We all seek someone who looks perfect on paper; they have a great job and their Facebook profile paints them as an adventurous, free spirit. But you get to know that person and the more you find the habits that seemed so great in theory are, in fact, setting you back. If you or your partner goes overboard with any of these healthy habits, you have some reevaluating to do.
1. Eating too healthy
It sounds crazy, but when you eat so healthy that you aren’t even willing to splurge on pizza and beer on the weekend, it can cause your partner to feel isolated. Those who eat too healthy also tend to talk about it all the time, in turn making you feel guilty for that hot dog and fries you ate on your lunch break. This is especially frustrating when you go out to dinner with family or friends and your partner is way too picky with the menu.
Eating too healthy is called orthorexia and, according to Today, orthorexics can push themselves to nutritional deficiencies and a ton of mental stress. Life is all about balance, and finding someone who is never willing to find that balance may wear you down over time.
2. Being too clean
Having great hygiene is a definite perk of dating someone (or being around any human being in general), but when your partner is really uptight in terms of their own hygiene, or the hygiene of the home you share, you could feel like you’re trespassing in your own living space.
The National Health Service says modern hygiene may be to blame for the rise of hay fever, eczema, and asthma. The site also says that good and bad germs exist to keep our immune systems in check. The NHS comments:
Good hygiene isn’t about being dirt-free and doesn’t require being obsessively clean. Good hygiene is about preventing the spread of germs at times and in places and situations where it really matters, such as when preparing food, after using the toilet, after sneezing, and when someone’s ill with an infection.
3. Putting your friends in front of your significant other
Putting your friends in front of someone you’re seeing will help keep a balance in your life, but when your partner is putting his or her friends before you, that is when you have a problem. The same goes for you putting your friends in front of him or her; this leads to terrible communication and a lack of care for your significant other.
This good habit also can go another way: If you are putting your significant other before your friends. This is how many relationships are tested, and sometimes totally ruined, because of a clingy significant other. Friendships also may come under fire.
4. Not taking risks
When you don’t take risks, you are ensuring your life stays safe and in control. But taking risks allows us to grow as a person and push the boundaries of our character. The Huffington Post writer Julie Zeilinger says, “We tend to view risk-taking negatively, often regarding it as dangerous and even unwise. But while some risks certainly don’t pay off, it’s important to remember that some do.”
By not taking risks, oftentimes it means you aren’t open-minded. People who take risks have certain goals, one being they want to better themselves or their lives. When you have a partner that isn’t open to taking risks, it may set you apart, especially when planning out a life together. Plus, some risks make for the best stories.
5. You have sex too much
Sex is a great thing. It keeps us happy, stress-free, and healthy. But sometimes, too much sex may make you lose sight of what you love in your partner so much. Yes, we’re talking about character. Actor Terry Crews didn’t have sex with his wife for 90 days and credits that to improving his marriage.
“90 days — no sex, all relationship, all talk, all cuddle,” he told Bossip.com. “I found that at the end of that 90 days … I knew who she was, and it wasn’t about ‘Let’s go out because I know I’m gonna get some sex later.’ It was like, ‘Let’s go because I want to talk to you. I want to know you.’”
6. You put your own happiness in front of your partner’s
We know that losing ourselves in relationships is an unhealthy practice to follow, but when we put our needs completely in front of our partners, we act like less of a team and more of an “I.” Being in a relationship means looking out for another set of needs, in addition to your own. Your happiness should be shared with your partner and vice versa.
Paying attention to the love your partner deserves and needs is an important role in keeping your relationship healthy and happy. Find the balance between knowing who you are and wanting a life together with your partner.