Juice cleanses are supposedly a tool to fast-track weight loss, increase energy, and detoxify the body. After six weeks of having sugar as my main food group, I decide there’s no better time than New Year’s to cleanse my body and start the year off fresh. JÙS by Julie offers a 3-day cleanse sale and suddenly I’m swimming in bottled juice. Ahead, find out why I’ll never do a juice cleanse again.
My 3-day juice cleanse from JÙS by Julie is discounted, at 55% off, but still expensive. I worked out the math and each drink costs me $5. At six juices a day, for three days, my total is $90. I picture drinking a $5 bill as I down each one. I know why celebrities do juice cleanses the most — because they can afford them.
My first day
On my first day, I rush out the door and grab juice No. 1, named Sweet Spin. The green juice is a mix of kale, spinach, pineapple, rice milk, banana, and mango. The sweet drink quickly becomes my favorite. I come home after drinking only juice to find brisket in the fridge and bacon frying in a skillet. I’m craving solid food and can’t resist the delicious smells, so I eat brisket and a piece of bacon.
I feel weak
I spend my weekend drinking juice and shopping. While I’m out and about, I feel low on energy and weak. I drink lots of water, which helps somewhat. I drink the Spicy Lemonade and other juices closer together throughout the day.
Some of the juices taste disgusting
When I don’t like the taste of a juice, I force it down, knowing each one cost me $5. This is particularly difficult with the No. 3 juice, Raw Green Protein. A combination of spinach, romaine lettuce, apples, chia seeds, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, dates, and organic vegan protein tastes like swamp sludge to me. The texture is the absolute worst.
I ate worse after the cleanse
When I can’t have solid food, suddenly my willpower drops to zero and I want every piece of food in sight. When my cleanse is over, I eat french toast drowning in syrup. I end up gaining weight after the cleanse is over because I’ve denied myself solid food. The complete opposite of what the cleanse is intended for.
The juices are a good meal replacement
In the future, I would happily use a juice as a meal replacement if I’m running short on time. They’re satisfying and can tide me over until my next meal. However, I’ll never drink only juice for an extended period of time again.
I’m not in a healthy mindset
During the entire cleanse, I’m thinking about when I’ll be done drinking juice. I want cookies, pasta, and sandwiches. A strict cleanse is not for me. Instead, I’d drink one of the juices a day. That way, I’m not depriving myself of what I want and I won’t indulge quite as much later.
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