically. Toni Coleman, psychotherapist and relationship coach, tells Brides couples need to have candid discussions about important issues before walking down the aisle. Nobody’s perfect, but if you can’t stand something about your partner before getting married, you probably won’t be able to stand it after, either.
4. Ignoring tax requirements
As sure as the day is long, the tax man will follow you right into your marriage. You can bet money the IRS will find any discrepancies on your forms. And if you don’t get it right the first time, you could be looking at owing more than you expected. Know how you’ll be filing, and plan accordingly. Even if you’ve been living with your new spouse for years prior to the wedding, your taxes are one thing you can definitely count on changing, so it’s imperative you properly adjust.
5. Keeping score
Wanting to be right is only natural, but gloating about it and keeping a tally of who’s right and who’s wrong certainly won’t do anything for the happiness of your marriage. You don’t want to start your lives together off on the wrong foot, so make a deal with one another to fight fair. YourTango recommends arguing effectively, and letting go of grudges and blame. No, not everything in your marriage will always be perfect, but committing to giving it your best shot will benefit both of you.
6. Rushing to the next step
Most newlyweds want to savor each and every moment of their post-wedding bliss, and rightfully so, which is why it’s important you not rush into the next chapter of your life before really enjoying this special time. Unless your top priority is getting pregnant ASAP, give yourself some time. Do the things you and your partner want to do. What’s the rush? You have the rest of your lives together.