The concept of “The One” can be difficult to swallow. Is there really just one perfect person for everyone? Do we all have several soul mates or is the whole idea contrived? Regardless of how you feel about “The One,” there comes a time when you’ll outgrow dating. Maybe you are ready to find someone you could share a future with. But how can you be sure he or she is the right person?
Unfortunately, there isn’t a foolproof test. Love is a feeling and a gut instinct. Take into account the following characteristics that mark a special connection between two people.
This person makes you better
Let’s be honest, we all have our bad habits and difficult qualities, so why pair yourself with someone who encourages those traits and brings you down even more? You want to spend the rest of your life with someone who sees your potential and challenges you to become a better version of yourself. This person should encourage you in positive aspirations and help quell negative ones. In short, they should be your biggest supporter in your journey to becoming your best self.
You communicate well
This may seem like an easy one, but it is one of the toughest qualities to find in a world where we text more than we talk on the phone, let alone in person. Communication may feel like a breeze when the topic is simple and easy, but it can easily escalate into a fight when it’s about touchy topics like future goals, criticism, or jealousy.
It’s important for you both to have the freedom to bring up topics that you find dissatisfying within the relationship. No matter how happy you are together, you’ll face challenges. The important thing is how you work to resolve them. With every difficult conversation you have, you will gain a deeper understanding of each other and your relationship as a whole.
You have fun together
Don’t waste your time with someone you don’t have fun with. They may have a million other great qualities, but if you don’t enjoy your time together, continuing the relationship is a giant step in the wrong direction. Not only should you laugh together (this is important), but you should share similar interests.
If your idea of a great weekend is hiking and camping, and he or she likes to eat brunch and catch up on Modern Family, then one of you will always be sacrificing to make the other person happy. There’s no point of continuing a relationship if you have nothing in common.
You’ve got sexual chemistry
You may have found someone who hits all three of the previous points, but if you don’t want to rip their clothes off at some point, you’re going to have to head back to the drawing board. Sex is important and if that connection is missing, then you’re left with a friend, not a future spouse.
Unfortunately, the connection isn’t something that can be forced or created. It’s natural for relationships to go through ups and downs sexually, but make sure you don’t dedicate yourself to a relationship that is missing that initial spark.