It takes a long time to get to know your partner. Unfortunately, sometimes your partner’s true colors aren’t revealed until after you’ve lived together for a few years. And once you uncover the real deal, it can be pretty scary.
That’s what a few women in a heartbreaking article posted by Minq found out. Several readers shared their stories with the publication, revealing intimate details about how they discovered their partners were devils in disguise.
Here are seven horror stories of women who discovered their partners weren’t who they thought they were.
Affection just wasn’t his thing
This woman says her husband became less affectionate after they got engaged. Things even got so bad she had to ask her husband to hug her. Other than that, she says there was very little physical contact. Here’s what she had to say:
I’ve been married to my husband for six years, dated for four. When dating, we would be affectionate, that’s how I felt loved. Once we got engaged, he started retreating backward, showing less affection, more quiet and distant. I just thought it was cold feet.
Fast forward to the first six years of our marriage. We barely have any form of affection, and not from the lack of trying on my end. When I cry, he shows no emotion, doesn’t even try and comfort me in the slightest. I have to tell him to give me a hug. We have been together for 10 years! You’d think he’d know by now. He’s always on his phone, out at his friend’s place playing video games, or sleeping. I feel like we are roommates.
Next: Doing time
She was a prisoner in her own home
From time to time, you might hear someone say he or she feels like a prisoner if they’ve been indoors for too long. However, this woman really was a prisoner in her own home. She told Minq about her harrowing experience:
We lived together a number of years before we got married. Almost the day after we were married, his family decided to set rules (he bought the house we all lived in). We weren’t allowed out after a certain time, his mother and father could berate me as much as they pleased, and he himself became very controlling. I wasn’t allowed to finish school or work…
I was taken off birth control and no longer allowed out of the house without an escort. I wasn’t even allowed to see my mother more than once a week. Everyone thought we were the perfect couple…
I never had his baby. We were married when I was 19 and I was gone by 25. I ran away in the middle of the night… I had no idea what I was walking into and I lived with them all for years before the control started. It was unbelievable how fast they changed.
Next: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
He had a sudden personality change
This woman wrote in about her dad, who treated her mom well in the beginning but then had an unexpected personality shift after the wedding. Apparently, no one saw this coming. The woman told Minq:
Dad was a perfect gentleman–then came the wedding night. He had a lot to drink and Mum was just trying to put him to bed and he says to her ‘shut up wench, I own you now.’ I would’ve left there and then, got an annulment. Mum stayed and two years later had my brother, two years after that she had me, five years later and after a lot of emotional and physical abuse (staying “for the kids”), my brother says to her “Do we have to live with Dad? He scares me.”
We packed up everything the next day while he was at work and left. She’s now been happily married to my stepdad for the last 10+ years while my Dad is living by himself in a crappy block of granny flats who hasn’t seen either of his kids in 15+ years.
Next: There was no hope left.
This marriage couldn’t be saved
Another woman said she saw red flags when she and her husband were dating. Unfortunately, ignoring the warning signs led her to enter an unsatisfying marriage. They tried couples counseling, but apparently, nothing could save this marriage.
When we first started dating his ex was still living in the same house. I was and still am a trusting person. He admitted to sleeping with his ex when we’d first started dating. I’d catch him in lies, small ones at first, then the verbal abuse started. Small stuff like what I now know is ‘gas lighting.’ He’d dismiss my feelings or complaints saying that I’d either not gotten enough sleep or what have you, or that I was overreacting or something.
This year we will have been married four years but as it stands, I am not attracted to him and don’t feel that spark between us anymore because of all the obstacles he put in between us. We even went to couples therapy and when the therapist told him he was toxic and needed to really change how he handles our relationship if he didn’t want to hurt me, he agreed and then refused to ever go back.
Next: He was caught in a web of lies.
Liar, liar pants on fire
This woman said she had reservations about her husband before they got married, but she pushed them aside. Instead, she moved ahead with the wedding and decided to tie the knot. That decision turned out to be a big mistake.
I ignored the fact that he was texting this one girl and lying about it. The texts didn’t seem too crazy (at first), but he would still lie and say things like ‘I wasn’t texting her’ or ‘I just had a question about work.’ I also ignored when leading up to the wedding and him leaving for boot camp, he seemed to just not care anymore. He was already starting to get too big of a head because he lost so much weight.
On our wedding day, he ignored me pretty much the entire reception. I should’ve just annulled the marriage right there, but I stuck around for another year and a half and it only got worse. I found girl’s clothes in our room after visiting my family. He would tell me my opinions didn’t matter because I was nothing but a civilian. Things ended after a year and a half of marriage. He still tells people I left him because he was deploying and I didn’t want to wait for him. Six years later and I am much happier than I was then.
Next: Trust was lacking.
A reader wrote about how her partner was suspicious of her female friends. She expressed concern about one of them possibly stealing her away and starting a relationship with her. It turns out, this woman’s partner was engaged in the very behavior she was denouncing.
Yeah, she was really worried about some of my female friends stealing me away from her, to the point of not allowing me to interact with them. [She said],’It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s that I don’t trust her!’ Yeah, she cheated on me.
Next: Her partner exhibited some troubling behavior.
He was a sociopath
One woman discovered her partner had issues that were a lot more serious than she thought. She admits he exhibited behavior that resembled sociopathy, but she ignored the signs. Like many of the other women mentioned earlier, she went ahead with the marriage and ended up regretting later.
My ex-husband had all the red flags of a sociopath. He would test to see how far he could go with making things up and he learned what he could do to cover them up. He would use flowers or spend money on me to hide things he was doing. I learned what I was and wasn’t allowed to say in public (example: none of his friends knew he had a 12-year-old child). I spent little time with friends and family because he would convince me that they weren’t supportive or make up things that I would believe because I trusted him. I left my career because he convinced me his pursuit was more important.
In the end, he had a six-month affair. And the flags were all there, but after years of being manipulated, I didn’t know what to believe. He managed to date her and then move to be with her on my dime by convincing me it had to do with his job. He manipulated everyone around him including his friends and even his boss.
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