Sometimes after a long stretch without being in a relationship, it’s tempting to start dating someone new just because you’re both available. You may be lonely or afraid you’ll never find that special someone to spend your life with. No matter the reason, starting a relationship with someone out of fear is accepting less than you deserve. Just because you and someone else are both single at the same time doesn’t necessarily mean you should begin seeing each other. Here are six signs you’re settling.
1. You’re restless
One sign you’re settling for someone is when you just don’t feel like you’re able to completely relax into the relationship. Something inside of you tells you the person you’re with isn’t right for you, but you push those voices aside and continue on with the relationship. You find that you’ve “checked out” and you’re just going through the motions. If it’s getting increasingly difficult to stay present when you’re with your significant other, it could be due to the fact that you know you’re wrong for each other, but you choose to ignore that nagging feeling.
2. It takes effort to interact
Forget love — you don’t even like your partner. Just having a conversation or sharing space with your partner takes great effort. If you don’t feel connected and you rarely look forward to seeing your partner each day, this is your gut letting you know it may be time to move on. It’s unfair to both you and your partner to pretend that you’re fine. Things will just get worse — especially if you get married.
3. You try to convince yourself
If you often try to convince yourself your relationship is perfectly OK, that’s usually because it isn’t. Something is amiss when you make extraordinary efforts to stay in a relationship that’s hurting you. It doesn’t even have to be physical or emotional pain you’re experiencing. You could be in a situation where the relationship is unfulfilling, but you’re still holding on because that’s what you’ve always done. Things don’t feel right because they aren’t right. Until you come to terms with the fact you’re with the wrong person, you will just continue to make yourself miserable.
4. You’re thinking about someone else
If your mind often wanders to another person you’re romantically interested in, this is a sign that you may not be with the right person. Consistently pining away and wondering what life would be like with someone else shows you don’t feel sure about who you are with. Stop wondering and take steps toward ending your current relationship.
5. You don’t believe you can do better
Know your worth. You deserve the best. Don’t settle into a relationship because you feel like your current partner is the best you can do. This lie will keep you in an unfulfilling (or abusive) relationship for way longer than you should. Work on building your self-esteem and realizing how valuable you are and how much you have to offer.
6. You’re always complaining to your friends about your partner
You may be able to ignore your forced interactions and waning attention when it comes to your partner, but do yourself a favor and check out what your texts to your friends say. Are you constantly ripping them apart to your best friends? If you find yourself running out of nice things to say about your partner, even when you know the info will never get back to them, check in with yourself. You might be settling for a relationship that will eventually just make you even more miserable.
Follow Sheiresa on Twitter @SheiresaNgo
Additional reporting by Lauren Weiler.