James Comey Slams Donald Trump’s Physical Appearance in His New Book

James Comey took aim at more than Donald Trump’s alleged collusion with Russians in his new book, A Higher Loyalty.

The former FBI director left no stone uncovered by going into detail about Trump’s appearance and demeanor. Beyond describing Trump as “not understanding the FBI’s role in American life,” Comey mused about Trump’s spray tan, hair, and all the physical feature that makes Trump, Trump. Good idea? Page 7 explores if this was a good or bad strategic idea.

1.  The glow is real

Trump has an unusually orange glow to his skin. | Chris Kleponis/Pool/Getty Images

Comey sniped at Trump’s overdone spray tan writing, “His face appeared slightly orange, with bright white half-moons under his eyes where I assume he placed small tanning goggles,” The Cut reports.

However, makeup artist Jason Kelly told Marie Claire Trump may be a victim of poor lighting rather than a bad spray tan. “He didn’t have any liquid or cream foundation on, or spray tan actually,” Kelly told Marie Claire. “The newer ones nowadays are a lot better, but I have an eye for it and I can spot it a mile away.”

Next: But what about the ‘abandoned nest?’

2. A mullet that died in some horrific accident

Donald Trump hair blows in wind

Comey thought Trump’s hair was his own. | Jim Watson/AFP/Getty Images

Trump’s hair has epically warranted a vast number of creative descriptions including a mullet that died in some horrific accident, Mexican feather grass, and a comb-over from hell, The Washington Post reports.

Comey was slightly gentler with his description writing, “Impressively coiffed, bright blond hair, which on close inspection looked to be all his. I remember wondering how long it must take him in the morning to get that done,” The Cut reports.

Next:Does Trump measure up?

3. Comey (literally) looked down on Trump

Comey is much taller than Trump. | Andrew Harrer-Pool/Getty Images

Comey played the whole, “I’m taller than you” card when he commented on the president’s height. At 6-foot-8, Comey is significantly taller than most people. Trump is about 6-foot-3, which is still taller than the average man. Nonetheless, Comey wrote that Trump, “appeared shorter than he seemed on a debate stage,” ABC News reports.

Next: Of course Comey went here.

4. He couldn’t resist making this comment

Even Comey weighed in on Trump’s hand size. | Kevin Dietsch-Pool/Getty Images

Ah, the hands. Not one to miss a good jab at the hands, Comey wrote when the men shook hands he noticed Trump’s hand “was smaller than mine,” The Huffington Post reports. Comey followed up the small hand comment by saying Trump’s hand didn’t seem unusually small.

Next: Comey even remarked about this.

5. Comey sized up Trump

Trump tries for a hug with Comey. | Andrew Harrer-Pool/Getty Images

World leaders are well aware of Trump’s “clasp, yank, release,” handshake move. However, Comey said the president tried to hug him during a photo op, The Huffington Post reports. Uninterested in feeling the Trump love, Comey wrote, “He was not going to get a hug without being a whole lot stronger than he looked. He wasn’t.”

Next: The one thing that is always too long on Trump.

6. He makes another predictable comment about Trump

Vanessa Trump, Donald Trump Jr., Donald Trump and Melania Trump

Comey commented on Trump’s overly-long ties. | Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images

Trump is notorious for wearing ties that are way too long. Some speculate he prefers long ties to hide a problem area. One Boston Globe reporter wrote, “With Trump’s neckwear preference baffling the public, the prevailing theory is that as an amply sized man who seems to value a trim appearance, he may be trying to hide a problem area.”

Comey certainly noticed, writing, “His tie was too long, as it always is,” The Washington Post reports.

Next:Was making fun of Trump’s appearance a smart move?

7. Do the physical appearance comments help or hurt Comey?

James Comey testifying in a dark suit and a red tie

Comey has found himself in the middle of a firestorm. | Drew Angerer/Getty Images

Some view the comments Comey made about Trump’s appearance as sinking down to Trump’s level. A writer from The National Review wrote, “Honestly, I can’t even read this section without rolling my eyes. James Comey is supposed to be a former FBI director, not a high-school bully, and the tanning and tiny-hands comments sound a lot more like something from the latter from than the former.” Perhaps Comey should have left the physical observations on the cutting room floor.

Quite predictably, Trump is going crazy, tweeting that Comey “will go down as the WORST FBI Director in history, by far” and referring to him as a “slimeball,” The New York Times reports.

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