Ridiculous Reasons That Make People Think It’s OK to Stay Friends With an Ex
Let’s be honest, we’ve all kept ex-partners around as friends. Heck, you might be buddy-buddy with a past partner right now! And sometimes, a friendship with your ex can work out just fine. Most of the time, however, staying friends with a former flame is a terrible idea. What’s worse is that you probably don’t want to admit that the friendship isn’t wise — and you’re lying to yourself in an attempt to make it work.
Don’t believe us? Here are the ridiculous lies you are telling yourself about staying friends with your ex.
‘We have a lot of mutual friends.’
On one hand, it can be tricky when you and your ex have mutual friends. That being said, this excuse is absurd. To put it bluntly: Go hang out with your own friends. And if you and your former partner want to remain friends with the same people, that doesn’t mean you two have to be chummy.
Hopefully, your friends will be okay with seeing the two of you separately. (They probably want to avoid your breakup anyway.)
‘So we’ve always had this inside joke where …’
It’s perfectly normal post-breakup to go through a period where you miss the good things from your relationship. Like certain jokes that only you and your boo knew about. But you shouldn’t cling to these things as an excuse to stay close to your ex, especially in an attempt to keep your old love in your life. Accept the fact that you will create new inside jokes with other people and move on.
‘Game of Thrones was kind of our thing.’
Honey, please. Game of Thrones and every other popular show on TV is everybody’s thing. Yes, it can be hard to engage in certain activities solo when it was something you and your ex used to do together. But your best course of action here is to find someone else to partake in these activities with. Keeping your ex around just to talk about a TV show is ludicrous.
‘I mean, I’m still close to his/her family.’
This is a weird one. Yes, you might be on good terms with your former in-laws. There’s nothing wrong with that. But keeping close ties with the family in order to stay friends with your ex is a mistake. It shows that you aren’t letting go of the relationship. (Especially if your ex is dating someone new, and you’re staying in the picture.)
‘I’m the only person that understands this about him/her.’
Unless you are the only human being that your ex ever associated with on a regular basis, you probably aren’t the only person that knows how he or she is wired. And you probably aren’t the only person that knows about a hardship your old flame endured while you two were together. Staying friends with your ex because you claim to be “the authority” on how he or she feels just shows that you aren’t over it, and can’t stand to see someone else that close to them.
‘We were together when I went through (insert major life event here).’
It’s no secret that going through a major life event with your partner at your side can make you two closer. But if the event has passed, there’s no reason to keep your ex around for emotional support. You need to try to seek out another friend or confidante to be your shoulder to cry on, or your person to angrily vent to. If you insist on continually divulging your emotions to your ex, then you haven’t emotionally moved on.
‘I still love (insert ex’s name here).’
If you and your ex still love each other, then more power to you. But that is a terrible excuse for staying friends. Especially if your relationship became toxic — or worse, if your ex was abusive towards you. Trust us, the phrase “if you love something, let it go” speaks volumes here.